


Picture Perfect

by CoffeesForFuckers



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, BoyxBoy, Cute, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gay, Kissing, LGBT, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Lots of kissing, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Snapchat, Some hurt/comfort, Summer Vacation, Supposed to be fluffy, Sweet, Teen Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, alive!Lucy, but cute, gay kissing, idk - Freeform, just cute, lots of gays, probably angst, snapchat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-03-27 17:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13885299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeesForFuckers/pseuds/CoffeesForFuckers
Summary: 'King Baz has added you!'Simon Snow never realized how much that one little notification would change his entire life.// Will be undergoing some MAJOR editing when complete!!! \\





	1. King Baz

#  Simon

It’s a blurry, tiring day. It’s been so goddamn hot outside lately that it’s hard to breathe and my mother decided to bring me and my sister, Charlotte, to the beach. 

It was a tiring day.

Sat up on my bed, I realize that I am utterly awake. I can’t fathom how I could not be knocked out on my pillow by now.

Summers have been nice since I found my mother, and Watford was a dream-come-true. Other than Baz that is.

Speak of the devil.

I open my snapchat and look at my ‘added me’ tab. 

Elspeth, Ebb, Trixy and Louie. 

I accept them all and the first ‘quick add’ suggestion that pops up when I’m finished is the bastard himself.

_ Bsltn_Ptch _

No vowels. How  _ edgy _ .

I tap his contact and look it over.  _ King Baz _ is his name with a stupid crown emoji next to it. His bitmoji is absolutely hysterical too. He actually made himself a bloody vampire.

I can’t help but to snort at it. How conceded can you get?

I roll my eyes and tap out of his and look through the other couple of people. Dev, Niall and a couple of first years that are friends with my friend Percy.

I fall back to lay on my pillow, crossing one leg over my other thats propped in the air and I tap Baz’s icon again. I’m not fully sure why I find this so absolutely hilarious. I’m sleep-deprived so that’s a good reason.

My window flies open and I jump so hard that my phone flies from my hand and clatters to the floor. I scramble to the now empty hole in my wall that resides near the end of my bed, leaning out into the dark of the night.

Penny.

“Goddamnit. Give me a heart attack why don’t you?” I huff as she climbs the trellis under my window, having magicked it open.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to swing it open so hard.” She smiles up at me with a laugh as she pulls a leg into the opening, tumbling onto my bed with a soft  _ thwup _ .

“You better hope that my phone is okay.” I chuckle as I hop up and grab it off the floor.

“What would I ever do without your unnecessary comments on my snap-stories.” She feins disappointment as she stretches out over the covers. I roll my eyes and flip my phone - which landed face down - in my hand to examine the damage and my stomach drops. 

“No fucking-...” I trail and I’m violently sure that every drip of color has abandoned my body and I’m also sure that Penny noticed too.

“What? Did it break?” She sits and reaches for it. I jerk my arm away before she can and panickingly rush to fix my mistake.

“Baz- I… I added Baz-...” I stammer out. “When you scared me-... I accidentally pressed add.” I scramble to unadd him before he notices.

But, before I can, my phone buzzes.

_ King Baz has added you! _

I nearly choke. “He added me back?!” I shout in horrid shock.

“What!?” Penny makes another grab at my phone.

“He’s plotting,” I say, pulling the phone away again. “This is all part of his plan.”

Penny makes an exasperated flop to the bed with a just as dramatic sigh and eyeroll. “Simon, he’s not  _ always  _ plotting against you. It’s  _ summer _ , he has better things to be doing.” Penny grumbles at me as I sit down on the end of the bed, back pressed to the wall and legs out straight before me. 

Penny kicks her legs up into my lap.

“I don’t mean like this  _ is _ his plot but I’m saying that he’ll use it against me, Penny.” I sigh and begin flicking through everybody’s snapchat stories.

“Block him then.” She shrugs.

“Anyway,” I change the subject. “What are you even doing here at this hour?”

“Oh yeah! I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with Agatha and I to go late night bowling at that new place in town.”

“Uh,” I glance at the time. “It’s been a really long day for me and I’m too tired. Sorry Pen,” I ruffle her curls. “Maybe next time!”

“Damn, okay,” She gives me a halfhearted frown and slides from the bed. “I forgot about that and I better get going before Agatha kills me.” She laughs and tosses a leg through my open window.

“I wish you luck in your inevitable lecture.” I joke as she gets her other leg out.

“Thanks, Simon,” She laughs against and gives me a shove. “Have a good night, Simon. Don’t worry too much about Baz.” And, with that, she jumps out of my window and lands safely with the aid of some magic.

I sigh and tip over, laying on my side, a sigh blowing past my lips. I was so awake right now but my body was too tired to move.

I decide to scroll through Instagram but that was just the same old bullshit. Everybody swooning over crushes/lovers and others whining about stupid shit that nobody cares about and some old memes. 

I try Twitter next, same as Instagram but with more stolen memes from Tumblr and less talking of lovers and more fangirling over celebrities and ranting.

I spend a few hours just flicking through the stupidity, I just need  _ something _ to do. I’m starved for any source of entertainment.

Then, I’m back at Snapchat at some ungodly hour that's close to three in the morning. I don’t want to be, not now since Baz has me as a contact. I can’t help but to groan when I notice the little story bubble next to his name.

I click it out of utter curiosity and a picture pops up, engulfing my screen in black silhouettes of trees, knocked out against a deep blue sky, littered with stars, giving the sky the look of spilled sugar on a table. The picture is gorgeous.

There's a light text filtered in amongst the stars,  _ I say that you are the stars _ .

Edgy.

I can’t help myself when I flick up, taking a picture of the couch adjacent to me,  **Are you in the woods?**


	2. Why Are You Outside?

#  Simon

**Are you in the woods?**

I stare at the blinking cursor for a little longer than I’d like to before hitting send.

I roll into my back and groan at the way my body protests to the movement. I pull up the snapchat camera and take a picture of my eyes,  **Looooonnnnggg day, can’t sleep. This is a cry for help.**

I put it on my story and also send it to Penny and she opens it only a second later and replies just as fast. It’s a picture of Agatha bowling,  _ Should’ve came. _

I roll my eyes and turn the screen off, dropping my phone next to me in the bed. I lay there and stare at the wall across from me and my phone lights up next to me after a moment.

_ King Baz _

The notification makes me jump. He actually replied? It vaguely feels like my heart just smashed through my ribcage. I’m panicking and honestly I can’t tell why.

I wait a second to open it. It’s a picture of the sky again,  _ Does it matter? _

I growl at the reply. Can’t even say yes or no. Ass.

He gets another picture of my couch,  **I was just asking, you tool.**

He opens it almost instantly and I flinch. Why so fast? 

He’s definitely plotting.

A red block appears near his name about a minute or so later and I hesitate and wait a bit to reply. I don’t want to seem desperate or like I want to be having a conversation with this bastard, because I  _ don’t. _

This picture is of the grass and just his hair sprawled out across it,   _ I am. Why do you care? _

Shit. That is a good question. Why do I care? I know that I don’t but why am I even doing this?

I send a picture of my bent legs hanging over my bed,  **Because it’s nearly 3, who goes outside at such an hour other than V A M P I R E S ? !**

I watch to see if he replies quickly again but he doesn’t. I let my phone fall from my hands to my chest and I close my eyes. I’m still not tired enough to sleep. Maybe I have Insomnia.

I can hear Penny’s voice in my head,  _ Simon you do not have Insomnia. You idiot, do you even know what that is? _

The last bit sounded more like Baz than Penny.

I yawn and my phone vibrates then. Another Snapchat from Baz. I open it fast this time, truly not caring about if it was weird or not anymore.

His legs are sprawled out in the grass and he has on a pair of sushi-themed pajama pants and no shoes,  _ Christ, Snow, plenty of people go out at 3. Just because you don’t doesn’t mean that other people don’t. _

I roll my eyes at his tone. I could practically  _ hear _ him saying it.

He gets a picture of my dresser which holds my T.V. and PS4,  **Normal people do not go out at 3 unless their job requires it or they’re drunk.**

It’s almost immediately opened and he replies quickly. It’s a picture of his arm laid out in the grass,  _ Maybe I’m drunk. _

I roll my eyes yet again and send a picture of my forehead and pillow,  **Sure you are, Baz.**

I could go for a drink. I haven’t had any since I came home smashed and my mom took away my keys for three weeks. What a shame.

I toss my phone to the side and fall out of bed. I needed to put on my pajamas as I was still in my gross beach clothes. I should shower too, my hair was matted to my head at this point. Salt water has never agreed with my unruly mop of curls. I’d let it grow out a little over the summer months. 

I grab a pair of sweatpants and a grey v-neck from my wardrobe and get my phone from my bed. There’s a new message from Baz and I open it on the way to the bathroom down the hall.

It’s his feet in the grass, it looks like he was standing now,  _ Your hair looks worse than usual, Snow. _

Asshole.

I take another picture of it,  **It’s called fashion, Baz. You wouldn’t know about it.**

I laugh to myself as I hit send and place my phone on the counter, stripping from my clothes and turning the water on.

My phone lights up and I open the new message. Baz’s feet are on a stone wall, looking like he’s balancing himself on it,  _ Yes, Watford uniforms and matted hair are very in this season… Idiot. _

I mutter a few choice words to myself and send a picture of my bare hip and part of my leg and bathroom mat,  **No Watford Uniform here :)**

#  Baz

**No Watford Uniform here :)**

I actually fall off of the stone wall that blocks the woods from my backyard. I rip my pajama pants and cut my knee open on the concrete ground that surrounds the pool.

“Goddamnit, Snow!” I let a few more cusses fly at the pain in my leg.

I grit my teeth and send a picture of the wound and my now ruined pants to Snow,  _ Why the hell are you even talking to me again? _

I groan to myself and lay back on the hard flooring and look up at the stars again. My knee throbs like a persistent headache and I frown. Why would he ever send something like that? Is he catching onto me? Crowley, I would actually die.

Another message pops up from him and I tap it. It’s of his mouth, lips pulled into a parted frown and teeth clenched, I can almost hear him making that stupid  _ shht  _ sound. I can also see his stupid neck and that mole that drives me crazy. I finally notice the caption,  **Ouch, Serves you right for balancing on that wall tho. I also messaged you to ask a simple question and you dragged it out into this.**

The little bastard. I would send him flying down those goddamn stairs again - on purpose this time - if I were there. I’d also probably be doing many other things other than that but right now, I want punch him in the jaw.

I snap another picture of my leg and this time the pants are slightly red from the blood,  _ You keep replying, Snow. Haven’t you learned that I will never let you have the last word. _

I place my phone down on the concrete and pull myself to my feet. My knee protests by buckling beneath me, though I catch myself on one of my step-mother Daphne’s stupid potted trees. “Damnit.” I hiss as I lean down for my phone and it lights up in my palm.

I sigh and open it. It’s the side of Snow’s face, hair and skin wet and shower water splattering down in the background. His eye is so bright there and I have this swelling temptation to fire my phone into the pool. He was gorgeous and I knew when I added him that I was absolutely fucked 7 ways to Sunday.

It reads,  **Well, I won’t let you get the last word, Baz.**

I take a picture of the pool,  _ Are you in the shower? Talking to me? G r o s s Snow. _

The image if him sending me the rest of his wet, showered-self lights my face aflame. If he did, by some miracle do  _ that _ , I would promptly drown myself in the pool.

I hobble to my back, glass sliding door and enter my kitchen - which it was attached to.

I couldn’t possibly make it up to my room with my knee like this so I just sit at the kitchen table.

A new message from Snow pops up on the screen.

It’s of his shower wall,  _ Suck it up, Baz. We share a shower at Watford. _

Another comes in before I can reply. This one is of him in a full-length mirror on the back of his bathroom door. He has a towel around his waist. I nearly fall from my chair. 

I have never even seen him fully shirtless. 

It says,  **Also, what does that thing on your story even m e a n? Who is the stars? Is it about your mom or something?**

I could faint. I need to screenshot this but like, how do I play that off? I stare at the unmoving photo for a while.

Fuck it. I’ll figure something out.

I screenshot it and send a reply that definitely isn’t true but Snow’s an idiot and will believe it. 

A picture of my table,  _ God fucking damnit, my phone froze on that goddamn disgusting picture and when I tried to restart my phone it screenshotted. Just my luck.  _

And I send another in reply to the question he sent, _ If it’ll get you off my ass then, yes, it is. _

Not.

It’s so obviously about him. Look at his body, he’s a walking star-map. Those moles and freckles and abso-bloody-lutely everything else.  _ Fuck. _

I get a reply nearly ten minutes later and I’m ready to burst at that point.

A picture of his legs hanging off a roof,  **Such a lie. The way you replied, it has to be about somebody else.**

Really Snow? No comment on me screenshotting your gorgeous body?

Idiot!

I could kill him.

I take a picture of the counter,  _ Yeah, so? I gave you an answer, didn’t I? _

He replies in seconds, more of his legs dangling off his roof,  **Not an actual answer. A total lie if anything.**

Goddamnit, Snow. Can’t you just drop it?

He gets a picture of my messed up knee and foot rested on a chair,  _ It wasn’t fully a lie, Snow. _

**Are they important to you?** He asks next, a picture of the stars. I suck in a sharp breath. My two favorite things.

I take a picture of my neck,  _ The stars? Yeah? I guess so. _

This time I get a picture of his face, his eyes turned up to the sky, teeth pulling his bottom lip partially into his mouth. I can see the stars behind him.

I don’t even think when I screenshot it.

**No, stupid. The person they remind you of.**

That’s a heavy question coming from the person I’m in love with.

I sigh and send a picture of my hair in front of my face,  _ Stupid phone is ruining my life. Ugh but, yeah, you could say that. _

I rest my head on the table, exhausted. I just don’t want to stop talking to Simon.

A reply pops up.

It’s of his feet, stood on the wooden floor that was probably inside his room,  **Wow, Baz Pitch cares about somebody. Never thought I’d see the day.**

I roll my eyes at that and take a lazy picture of my face on the table, my eyes drooping,  _ I’m full of surprises, Snow. _

And I fall asleep.


	3. Picture Perfect

 

#  Simon

Baz didn’t open my last snapchat, a picture of my legs dangling off my bed with the caption,  **Obviously you are if I couldn’t see that you cared about things.**

Probably sick of talking to me. I got the last word though, so, therefore, I have won. 

Who would’ve guessed that victory would feel so hollow?

Crowley, I can’t even keep my eyes open. I never realized how tiring it was to talk to Baz until now. 

I lean off the edge of my bed and grab my charger from the floor, plugging my phone in and leaving it next to my pillow and flicking the light off, rolling over to face the wall, pulling another pillow into my stomach and wrapping my blankets over myself.

My head bumped the wall lightly, and then, I was asleep.

***

_ Fingers pull through my hair and cold hands brush my skin. My skin feels utterly freezing, something else was pressed against my back.  _

_ A hand wraps around my waist and cold runs up my shirt and soft fingers rest on my chest. I’m not afraid and lean more into the touch. There’s gentle lips pressed to my exposed collarbone and neck and my magic oozes out of me at the sensation, a chill crawling up my spine as I run a hand up my own shirt and lace my fingers within the ones that were holding me. _

_ I’m so hot, magic shimmering on my skin but the body behind mine is like fucking ice. It felt  _ **_good_ ** _ , so, so good. I was fire being smothered out by cool water and I loved it, my head tipping back more into the palm of this person. Their breath is as cold as their body, running over my burning skin.  _

_ Shit. _

_ Holy fuck. _

_ This feels amazing. _

_ My shirt is pulled upward and cold skin pushes to mine. I can’t help but to gasp, like snow getting under my clothes in the dead of winter. _

_ My hand tightens around theirs and they squeeze back, a smile forming on their lips and a leg wraps around my waist, my eyes close and I let out a shaking breath. My heart is throbbing in my chest. _

_ I roll my head and push my face into the person’s neck, ridding the flames licking at my cheeks, there’s a pull at my hair as their fingers get tangled in my curls. _

_ My free hand runs under the shirt of the other and my fingers press to the stomach of the person, a gasp escapes them and I know that sound, I can’t place where from though. I don’t bother with trying to remember, because I don’t care. _

_ Not now. _

_ This feels so good. _

_ I can’t think. _

_ “Simon,” _

I sit bolt upright in my bed, panting and I find Charlotte hovering nearby. I place a hand to my chest to calm myself, my heart thudding rapidly against my ribcage. 

I fall back to the bed. 

I must’ve had a nightmare.

“Simon,” Charlotte says. “Mom said to come wake you.”

“What for?” I grunt and scrub my hands over my face to wash away the weary edge of sleep from my head.

“It’s nearly two, Simon.” She scowls at me.

“What? Seriously?” I sit up again and glance at the clock, 1:49PM the red numbers blink back at me. “Shit, I was up like, stupid late.” I grunt and swing my legs over the edge of my bed, grabbing my phone off the charger and hobbling down the stairs after Charlie, into the living room.

“It lives!” Mother cheers jokingly as I throw myself onto the couch, flicking the T.V. on.

“Barely.” I groan and check my notifications.

Snapchats from Penny, Percy and one from Dev? Weird.

A few follows and likes on Instagram and Twitter but nothing truly interesting.

I check my Snapchat instead. Baz still hasn’t opened the message I sent him last night. I sigh and open Penny’s

It’s a video of her bowling. She gets a strike and throws her hands in the air, “Hole in one!” She cheers and I roll my eyes with a gentle laugh.

Percy just sent a streak and I replied with one. 

Then I open Dev’s. It’s a picture of him blowing out smoke,  _ You got any weed? _

I roll my eyes and take a picture of the T.V. stand,  **Do you really think I would?**

I’m bored, so bored. I want to go out and do something,  _ anything _ , but I don’t know where I would go to.

Plus, my body wants to sink into the couch and not move for the rest of the summer.

#  Baz

I awake with a start, flinging myself upward so quickly and forcefully that I completely tumble from the chair, knocking both myself and it to the floor. My injured leg still propped painfully on the other seat. My heart is pounding erratically and my stomach is in knots as I look about the room. My brain, for just the slightest moment, believed that I was in bed with Snow. Why?

But, I was in my kitchen and my entire being ached, especially my knee. I look up and find my father looming over me. I pick myself and the chair up, returning to my sitting position. “Basilton,” He starts and I slump back to the table. “Why are you sleeping in the kitchen?”

“I went for a walk and fell and by the time I got home my knee hurt so badly that I just sat here to let it subside and I must’ve dozed.” I yawn and stretch my arms out across the surface before me.

“Dozed? Basilton, it is nearly four!” He points to the clock and I nearly fall from my chair again.

“Great snakes,” I croak as I lamely get to my feet, my knee fighting against the movement and I grip the table to hold my balance. Another yawn racks me and I feel my fangs pop in my mouth. That happened sometimes. “Shit! I had plans to meet Fiona for lunch!” I gasp at the sudden realization and I grab my phone from the table, sending her an apology text.

_ Shit, sorry, I was asleep, father just woke me, do you want to get dinner instead? _

I limp into the living area and actually check my notifications this time. I had a Snapchat from Snow and one from Dev. 

I also had around thirty new followers on Instagram and a few Twitter mentions.

I also had a few notes on Tumblr.

I would never admit to anybody that I actually used that god-forsaken website.

I open Dev’s Snapchat first, it’s of him, blowing a ring of smoke towards the camera,  **Baz, you got any weed?**

I reply with a photo of me rolling my eyes,  _ No, Dev. _

Then I open Snow’s, legs hanging over his bed,  **Obviously you are if I couldn’t see that you cared about things.**

I have to think hard for a second to know what he was even talking about. I flush red when I remember and snap a picture of the side of my face, one of my greenish/grey eyes in view and my blisteringly red cheek with my black hair messed horridly.

_ Snow, you really are thick. _

I trudge up the stairs to my room and wince each time I lift my leg, my knee shooting pain throughout it. I also cuss each and every time.

I grab a new set of clothes the moment I get to my room. I seriously need to shower. I felt gross for some reason, probably from laying in the wet grass. Usually I just crawl up onto the roof to watch the stars.

My phone vibrates on my dresser and I jump, grabbing it quickly and frowning as I notice that it’s just Fiona.

**_Yeah, sure, meet you at Panda Express at six._ **

Gross.

Of course she chose that shithole.

I sigh and grab a pair of jeans and a grey/blue v-neck that had ‘homo or hell-no’ embroidered on the little chest pocket.

I hobble down the hallway to the bathroom and strip the second the door closes. I toss my pajama pants onto the counter and point my wand at the rip.  **_“Out! Out! Damned spot!”_ ** I cast and the rip and bloodstains are gone. I smile at my handywork.

I turn the shower on as hot as possible and wait for it to warm up.

My phone lights up.

_ My Beautiful Simon _

I can’t help but to smile at that too. Having that just let me fuel my fevered dream of having Snow as my own.

A picture of him, laid on his couch and crumbs on his chest, a chip poking out from between his stupidly-pink lips.

**Why are you messaging me, Baz? Miss me? ;)**

“Yes.” I speak aloud without realizing.

I stare at the message for a while, trying to think of anything at all to say to this complete dolt.

Eventually, I take a picture of my bare torso in the mirror,  _ No, I just don’t want you to have the last word. _

Good enough in my eyes.

I step into the scalding water and wince for a moment, letting my body adjust to it. Another message from Snow comes in.

His feet pressed to the end of his couch. A different one from the one in his room. 

**Nah, I think you miss me.**

Goddamn this idiot, my face is so goddamned red that I can’t possibly reply with a selfie.

I pull the same stunt as him and get a picture of my bare hip,  _ Never in a million years, Snow. You just wish I missed you. _

Why am I still even talking to him?

Water hits my injury and I cuss at the sudden pain.

A sigh passes my lips and I wash my hair. I don’t even notice he’d replied until I’m looking myself over in the mirror.

I’m so blank, I realize as I look myself over. I have one mole or a birthmark of some sort next to my navel and another on my neck. Coincidentally, I was bitten in the same spot as it.

Snow sends a picture of his feet, now covered by socks, one with a shoe on and one without,  **Never, Baz.**

I take a mirror picture and scribble out my crotch in red,  _ Sure, Snow. I know you secretly wish we were back at Watford so you could follow me around everywhere again. Also, that’s called stalking. You, Snow, are my stalker. _

I turn bright red before I send it.

I dry off and pull on my tight, black jeans and my t-shirt before I get another notification.

_ My Beautiful Simon screenshotted your Snap! _

I nearly scream.

Maybe I did scream? 

I can’t tell.

Then, a reply,

The street, trees lining it for miles,  **You wish. It’s actually called, making sure you aren’t going to kill me.**

I take another mirror picture (clothed this time),  _ Why the hell are you screenshotting my naked body!? _

I pace the room for a bit, compulsively waiting for a reply.

It takes him ten goddamn minutes to even open it, let alone say anything.

The picture is his stupid (beautiful) face, smirk playing at those lips of his and eyes turned upward mischievously.

Only two words are written on it,  **Pay back.**

I screenshot out of frustration (and also because I’m weak for him).

I make my way back to my room and spray myself with some cologne. I mostly wear it because I rarely have to shave since I can't for the life of me grow a beard and I want to smell like a man, after-shave and all.

I can't tell if it's because I'm dead or if my genes just suck. I can grow hair on my head and well - my nether regions. Not even on my legs! Technically, I can but it usually looks bad because it's patchy so I just wax it.

I take a picture of the bottle on my dresser,  _ I am going to throw you down the stairs again the next time I see you. _

I get a reply almost immediately. A picture over the edge of a cliff that drops into a body of water,  **Also, you're like a hairless cat lmao**

I grit my teeth and take a picture of my red face, middle finger held high,  _ Suck my dick, Snow. _

I grab my wallet and lanyard full of keys (I keep them all on this because I forget my things everywhere) and stomp down the stairs.

“I'm going out to eat with Fiona!” I call through gritted teeth.

“Tell her I said hello!” Calls father from the kitchen just before I slam the front door behind me.

I get out to my car and throw the driver side door open and toss my rainbow ' _ move, I'm gay _ ’ lanyard and my wallet on to the passenger seat.

It's a miracle that Snow hasn't caught on to my queerness yet.

It's great being in love with somebody so oblivious to the world.

There's a new message from Snow and I growl at it, something he does often towards me. Little does he know that it turns me on so bad that it's an utter shock he hasn't noticed the incriminating evidence that he creates with that noise.

It's of his nose scrunched,  **Ew that's gay, gross.**

There's this pang of something that hits me and my stomach knots and I can suddenly feel the blood pumping through my veins. I could throw up.

I don't answer that and just pull out my driveway, eyes fogged with tears. If anything, I didn't expect him to be so harsh.

It didn't hurt that my feelings weren't reciprocated, it hurt that he called being gay, gross. Maybe he does know about me?

***

Fiona is talkative and tonight, for once, I appreciate it. No awkward silence and she hasn't had to notice my odd behavior. I'd barely eaten. I mean, I don't eat in public anyway but my stomach is a wreck since I received that message. It's weighing so heavily on me.

I place a piece of chicken in my mouth and nearly gag. Fiona catches that as I swallow hard to get rid of the food before it makes me throw up. 

“You alright, Basil?” She hums with a mouth full of rice. I almost retch at that too.

“Fine.” I reply, pointedly avoiding her eyes.

“You're not,” She sighs. “What's up? Tell me.” She is a good listener. I love my aunt for the sole reason that she cares about the things I have to say and she doesn't tell father anything either.

“I like a guy.” I start and she perks up.

“Who!?” She's beaming.

“Somebody that hates me a lot and like-”

“Dear God, Basil, tell me who it is, you know I won't tell Malcolm.” She insists and my stomach twists.

I sigh at her and shake my head. She repeats the word ‘please’ until it loses all meaning and I crack.

“I- uh,” I frown as all my thoughts jumble. “Snimon- I mean! Simon-... Simon Snow that is- the, uh… the Mage's heir, I l-”

“Enough, Baz,” She laughs at my nerves. “You really like him, huh?” Her smile softens and she gives my shoulder a light punch.

“I-... Yeah, I do.” I nod as I still avoid her eyes.

“What's so wrong with that?” She gives my arm a shove. “Come on, smile.”

“He could never like me. He hates me! Well, he thinks I hate him too, cause, I well, I don't know how to convey my feelings.” I shrug.

“Chin up, kid. Things will work out if you just try a bit harder to make him your man!”

“Fiona, he basically told me that being gay is gross today.” I feel my eyes fill again and my voice wobbles. Her shoulders slump.

“Tell me what happened.”

And so, I do. I tell her  _ everything _ . Abso-bloody-lutely everything. 

Him adding me, the picture that is so obviously about him, him talking to me and making me fall and hurt my knee. Everything up to him saying those words that make my hands shake, even now.

I even started crying, to the point where her and I had to actually leave. She took my keys and drove with me, telling me we didn’t have to go home yet. She had - thankfully - taken the bus so I wouldn’t have to drive myself home in this state.

I just wanted to lay under the stars and sob. 

Snow talked to me. For once, he really talked to me. 

He was probably just trying to get information to use against me, but he still had a conversation with me that wasn’t just him spitting fury and throwing the word ‘plotting’ around like it was a conjunction.

Merlin and Morgana, for once, I was so happy. 

I love him.

He makes me so happy.

But, right now I'm not. I'm letting myself cry silently and stare out the window of my wine colored sports car.

It was really quiet and Fiona was just aimlessly driving around in attempt to calm me down. It was kind of working I guess.

“Basil,” Aunt Fiona grabs my attention and I glance at her, letting her know that I was listening. “Do you really love him?”

It catches me off guard. “I-...” I frown at myself. “More than anything.”

More than anything ever. At all. 

Snow was my sun and moon and stars. He was my universe and my home and my air to breathe.

He smelled like smoke and something sweet and brown.

Sugar and smoke and fucking apple pies. Scones. Pastries.

Things I want to just eat.

Simon Snow was the stars, falling out of orbit and colliding with me. The planets, that is. 

He was a beautiful thing, a ball of flame, glowing and guiding me home, guiding me to my safe place.

But, he was also breaking me apart, crashing harder and harder, each blow, sending bits of me flying into the atmosphere.

That's Simon for you.

Destruction. Absolutely beautiful destruction.

I feel Fiona, she reaches over and squeezes my knee, collapsing my thoughts like a black hole. “It’s good to know that you really do care about something with all of your heart, Baz. You never have before,” She doesn’t take her eyes off the road. “I never saw you care before. Nothing bothered you, Basil… And I never even saw you smile either. Then, one day, it was when you came home for Christmas break, fifth year maybe?” She pauses for a moment. “Possibly fourth… You were  _ laughing _ . I swore I hadn’t seen you do that since your mother died. I don’t know what caused such a change, but I feel like he’s the reason and, Baz, I love him for bringing back the life in you.”

I’m crying again.

“That was the week after Simon awoke from a horrible night terror and was crying his heart out, the only time I was nice to him, and I sat on his bed with him and let him hold my hand until he calmed down. I hugged him and told him that it was alright and that I get them too sometimes…” I close my eyes and try to relive that moment. “I was stupid and said that it didn’t change anything between us, I still hated him and was going to kill him someday, I told him I did it because I know how he felt… And yet, he returned the favor when I had one the next night. I clung to him like a drowning cat. He let me and I could’ve sworn he kissed the top of my head too… I fell asleep in his arms that night.” I shiver at the memory. “We haven’t mentioned it since and it’s never happened again.”

Fiona is quiet for a long time before finally speaking up. “Well then, you should try.”


	4. Four - You Kiss Boys, I Kiss Boys Too

#  Simon

Baz doesn’t reply at all. But, he’s been posting pictures like crazy on his story. I may sound utterly obsessed with him but I swear I’m not. I went for a walk to the lake and even swam for a bit. It got dark before I went back home.

Now, I’m laying in bed watching through everybody’s stories and Baz’s is longer than normal.

A picture of him and a woman in front of a Panda Express,  _ Date? _

The next is a video of the woman throwing a noodle at him,  _ I should kill her _

Then a hand on his knee, fingernails painted maroon,  _ Stop making me cry, Fiona _

Another with one of his greenish-blue/grey eyes, they’re lightly red and it looks like he’s been crying,  _ This is her fault, I am a strong man. _

Then, the grass, his fancy, super expensive-looking shoes atop it,  _ I think I’ll go on an adventure. _

And the final one was of a blackening sky, bruise-colored with stars peeking through and a rainbow cutting across the sky,  _ I think it the world is telling me that I’ll be alright. _

I can almost hear him say that, a little sigh in his words. It’s something he would say out loud to himself while he would be writing something on his bed or reading a book. 

I flick up and reply. A picture of the stars from my roof,  **Feelings aren’t reciprocated, huh?**

It takes a moment to get any answer.

It’s his bloodshot eyes. I gasp at how beautiful the picture is. His eyes almost don’t look grey at all,  _ What are you talking about, Snow? _

My brow furrows and I send my feet dangling from the edge of the roof,  **That Fiona chick, isn’t that the girl you like? Did she tell you no?**

He answers impossibly fast with a blurred picture of the trees,  _ Alister fucking Crowley, Snow! That’s my aunt! _

I kind of want to punch myself in the face as hard as I can.

I just change the subject.

A picture of my legs as I’m standing up to go back inside, The stars are gorgeous tonight…

I slip back inside and flop onto my bed, it creaks under my weight. I run my hands over my sheets to smooth them out. I’m tired but now I’m talking to Baz so I can’t sleep.

My phone lights up and I open the new Snapchat from Baz. It’s the sky with the stars like spilled golden glitter,  _ But, no, Snow, the person I ‘like’ doesn’t feel the same. _

I blink blankly at the text. He actually answered my question. 

I’m a little shocked and take a little longer than normal to answer him. I reply with a picture of my legs propped against the wall,  **You were rejected? Seriously? Never thought I’d see you get rejected by any girl Baz.**

I toss my phone down and stare at the ceiling and frown. It’s boring. 

I lean over and fish my wand out from under my bed. I’ve been able to control my magic since my mom gave me my father’s old wand. I’ve never met him but my mom says he was a great guy until he lost his mind.

I point it at the ceiling and begin mumbling  _ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star _ under my breath. I so this a lot when I’m alone and sit in my space bubble until the magic fades. If you finish the whole rhyme, the spell sticks for a solid thirty minutes. It’s like one of those timed nightlights.

The universe revolves around me clearly once I finish. I decide to send a video of it to Baz.

I move my phone around slowly to let him absorb the look of the planets orbiting around me,  _ “Since you love the stars, you can have them all.” _

My voice is merely a whisper in the background.

I get a video in reply about ten minutes later it’s pointed to the sky but it’s so close to him that I can hear him breathing,  _ “Thank you, Snow. But, I can’t have the only  _

_ star I want…” _

I’ve never heard Baz speak in such a soft manner, calm and kind.

I send a picture of Pluto floating past,  **Why not?**

He answers fast, another picture of the sky and tops of trees,  _ It’s not mine. _

He gets a photo of another planet floating past,  **Make it yours then. Nothing’s ever stopped you before.**

He doesn’t reply instantly this time, so, I go back to being in space. My hand reaches for a star but passes through it. It would be really amazing if I could steal the stars straight from the sky. Baz would make me teach him the spell I bet, he would want to take all of the stars, every one of them.

I grin and grab my wand again.  **_“Float like a butterfly!”_ ** I cast and levitate into the air. I love this. Crowley, I love space and I love the stars and the planets. I wish I could stay here.

I take a picture of my forehead, floating throughout the galaxy,  **_I want to live with the stars._ **

And I post it on my story.

Baz replies then, another stars picture,  _ This is the one falling star that I’ll never catch, Snow. _

I can tell that he’s talking about the one he loves. He seems to be head over heels and that’s something bafflingly new to me. I couldn’t picture him in love, it makes no sense to me. Baz never makes sense actually.

I send a close up picture of a star bobbing by,  **Baz, do you love her?**

He opens it and doesn’t reply. I frown and toss my phone away, it floats to the other end of the room. I’d made my bedroom into pretty much a no gravity bubble, that was always fun.

I do laps around the circle of planets as if I were swimming. This is the only exercise that I get, so, it’s worth it. 

But, the thing that bothers me is that all of it reminds me of goddamn Baz and it’s not even in a bad way and it pisses me off. It makes me  _ smile _ . I hate Baz, I shouldn’t be smiling over the stupid stars reminding me of that stupid bastard.

My fingers rake through my curls as I stop my swimming motions, slamming hard into the wall. I hiss and cuss under my breath as I push myself away from the wall, just in time for the spell to wear off and for me to hit the floor, the illusion of space whirling away. I groan as I lay on my back.

My phone hits me on the chest a second later.

I have a new message from Baz from only a minute ago.

It's of his eyes again,  **_I do love him._ **

#  Baz

Sending that Snapchat made my nausea worse. I'd been so fucking sick since I got the message about gays being gross from Simon. I hadn't eaten anything at all today and don't think I could even if I wanted to. 

I love him and he keeps sending me pictures of space and stars. He's so oblivious and stupid and it all just makes me want to kiss him.

And then I remember he's homophobic. 

I feel a tear pull down my cheek. It almost feels like it's burning in a permanent streak, printing his name into my skin. Searing the word 'Gay’ into the greyness that I am.

Simon Snow hates everything about me.

It's official.

Why the hell is he even talking to me?

I just want to hold him for some reason. I want to take his hand in mine and I want to kiss the side of his face. 

Right now I want to wake up and be back in our Watford rooms with his arms around me. I want to be back in the happiest moment of my entire life. 

I want to be there because I don't see any future for me now.

Especially not one with him.

I shudder at the thought.

**_Snapchat from_ ** _ My Beautiful Simon _

I take my phone and I stare at his name for a long time. I stare at it until the words hold no meaning and every meaning all at once and I let myself cry again because today fucking sucks and vampires are allowed to cry whenever the hell they please, okay?

I tap the red block and my screen flickers his beautiful blue eyes at me. His eyelashes are so long and beautiful.

So full of life.

And his stupid cheeks, covered in blotchy freckles and a mole under his left eye, another on the corner of his left eye and yet another at the end of his right eyebrow.

So many more. I want to count every marking on his skin and then kiss every single one.

**_Finally, we have something in common._ **

I screenshot because I'm weak and he's beautiful.

I reply with a picture of my hand splayed in the air above me, hanging where the moon was and the stars cluttered around it,  _ What do you mean? We have nothing in common. _

My phone is discarded off to the side and my hand falls to my chest, resting over my heart.

I can feel it pumping, thudding against my hollow chest. I can't even explain how it's possible for me to be dead when my heart is beating still or when I'm still breathing and thinking. 

How am I alive?

Why am I alive?

I wish Mom took me with her that day.

The screen lights and I grab it.

It's of his eyes again but their closed this time and he's so pale that I can see the veins in his eyelids. 

**_You kiss boys, I kiss boys too._ **

I feel my stomach light aflame with butterflies.

I screenshot that so fast.

He gets a picture of my eyes, big and bright this time, _Simon Snow is gay?_ _Words I never thought I'd ever hear._

He's fast to reply this time. Only one eye in this picture, it's the whole right side of his face, one cheek puffed out with a small smirk playing at his lips, his eye flicked to the side and his hair tousled and messy as always,  **Bisexual***

And I get another before I can reply. It's of his neck and a small piece of collarbone that nearly causes a problem for me,  **Fuck, why did I tell you that? Shit. You can't tell anybody Baz, you can't tell a n y b o d y .**

My heart is beating hard in my ears as another one rolls in, one big eyes, brimmed with tears,  **Dear god, Baz. I know you screenshotted all that stuff to use against me but please for the love of Crowley, please, don't.**

I swallow hard. He is really shaken about telling me.

I reply with a picture of my mouth and part of my neck,  _ I may be an asshole but I would never out anybody. I know that stings. Do you have any specific reason you can't? _

He sends me a picture of his wall,  **Just afraid. Thanks Baz…**

I send a reply with my sleepy eyes, half-lidded and hair in my face, a smile running over my lips,  _ Sleep well, Snow. _


	5. Your Smile Fucks Me Up

#  Simon

Baz and I talk every day, even if it’s simple night-time star pictures, we talk. It feels weird to have a conversation that doesn’t include me spitting rage and going off and him sneering and insisting that he’s not a vampire.

We  _ really  _ talk and have deep conversations at times. 

Neither of us have brought up the  _ ‘gay topic’ _ since we came out to each other. Honestly, when he told me he liked guys it was the only thing about him that has ever made any sense to me. It, of course, shocked me to the core. I mean, he spent our whole childhood chasing Agatha and attempting to seal her right out from under me. 

It kind of makes me wonder why he did it. Probably to get under my skin. (And possibly to hide his queerness).

**_Snapchat from_ ** _ King Baz. _

I bite my lip to suppress a smile. I never could have believed that I would be excited to speak my nemesis, but here I am, awaiting every conversation with this stupid, half-dead man that I’ve hated all my life.

I open it and find green eyes staring back at me,  _ Snooooow _

I would never let him know that I enjoyed this. I would never tell him that I waited for each and every message to come in and held my breath between them.

I liked this better than fighting.

I reply with the side of my face, I was still half-asleep and had drool dried to my face,  **Whatttt?**

I roll out of bed as it’s past one. I hate mornings and from what I can tell, Baz loves them. Opposites.

He sends one back a bit later, it’s of his room, clothes strewn about it,  _ Help, what spell will fix this so I don’t have to actually do it myself :( _

I laugh and start recording as I lay on my couch and clean,  **“Rubity, Scrubity, Sweepity, Floo.”** I let everything whip about my room. I found this spell after watching the Sorcerer and the Stone with Charlotte when she was young. 

I put the caption,  **Can’t believe you of all people have such a messy room.**

He sends a video of all the things in his room flying around into their place and then it flips to show his wide-eyed, shocked face.

I can’t help laughing and I let the video loop over and over. Baz is quite a child, but he’s charming. It’s not hard to see what others see in him.

I notice in the end, his mouth is agape and he doesn’t even bother to hide his pointed fangs. His guard is down for once and it’s revealing.

And for once, I’m not stressing over him plotting.

That is until I open the next video he’d sent, it’s him laid back, laughing and smiling, his eyes crinkled in the corners as he attempts to sputter some sort of question.

My chest tightens at the sight of this. He put a caption in attempt to clarify what he was trying to say,  _ How did you even come up with this spell? Everything is dancing into place! _

There’s a pull in my stomach as I watch the video back (more than just once or twice). I’ve never heard Baz laugh before. It’s sweet and boysterous, it echos and is so much more lovely than normal. It’s light and full of life unlike his normal voice when he’s cussing at me and insulting me.

His laugh  _ does  _ something to me.

He’s  _ definitely  _ plotting.

He’s doing this on purpose, it’s to throw me off. I chew the inside of my lip as it continues playing.

I screen-record it, I just need proof that this even happened. I haven’t even seen him  _ smile  _ in all the years I’ve known him.

I’m in the middle of still staring at this video when my window is flung open and Penny swoops in, reminding me of a witch on a broomstick as she hits the floor.

I have never exited out of a video faster in my life.

“Penny!” I gasp as I toss my phone away. It lands face up on the bed, a third video from Baz beginning to play.

_ “Snow! You’re not being very helpful! How do I make this damned spell stop!?” _ He giggles like a young child

My face flushes and Penny’s head snaps up.

“What the fuck is this?” She reaches for my phone and I catch it first, shutting the screen off and sitting on it.

“Nothing.” I reply and give her an innocent smile that isn't very innocent at all.

“ _ Simon _ .” She hisses my name and I flinch.

“ _ Penny _ .” I reply with a frown.

“Are you talking to  _ Baz _ ?” She's fuming, I can tell. “Oh my god, you've been ignoring me to talk to him haven't you!?”

“Merlin! No! Penny, I would never do that. I've really been busy! My mom's been dragging Cherry and I around places, trying to get us out of the house!” I protest. “You've seen my story! I've just been too tired to go out,” I pout. “And I'm sorry.”

“Simon, don't you dare lie to me.”

“Lord, Pen. What else can I do to prove to you that I'm not lying?” I huff at her. I know that this will end poorly but she'll stay mad at me forever if I don't give her proof that I really haven't been ignoring her. I really haven't. Baz and I only talk when everything's done, when the day is over and his stars are hung above our head on strings by the aliens.

“Prove to me you're not talking to Baz.” 

Shit.

“I-...” I pluck nervously at a frayed hem on my blanket. “You know, I-... Well, I, uh… Um. You see-”

“What a jerk!” She snaps at me and balls her fists in her lap like she may hit me. “You can't even give me proof that you aren't replacing me. What a goddamn nit.” She looks like she may cry.

I touch her hand. “I have been talking with Baz but he isn't replacing you. We just talk about stars and stuff. It's nothing serious, Pen.”

“If it's nothing serious, why haven't you told me about it already?” She stares at my hand on hers.

“Because, you would just tell me this was all a bad idea.” 

“Well it is. Can you just show me it? Please.”

I relent and show her his contact. Penny's mouth rounds into an 'o’ shape as she grabs it from my hand.

“Simon, you and him are B-F-F’s.” She ogles my phone.

“Huh?” I let my brow furrow.

“You and him have a seventeen day streak and you're mutual B-F-F’s so that means you send the most amount of snaps to each other.” 

#  Baz

Simon stopped replying to me. I was starting to feel horrendously desperate, checking every few moments to see if he sent anything back. He’d opened three of them? Why did he stop?

Crowley, I need to give this up.

Simon Snow does not love me.

Simon Snow can and will do better than me.

I need to give it up.

I press my hands over my face as I lay out on my couch and scream into my hands, “Goddamnit Snow!” I shout and a book flies across the room. Occasionally my frustration and anger causes my magic to get wonky. 

I growl to myself and rub furiously at my eyes to force the oncoming flow of tears away. I truly was a mess, I mean, I totally get why Snow doesn’t want me.

I am a complete wreck.

**_Snapchat from_ ** _ My Beautiful Simon _

I light up and open it instantly. It’s of the top part of his head, his eyes wide,  **Uh-oh, Penny knows…**

I swallow harshly. Of course he told her. I bet he’ll stop talking to me because she thinks this is bad, that  _ I’m _ bad.

I would never hurt Snow.

If only she knew.

I send a picture of the wall so that I can hide the hurt on my face,  _ Oh. _

He sends a picture back seconds later of Bunce, red faced and in the middle of a lecture,  **I don’t think she knows that I’m totally not listening :)**

I think that smiley face just about gave me a heart attack. Does that mean that he’s still going to talk to me? 

Before I can really think it through and jump to conclutions, I get a video from him,  **_“Christ, Simon! If he’s so evil why the hell are you talking to him!? I demand you stop talking to him!”_ ** Bunce is yelling and I can hear him giggling.

**She thinks she’s my mom!**

Why does he do this to me? I don’t know what the hell he means by that. 

It’s almost as though he read my mind when I open his last snap, it’s of his forehead,  **BTW, I’m not going to stop talking to you ~**

My heart vaults, leaping into my throat.

I send a picture of my neck,  _ Wow, Simon Snow not obeying Penelope Bunce… I’ve never seen anything stranger. _


	6. Six - The Bastard Is Plotting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as reference GFS means great fucking snakes, kinda like JFC

#  Simon

I wake trembling but I feel like I’m on fire, ice-cold fire. At first I think I had a nightmare and I was about to go off, but I realize that there’s no panic in me. My magic is flowing over my skin like sweat and my stomach won’t sit still. I feel vaguely like the time Penny and I got drunk off of nicked wine while her parents were away. I spent the day after that vomiting.

Right now, I feel like the day after all over again.

I roll over onto my other side, clinging the blankets closer to me and curling into myself as my stomach soundly protests to any movement. I grasp my phone and flinch as the brightness attacks me. It’s nearly four, that’s what the gigantic white numbers on the screen tell me, at least.

There’s also a snapchat message from Baz that I open even though my everything feels so shit that I’d rather be dead than deal with this.

It’s from his nose upward, his eyes turned to the sky,  _ You still up? _

I pull my knees up to my chest even more, sending a reply of my face, half in a pillow, my magic shimmering around me, silhouetting my body and making my eyes glow.

**Fucking sadly.**

I get an near immediate reply of the stars,  _ Great Fucking Snakes Snow! Why are you glowing??? _

I noticed he'd screenshotted it and I frown, my stomach turns at the thought of him having pictures of me on his phone and I flush thinking of all the ones of him I had on my own.

I send almost the same picture as before,  **Merlin, I feel like I'm dying. And I glow when I'm sick, my magic doesn't know what to do other than drain out of me.**

 I try to fall back to sleep but it just doesn’t work. I close my eyes but everything feels too hot and my throat is too tight, my nose is too stuffed. I can’t breathe, I feel like there’s a snake in my abdomen that won’t stay still and my limbs ache, my chest aches, everything just hurts.

My head is throbbing like an open-wound which is not helping any of this.

I again pull my blankets closer, shivering like a wet dog in mid-winter. I want to squirm around on my bed and find somewhere to be comfortable but I don’t trust the feeling I have in me to move even the slightest.

A new snapchat from Baz pops up and I open it. It’s his profile as he lays in the grass, his hair spread like dark waves over the ground.

_ You’re ill? How badly? _

I then cough so hard that I think for a solid minute that I cracked a rib or two. I send another terrible picture of my sick face which is now covered mostly with my blanket,  **I think that being stabbed to death by a very, very dull spoon would be much more enjoyable than this.**

I get a close up of his eye in response,  _ I don’t get sick, I’m not sure how much it sucks but it sounds awful… I hope you don’t feel that bad for too long :( _

My brain is broken and not awake enough to be concerned with how kind he’s being to me. Another picture of the same thing from me,  **It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the nausea :(**

Just as I send that, I shift and my stomach churns in response. I sit bolt upright, hopeing that the horrid feeling will pass. Though, it doesn’t and I end up laying on my bathroom floor with no energy to get up. 

The floor is like ice and I’m shaking so goddamn hard that I feel like I’ve run a mile with the way that I can’t catch my breath. I start to doze off where I am, my fever getting the better of me. 

That is until I hear a loud bang from outside and shoot up, thankfully, this time, my dinner doesn’t come back up.

I struggle to pull myself to my feet, in such a haze that I don’t even realize that I’d stumbled my way to the sink and begun cleaning up. “Fuck…” I breathe, hiccuping and almost heaving again. 

I take several shallow breaths to calm myself before brushing my teeth. My mouth still tastes like utter poison when I’ve finished. I hate this more than I hate anything.

I feel like I’m dying and just thinking of making my way back to my bedroom makes my knees weak. I could collapse right here, the violent trembling is making it even easier just to fall to the floor and not get up.

Though, I’m so cold that I am willing to make the trip - a whole ten foot walk - back to my room if it means I’ll get to find some kind of warmth.

I shuffle towards the door and find I’m winded after only two-and-a-half steps. I feel really pathetic with that thought and tug the door open lamely. I attempt to get back to my room as a dizzy-spell hits me and I pitch right into the wall, leaning there and catching my breath, slumped over and my magic sizzling on my body. My shirt is stuck to my skin with sweat also. 

This really sucks.

I manage to slide along the wall to my room, pushing the door open and tripping into my bed. I pull the covers up over me and hug them against my body. 

Once I settle in, my phone buzzes with a new message from Baz. Several actually.

The first is of his chin and neck,  _ Not sure how terrible it is… I don’t get sick but is there any spell to help? Anything that I could do? _

The next is one of his big green-grey eyes,  _ Snow? Did you fall asleep? _

The last one is of the stars again,  _ Are you alright? You’re worrying me with your sudden disappearance. I’m the only one allowed to kill you, Snow. _

A weak laugh rumbles in my chest and my eyes droop.

I’m shaking too hard to type anything back so I just record my scratchy, sick voice,  **“Why are you being so nice, Baz? You’re plotting.”** The screen is black other than my glowing magic and a small sliver of my face and hair.

He replies instantaneously, his black hair flowing in the grass,  _ GFS you worried me, you took so long to answer!! But, I’m just trying to be nice, Snow. It’s like a law or something that you can’t be mean to the ill. _

I actually chuckle a little at that.

I record a video, the same way as before,  **“No, you’re plotting.”** I croak out and hit send.

He responds quickly again, it’s of his throat, Adam’s apple prominent,  _ Maybe I am. _

I rub my eyes sleepily,  **“What are you plotting, Baz?”**

My eyes start to close and my skin begins burning, as if I’m on fire, I’m so warm and it feels awful. I cough again, hard and forceful and I nearly throw up.

Baz sends another message after about thirty minutes, it barely feels like five to me. I assume that I fell asleep.

It’s of the sky again,  _ I’m plotting all the ways that I can tell you that I’m in love with you… _

I screenshot and then promptly lose consciousness.

#  Baz

I guess I fell asleep outside last night. Snow also left me on read. I confessed my love to him after all these years and he just snapped a picture of it and never said anything back. 

I bet he's going to expose me. The sad thing is, even though I have incriminating proof that Simon Snow likes kissing boys, I would never in a million years out him to anybody. Being in love is such a weird thing because the thought of him stabbing me in the back makes me want to kill him but yet, I still know I would never spill any of the secrets he’s told me.

I’d never tell the things I’ve heard because I love him.

I would never say that Simon Snow has night-terrors or that he likes to kiss boys. I wouldn’t tell anybody that Simon Snow couldn’t read when we first met, nor would anybody hear that he writes his nightmares in a journal. My lips couldn’t ever bring to light that he has severe anxiety attacks and I couldn’t ever say that Simon Snow used to hide under his bed during storms. I also would never tell a soul that I’ve laid awake at night for the past seven years listening to Simon Snow sobbing and begging for his mother, crying to be held. Nobody would know that every night it happened, I let Simon Snow hold my hand until he fell asleep.

Nobody would know that I am madly in love with beautiful Simon Snow.

A cool breeze blows over me and I’m damp, a shiver snapping me from my thoughts. I sluggishly pry myself from the ground and shuffle back to my house. Everything hurts so badly.

I wonder if this is how Snow feels?

If so, I feel horrible for him.

Daphne is in the kitchen making breakfast when I finally enter, startling her. “Merlin and Morgana, Basil! You scared the hell out of me!” She gasps dramatically.

“Sorry.” I grunt at her and slide out of the room. I needed a hot shower and some Fiona to feel better. She always knew what to do when I wasn’t feeling myself.

I decide on a bath by the time I get up there. A long bath and an Aunt-Date with Fiona. The perfect plan for a shitty day.

I turn the water on and plug the drain, sitting on the floor and watching is fill, my elbows leaned against the cold porcelain edge of the bath. My chest stings and I just hope that maybe watching the water run will calm me and rid the stabbing in my torso. 

I run my fingers through the water, causing more ripples to bounce around. There’s a tug in my stomach as I think about how it reminds me of Snow’s eyes. I forcibly swallow the lump in my throat.

I sit a while longer, just letting the water pool inside the basin, only reacting when I have to shut the water off and strip to nothing.

Sliding into the water is like touching fire, like touching Simon. It burns but I crave it. I slip down until only my chin and up is stuck out of the water, my hair floating close to my face and sticking to my skin.

My phone lights after a bit of laying here. I sling my arm out and open it.

Simon.

His eyes, bloodshot and red with bags so dark they could pass as bruises frame them,  **Morning. I feel shitty and honestly don’t remember much of last night.**

I reply with a picture of my feet pressed to the bath wall,  _ Morning. It’s fine. Feeling any better? _

Another picture of his eyes,  **Haven’t thrown up yet… That’s a plus… Super dizzy and nauseous tho :(**

And I get another promptly after, his hand covering his face,  **You alright? You seem off.**

I let out a very Snow-like growl. I tried not to show my face so he couldn’t catch on. He gets a picture of my collar bone, my wet hair dripping down it like a toxic waterfall, _ Fine, Snow. It’s nothing. _

I’m bitter when I shouldn’t be. Simon is ill, he shouldn’t have to deal with my shit right now and I feel _ bad _ because I  _ suck _ .

I groan and press my hands to my face, rubbing water against skin to try and snap myself out of this jealous-girlfriend-act. 

Snow replies with a picture of his bare stomach down to his feet, pale skin flushed in the light of the sun that’s streaming in from a window nearby,  **I said something stupid last night, didn’t I?**

My heart sinks. Now I’ve made him feel bad. Stupid.

I smack my forehead and wince.

Wait, why would he feel bad? We’re enemies and he hates me. Why the hell would he even care?

A picture of the wall,  _ No but why are you so concerned? _

I get another from his stomach down, now he’s laid in a slightly more awkward position and I can see that he’s drenched in sweat and magic. Poor thing.

**I’m not. I just thought I told you something that made you mad is all?**

Absolutely oblivious, that boy. 

I send a reply of my hand splayed out over the water,  _ You didn’t but, my question was, why does that bother you? _

#  Simon

Why  _ does _ it bother me? Why the hell would I feel bad for being rude to my enemy? I don’t even think I can consider him my enemy anymore with how often we talk and have pleasant conversations.

I send him my lower half in reply,  **Don’t want to ruin whatever it is we have going here lmao**

I get an answer in seconds. He’s smiling in the picture, his eyes closed and he looks absolutely stunning, his damp hair is floating in the water, looking like it’s some kind of magic and the droplets on his skin sparkle like stars on his face. Man, I am jealous of his collar bones.

_ What ~do~ we have going on here, Snow? _

I swallow forcefully before screenshotting that image. 

Crowley, I can even see his fangs. It’s like he’s not even  _ trying _ to hide them. The bastard. He’s definitely plotting something. I can tell by the tightness in my chest and the knots in my stomach that I get when he sends me these stupid things.

The absolute, glorious  _ bastard _ .


	7. I think I-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took forever to write this, I'm sorryyy!! I had to finish my thesis paper on serial killers!! But here it is and I hopenit was worth the wait!!!

#  Baz

Fiona is a bit too eager to take me out. I think that she just wants to gossip more about Snow. I haven’t been keeping her updated on any of this because I’d rather talk about it than text and Fiona seems to only like texting.

Sitting on my stairs waiting for her to get here, Snow and I keep messaging. He looks utterly miserable and I slightly want to impulse-drive to his house and kiss him until he feels better. I have approximately zero impulse control and probably would if Fiona wasn’t on her way over. I’m driven by fear, spite and impulse and I’m pretty sure that this is the only reason I’m not fully dead yet and also the reason that I haven’t told Simon that I’m in love with him.

I get a picture of Simon’s legs, bare and sprawled out, I also catch a glimpse of the bottom of his bare ass,   **Where are you going?**

I chuckle and send a picture of my driveway,  _ With Fiona, out to eat. I’ve had a weird day and she's my go to to feel better _

Fiona pulls up, leaning on the horn as soon as I’m able to see him, leaning her head out of the window, “Get in bitch!” She yells at me and my eyes nearly roll into the back of my head.

Why had I thought that this was a good idea? 

I stand and brush my pants off, leisurely waltzing over to her as she screeches to a halt. Sometimes she was the absolute worst driver.

“They should take away your license.” I comment as I slip into the passenger seat. 

“Shut it, Basil, I'm driving you around so you shouldn't be complaining.” She retorts, getting an eye roll from me.

“You were the most excited about this,” I groan. “Remind me again why I even asked you to bring me out?”

“To tell me about your love life!” She cheers and my eyes roll again.

“It’s not a love life if it’s not reciprocated, Fiona.” I huff and flick my eyes upward.

“Oh, Baz… Did he reject you?” She frowns just as he replies to my previous Snapchat. I ignore her and open the message. His face is pale and eyes are puffy and red as well as his nose. He looks so cute, it’s ridiculous,  **That’s really sweet Baz, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said! What’s bothering you btw? You alright?**

Merlin, I love him.

“Baz.” Fiona speaks and I jump, having forgotten she asked me a question.

“No.” I answer as I snap a picture of the side of my face,  _ She’s a pain in my ass, especially about the love of my life haha. But, I’m alright. I just confessed my love at a bad time and I’m bummed out. _

“Oh my god, Baz are you talking to him right now!” She gasps excitedly and I blush.

“Yeah, a little bit.” I murmur.

“What’s happening!?” She squeaks and I groan at her enthusiasm.

“Nothing much, he’s sick as hell and doesn’t remember me telling him that I’m in love with him last night in his fevered haze.” I mutter and clench my jaw. My chest hurts at the thought.

“Oh…” Her excitement fades. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s whatever, I know he’ll never love me back even though he told me that he ‘likes kissing boys’.” I use air quotes to quote Simon’s Snapchat that crumbled everything I knew around me.

“Whoa! Wait, Simon’s gay?” Fiona gapes as she pulls around a corner.

“Bi.” I correct.

“Damn, Baz. You got a chance still.” She’s grinning obnoxiously.

“I do not,” I huff at her. “Where are we going anyway? I swear to Morgana if you are bringing me to-” 

“Baz, shut your mouth, were not going to Panda Express.” She rolls her eyes this time.

“Then where are we going?” I scowl.

Fiona looks my way, her eyes sparkling and big. “Baz, I'm bringing you to meet my boyfriend.” Her smile is huge and I swear that I haven't seen her smile like that since my mom died.

“Boyfriend? Man, Fee, I was beginning to think that you were a lesbian! You haven't dated in years,” I elbow her lightly, “Who's the lucky guy?” 

“He's a friend from my Watford years, his name is Nico.” She's beaming.

“He must make you really happy.” I give a forced smile in reply. Even  _ Fiona _ found somebody and I can't.

“He does. Your mother never seemed to like him but him and I have always been close. Ebb was also pretty cool, she was around us a lot.” She rambles and my jaw drops at the name Ebb.

“The  _ goatherd _ ?” I croak.

“Yeah! She's really powerful! She used to sneak us out all the time! After Nico crossed over though… Well, she kind of regressed into herself. Haven't seen her in forever.” Fiona's mouth cocks sideways.

“Crossed over?” I ask and she seems to jump, not realizing that she had let something slip.

“Uh…” She starts to laugh a little. “Well, you see, Nico crossed to the vampires. Only recently the world of mages started allowing-”

“He  _ willingly _ crossed!?” I yell, enraged by the idea. “He fucking  _ willingly  _ became a vampire?! Are you fucking-"

“Baz!” Fiona shouts at me as I fume. “Listen, Nico is actually a good guy. He's a good person. He just wanted to live forever…” 

I grit my teeth. Who the hell wants to be this for the fun of it? I would give up my immortality in a heartbeat if I could just be normal again. “He’s a fucking coward. I don’t want to meet him.” I hiss and check my phone to find a new message from Snow.

There’s a picture of him with tissues shoved up his nose,  **Awe, Baz ;( how’d you do it?**

It takes a moment for me to remember what he was talking about. I reply with a  picture of my wide eyes,  _ Snapchat of the stars… Fiona is driving me mental and I’m about to commit either homicide or suicide, haven’t decided which would work best yet. _

I didn’t hear her answer but I’m sure that we’re still going to meet him anyway. I was angry over it all and beyond frustrated.

My mouth dips into a deeper frown as I think about Simon. “How is any of this even fair?” I press my face into my hands suddenly. “Why is everybody but me happy?” I refuse to let myself start crying again. “God, I just want to fucking die. I wish Mum had killed me like those other bastards.”

I don’t look up to see Fiona’s reaction. 

I don’t think I could handle it.

#  Simon

I feel like I am slowly dying and right now, I would love it if Baz came and slaughtered me on the spot. Now with this weird friend thing going on, I’m not so sure that he would and that sucks.

He sent a reply to my Snapchat  and I haven’t had the energy to answer him but I did laugh so that’s a plus. Even though it made my stomach, chest and head hurt more than they already had. I decide to finally reply with a picture of a my face pressed to the bathroom floor,  **Can that homicide involve me or…?**

Baz gets back to me immediately, it’s one half of his face and it looks as though he’s crying,  _ I decided suicide is my best option. _

That rises a flare of panic in my chest. If he hadn’t looked so pained then I probably wouldn’t have had a second thought on it. I sit upright and the room spins, almost causing me to vomit again. I don’t think I even could at this point.

I tip and grab onto the bathtub, sliding over to use it as support for my decaying body. I reply with a picture of myself with my eyes closed,  **Baz, are you alright?**

There’s a knock on the bathroom door and I don’t answer, too tired to deal with anybody. The knocking persists and I let out a ‘go away’ that sounded more like a garbled-up-groan. I hear a soft voice from the other side of the door but I can’t make out who it belongs to.  **_“We are now open for business!”_ **

The door swings open and Charlotte is standing in the doorway, her wand raised in her hand. “I’ve been waiting like and hour to-” She stops short as she finds me, slumped sideways and near death. “Christ, Simon.” She crouches before me, sitting on my knees as she grabs my face in her cold hands.

“Stop,” I shiver.

“Look at me,” She insists and I force myself to meet her gaze, it takes more effort than I’d hoped it to. “Fucking-hell, Simon…” She whispers and I don’t even have the energy to scold her. “You’re burning, Crowley.” 

“I’ll be fine.” My words come out a slow drawl.

She frowns and presses a hand to my forehead. “Mom!” She yells so loud that I flinch and whack my head off the edge of the tub.

“Fuck…” I hiss and move a hand to cradle the throbbing piece of my head.

Our mother dashes upstairs and calls for us and Charlotte calls her much quieter this time. When Mum gets to the room she freezes at the sight in utter confusion. “What’s going on?” 

“Simon’s burning up, like, really bad.” She frowns, as does Mum and she kneels next to me. I really hated this, I hated all the attention I got when I was ill. Back in the orphanage, if I was sick, I took care of myself and was left alone.

“I can handle myself.” I try to push Charlotte off of me to no avail.

Mum presses a hand to my head and makes that  _ tsst  _ sound between her teeth. “Simon, baby, you’re burning up,” She stands and get’s a cloth, wetting it before she kneels again, pressing the ice cold rag to my forehead. I immediately begin to shake, I was already freezing before, I don’t want this. “How long have you had this fever?”

I struggled against my mother and sister in attempt to break free but it’s more like I’m a limp noodle trying to get free of an unopenable box. “I dunno just let go of me.” I whine, for some reason, on the verge of tears.

“Simon, sweetheart, calm down,” She pulls the cloth away. “Let’s get you in bed.”

The pair of them hoist me to my feet, basically carrying me to my bed and getting me comfortable. I sink into the mattress and wait for them to leave before opening the messages from Baz.

There’s a few and they’re mostly videos.

The first is a picture of his face pressed to the window of his aunt’s car,  _ No, not at all. _

Then there’s a string of videos and they’re of him sitting on the ground, overlooking a pond,  _ “I wish I were fucking dead, I wish my mum took me with her that day. I just don’t seem to fit in here.”  _ The next video starts and it’s the same thing,  _ “Christ, Snow… Everything sucks. Fiona has a shitty vampire-boyfriend that crossed just because he wants to live fucking forever, which is bullshit. And-... And-”  _ It lapses into the next,  _ “I can’t eat because of the things he says to me, they make me a mess and my stomach hasn’t been right for days and I haven’t-”  _ Baz shifts positions and his phone is now facing his leg that are splayed out before him,  _ “slept well in so goddamned long because my night terrors are coming back so bad that once I wake up I’m too terrified to close my eyes again…”  _

Another video loads and he’s standing by the water,  _ “Why can’t I just say ‘I’m so in love with you’ and get this over with. Why couldn’t I just end it all, right here?” _

Panic bubbles in my body and I can feel my pulse in my veins, I record a video facing my wall,  **“Because Baz, I care about you and I want you to live. Even if he doesn’t love you now, you said it was just bad timing. Say it again but not just yet.”**

I get another video response a long while after,  _ “God, Snow. Why does any of that matter? I’m not good enough. I’m just going to set a fire and end it all.” _

**“Baz, listen to me. I will be there in a heartbeat if you just tell me where you are. I don’t want you to die.”** I answer with my trembling hands pointing the camera at the same place as before.

I get a reply and Baz is showing his face, he’s been crying and still looks hysterical, his cheeks and eyes and nose are red and he looks frustrated,  _ “Why? So you can kill me yourself? Come kill me now, then. Put me out of my misery like an old dog.” _

My chest it tight and I almost want to cry too,  **“I don’t want to kill you! I like whatever the hell this is, us, enemies, not being enemies! Baz, please, I don’t want you to die.”** I beg as my voice wavers.

I get a video from him again and he’s sobbing, sat sloppily on the ground and he’s soaked, shivering and panting,  _ “Simon, think logically okay? Just for once. I-...”  _ He shakes his head.  _ “Forget it. It’s done, I’m done.” _

I shakily pull myself to my feet and nearly collapse, recording a video in attempt to keep him calm until I could find him,  **“Merlin, Baz, just-... Just stay where you are, please, I’m on my way, I’ll figure something out.”** Before I can stop recording it catches me collapsing to the floor. I send it anyway and stumble to my feet. It takes a few tries and most of my energy.

Charlotte comes in just as I reach my dresser to find a shirt.

“Simon! What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” She gasps and grabs my arm to pull me back to bed.

“No!” I cry as I weakly try to free myself. “Cherry, please, no! I need to get to Baz! Let go!” I insist and she forces me back to the mattress, I let out a sob and realize I’m crying.

“Mom!” She calls, “Mom! I think he had a terror!” She yells and Mum rushes through the door.

“Simon sweetheart, what are you doing? What happened?” 

“It’s not a nightmare!” I shout, “I need to help Baz! I need to go!” I continue to struggle to get free, knowing that I wasn’t winning.

“Baz? The Pitch boy?” Charlotte furrows a brow. “You hate him.”

“I’ve been talking to him a lot and he’s threatening suicide, I- I… I need to help him!” I bawl. “Let me go, please!” I hiccup and my mother pulls me into her. “No!” I sob harder.

“Honey, he’ll be fine.”

“He’s not!” I whimper and grasp for my phone that’s laid in the middle of the room. A thought hits me suddenly and I let out another cry. “What if he’s already dead?” And my heart drops to my stomach.

Charlotte gets my phone and opens the message from Baz,  _ “Don’t bother, Snow, there’s no point. You will never be my hero because you don’t care about me. All you want is to end me yourself.” _

#  Charlotte

Hearing what he says, sends a chill down my spine and Simon lets out another sob, it’s so hard that I swear that I felt it myself.

I record a video of the scene before me,  **“Let me go! He’s going to do it Mum! Can’t you tell!”** And then he crumples into sobs and when he speaks again, it’s barely a whisper  **“I think I-”** His voice falls.

**If you really don’t think he cares, you’re an idiot.** I type on the screen and hit send.

“I think I love him.” 

  
  



	8. Baby

#  Baz

Hearing Simon sobbing made my heart seize.  _ I _ caused that. This is all my fault, I hurt Simon. Since when do I  _ not _ hurt him. 

Why the hell does he even care if I die? He’d be happy for once!

I reply and my voice is meak,  _ “Christ, Snow, you could be happy… Why do you care if I live?” _

I stand and know I can’t go through with it now. Now that I saw him hysterically crying and begging his mother to let him come find me, even when he looks like he’s dying, I can’t do it. 

Simon Snow is always the bloody hero to my pitiful story.

I would not be informing Fiona about my hysterical mental breakdown that I am currently still slightly having. If I don’t kill myself I don’t see a reason for anybody to have to know.

My face is sticky from crying and my eyes hurt, I just want to go home but I don’t want to go into this bar and find Fiona looking like this. I don’t want to go anywhere looking like this. Unless it’s to see Simon. Because, I love him and I just want to make him stop hurting.

I send him a picture of my shoes in the dirt,  _ I’m sorry, Snow. It’s always my fault your hurting and even though I know that it’s best if I just end it so I can stop making you hurt, I think I’ll stay and try to make things better. _

I go and sit in Fiona’s car and wait for her to come out.

#  Simon

I wake up in a cold sweat, a freezing rag pressed to my forehead as I bolt upright and it collapses to my lap. I’m panting and feel like I could throw up, looking about the room.

“Simon, honey.” The cold hand of my mother presses to my bare shoulder, easing me back to the sheets but I recoil.

“Baz! Fuck! I-... God- no! I-...” I start to fumble out of the sheets but she presses me down.  

“Here, here, calm down,” She hands me my phone and I have several messages from Baz. It doesn’t clear my panic. “You’re alright honey, you just fainted.”

“No, Baz… I need to-” I freeze as I start to regain my memory of what transpired before I collapsed.

_ “I think I love him.” _

My own voice echoes in my head. I definitely love him, and that’s not what I’m worried about.

I came out to my family in the middle of a feverish meltdown.

And I don’t know how they reacted or if they even noticed.

I shake it away and open his messages.

Both make my heart wrench so hard I think I’m having a mild heart attack. How had I never realized before that I want him. Now, looking at him, I can’t imagine how he’s single, I want him to be mine and I can’t have him because the person he loves is an idiot and can’t see how great he is. 

He gets a picture of my sick, pale, tear-stained face,  **Baz, don’t think like that. You don’t hurt me, especially not recently. Merlin, I'm sorry for everything.**

I'm in love with Basilton Pitch.

That's something I never would have believed if it came from somebody else's lips. 

“Simon, honey,” Mum touches my arm softly. “Are you gay?” She asks and my whole body reacts by flinching away from her so hard that I crash into the wall.

“No.” I snap.

“You said you loved him sweetheart.”

“No I meant as a friend! I'm not in love with a boy! I'm not gay! Mum, I dated Agatha for  _ three _ years!”

“You could have just realized… I was just asking.” 

I turn away from her. “Sorry.” I sigh.

My stomach is tight with nerves and my pulse is beating in my ears. I need rest but all I want is to talk to Baz. It’s such a weird feeling when all I’ve ever wanted is to  _ not _ talk to Baz.

I wish I had somebody to talk to about all of this shit but even Penny doesn’t know I like boys. Only Baz does. Hell, Baz knows more about me then even Penny does.

I fall back onto my bed and groan, only now realizing that my mom had left.

I pull up my photo gallery and start flicking through all the screenshots from Baz. God, he’s gorgeous. How the hell did I not see this earlier? He’s always been fucking incredibly handsome and his eyes are like green and grey and they sparkle like the goddamn stars.

It’s getting harder to keep my eyes open as I scroll. I was so exhausted but I had to look at everything, I just had to and I can’t explain why I had this need. I just did.

It takes longer than expected. I have kept so many of these messages. I don't know why Baz hasn't called me out on it. 

I'm starting to feel sick again as I near the end of all those screenshots and I just want to sleep. 

_ I’m plotting all the ways that I can tell you that I’m in love with you… _

Its stars and the sky and I know it's from Baz just from that. It's obviously from his story with that kind of ominous message scrawled across it.

My eyes won't stay open anymore and I slip away into a fevered dream.

***

_ I'm on fire. Not literally on fire but figuratively. My body  _ **_feels_ ** _ like I'm burning. Cold fingers run over my skin and I let out a shaking breath at the sensation.  _

_ I've been here before.  _

_ A nose grazes my neck and lips soon take their place, sucking at my molten skin. I whine and push against them and a hand runs under my shirt, over my stomach and up my chest. Another hand is pressed to my forehead. _

_ “You're burning.” A voice speaks. One so familiar that I can't place it. A whimper escapes me as a response. _

_ My heart is racing and I'm trembling with delight at the feeling. I roll so I can push my face to the chest of the other. Flat.  _

_ I'm with a boy, in my bed. A boy with fingers that feel so good that I could cry.  _

_ “I'm  _ **_so_ ** _ hot.” I almost beg, needing to be closer. _

_ “I know.” They say and kiss the very top of my forehead, where my hairline begins.  _

_ My magic glistens off of this boy.  _

_ I pull his shirt up, desperate to cool off and he lets me, hugging me closer and pulling my shirt upwards also. Our skin meets and I gasp. Most would believe that this was sexual but I’m desperate and this feels so good.  _

_ So, so, good. _

_ “Simon,” Speaks the boy I’m clinging to. “Darling, you’re so warm.” _

_ “I know.” I wince. _

_ Arms hold me closer, tighter. I grasp him, cold, ice cold. I press my mouth to his neck, near where it meets his chest, kissing his soothing skin. He strokes my hair. _

_ “Oh, Simon…” He hums. “You are my stars.” _

_ Baz. _

_ It clicks and I look quickly up to him. He smiles down at me. _

_ And I kiss his mouth. _

Violent vibrating, my ribcage is rattling in my chest, causing me to cough. I find my phone, it’s resting on my chest from when I dozed off. 

I answer it without caring who or what it is. “Hello?” My voice is thick and groggy with sick and sleep.

“Snow! Shit, did I wake you?” He asks and I tense. I truly didn’t expect to be speaking to him so soon after having that dream.

“Little bit.” I grumble.

“Sorry! I was just a little worried. It’s been hours since you replied to my messages.” He says genuinely and I can’t suppress a smile as I roll onto my side.

“It’s okay, what's up?” I yawn.

“I wanted to watch a movie but I don’t want to watch the ones I’ve seen a hundred times, what’s one that you like so I can watch it?”

“You woke me up from a fantastic dream for that?” I laugh softly.

“I did, what should I watch?” He persists.

“I like weird stuff but I loved The Loft…” I hum, thinking hard. “I’ll send you a list okay?”

“Alright! Thank’s Snow.” He hangs up without a goodbye.

I send him a list on Snapchat promptly after,  **_The Loft, My Friend Dahmer, Oculus, Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (Gay!!), Those People (Gay!!) IDK many others, I’m more of a book person, easier to find english-gay and not spanish!_ **

I stretch, my back arching and fingers gripping the sheets. I fan my fingers through my mattes hair, groaning slightly.

I wanted to shower but I didn’t care to risk collapsing.

Baz replies with a picture of him bearing his fangs in a huge grin,  _ Thanks again, Snow :))) I owe you! I am also very sorry for waking you, I know you feel shitty :( _

Another screenshot because I’m stupid and like torturing myself.

I reply with my nearly-dead-looking face,  **Can you show me how to pull of the whole dead-look because I look like shit and somehow you don’t?????**

#  Baz

I send him an artsy photo of a Coke-Zero can on the table in my room,  _ What are you trying to say here, Snow? _

I grin wickedly. I don’t know why but it’s fun to see him stumble when he accidentally says something close to a complement to me.

I get another picture of his face, puffy and tired looking. He looks abnormally pale,  **I’m saying that even though you’re dead and it’s totally noticeable, you still look fetching**

Get me a pillow, for, I may faint.

Simon Snow just called me  _ fetching _ . 

Lord, I’m swooning.

He gets a picture of my hysterically red face,  _ It’s taken 18 years baby ;) _

It took a lot more courage than I imagined to send that. It’s more ‘out there’ than I’d usually be. But, as a great book once said - ‘Fortune favors the flirtatious’.

I was still shaking in my boots over that message either way. I know Snow would brush it off because he’s an oblivious asshole.

_ Fetching Prince Simon took a screenshot! _

I scream.

Thankfully, nobody is around to hear me do so.

I get one of his eyes that have turned a dull blue-grey from his ill-state,  **Basilton Pitch just called me Baby. Added to the things I never thought I’d ever hear you say.**

I grin and feel my stomach light with butterflies. He gets a reply in the form of half of my beaming face,  _ I’ll say it anytime baby ;) _


	9. Away From Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle in for a long one guys (nearly 3,300 words)   
> It was supposed to be this chapter and next are the same one but this is getting lengthy and I can get probably 3 chapters out of this ;)

#  Baz

Fifty days. Simon and I have spoken every single day for fifty days straight. I don’t even think of the word ‘enemy’ when I look at him anymore. I’m in love with him and I get to be in love with him without having to try to kill him anymore. I don’t see a future where only one of us will make it out and of course, that person would be Simon because I never could kill him.

**But, Baz, cereal can’t be soup because soup has to be COOKED on the STOVE!** Snow and I have been debating the stupidest questions we could think of for the past several hours.

_ Snow, it doesn’t have to be cooked, you can eat soup cold. _ I tease and send a picture of the trail I was walking down. I had spent my whole day walking the woods near my house, it was truly relaxing for me as my house has been full of my father’s rich friends for some stupid thing he’s doing for over five days now.

It’s honestly a drag being around them. They all are leaving at some point today on some kind of retreat. I could care less about anything to do with whatever my father’s company does. I’ll never run it and I’ll never work for it, even if my life depended on it.

Simon sends a picture of his forehead and eyebrows raised high,  **You are an idiot, I refuse to believe you’re top of our class, Baz.**

I laugh at him as I reach my driveway, grinning I take a picture of the front door,  _ Bunce is* and I have returned to the prison of politics and magic. _

I start recording a video in attempt to pull the ‘what’s up fuckers’ vine in the middle of a group of dinosaur-age old men,  _ “This is how I enter my house,”  _ I start and grab the latch on the door to shove it open, expecting it to fling open, I crash into it with a loud thud,  _ “What the fuck?” _ I try a few more times and nothing, flipping the camera to myself, wide-eyed,   _ “Snow, I’m locked out.” _

I send it and call Daphne, “Baz! Hello!” She’s too cheery for my taste.

“Where are you?” I snap.

“We’re halfway to Manchester? Why?”

“You locked me out of the house and I don't have a key!” I shout and I hear her gasp.

“What now?” I hear father ask in the back. I’m honestly fuming.

“I’m stuck outside all fucking weekend!? Seriously!?” I yell. “Do you even remember I exist half the damn time!? If I ran off and killed myself you wouldn’t realize until somebody told you!” I shout as the anger that had build inside of me for the past thirteen years begins to bubble over like an unwatched pot on a stove.

“Baz, calm down! It’s okay can’t you just-”

“Fuck this! Don’t tell me what to do.” I hang up hastily and drop to the steps. My face goes into my hands as hot, angry tears spill down my face.

Snow has messaged me a few times.

A picture of the floor,  **Lmao good job!**

The same as before,  **Baz? You alright?**

And another,  **Please answer, now I’m worried.**

I grind my teeth and send a picture of my very red, angry and tear streaked face,  _ They fucking forgot about me and now I’m stuck outside with nothing for the whole weekend. _

“God-fucking-damnit! Fucking-... I can’t fucking-... Agh!” I shout in frustration and nearly throw my phone down the drive.

**_Snapchat from_ ** _ Simon Baby xx _

A picture of his steering wheel,  **I’ll be at your house soon, just send me the address, you’re staying with me for the weekend.**

I swallow.

Simon Snow is going to come see me.

I’m going to stay at Simon Snow’s  _ house _ .

Aleister Crowley, I’m living a charmed life.

***

I’m sitting on my step when he pulls up my long winding driveway. He’s in a pastel blue-grey Mini Cooper and let me just say, I’ve never laughed harder. I kind of expected a shit-box so I  _ am  _ slightly impressed.

“Stop laughing and get in, Jackass.” He pouts as he parks and my laughter is cut short by the sudden collapse of my lungs when I forget how to breathe. His cheeks are puffed out and his stupid blue eyes are full of frustration and Crowley, I can’t think.

I clear my throat after far too long and I shuffle into the passenger seat. “Th-... Thanks, Snow…” I croak and cough lightly and forcibly swallow.

Simon lets out a tense breath as we both realize how bad of an idea this was. 

He turns around and pulls silently out of my driveway. There’s no music on and the air is so tense that I’m choking on it. I crack a window and chew on my lip. For the first time in my life I’m _ shy _ . 

I fucking  _ hate  _ what this goddamn boy does to me.

His stupid cheeks are bright red and I can see freckles and moles littering his face and that fucking mole that I’ve wanted to kiss since I was  _ born _ . 

This is torture. If anything,  _ he’s _ the one that’s plotting.

He’s plotting my death by being so unbearably, irresistibly cute.

Snow clears his throat. “Hey… So, uh, what’s-... I-... How- How are you?” His voice is meak and small as he stutters out a question and makes my heart stammer too.

I look over at him and my eyes get stuck on every bit of him. Especially his clothes. “I’m… Snow, you-... I-... You’re not in your uniform…” I trip over my own tongue, sounding just like he does for a moment.

Snow starts to chuckle. “Do you really think I wear that all the time?” His voice is smooth and low, quiet. “I mean, y-yo-you… Y-Your wearing  _ jeans _ , Baz.” His face is aflame.

“Well, I-... No!... Yeah… I kinda thought…” I trail and end with a shrug. “I dunno, Snow.”

And, then, it gets eerily quiet. It’s awkward and I can hear every breath enter Simon’s lungs and leave them. He stirs uncomfortably in his seat and I pull at a frayed hem on my shirt.

“This is… weird.” Simon mumbles and I flinch lightly.

“Yeah, I know.” He regrets it. He regrets it and I'm panicking and feel horrible and know I should say something,  _ anything _ to stop all of this but I can't even speak for once in my life!

“How'd you get locked out?” He asks just to fill the silence.

“My parents were going to Manchester for my dad's work-slash-vacation and they forgot I exist.” I mumble and regress more into myself. I shouldn't be alive. I'm the worst.

My own  _ father _ forgets about me. It would be simple to just end it.

Snow's hand brushes my leg briefly before flinching back. “I-... Baz, I'm really sorry.” 

I nod gently.

It gets quiet again and Simon drums his fingers on the steering wheel. I know he hates this. Why was I so happy? He's just kind like this. He would do it for anybody.

“Snow, you can just drop me anywhere. I don't want to intrude. I can tell you-"

“God, Baz!” He interrupts. “I'm sorry I've just been working up the nerve to ask you to join Penny and I on our 'movie date’ tonight! I'm sorry I made you… Feel shitty.” He frowns and I clamp my mouth shut. But, that only lasts a moment.

“She knows I'm coming?  _ And _ she's okay with me joining?” I'm shocked.

Simon gets abnormally still and I can already tell that my rhetorical question was worth saying aloud.

“You haven't even told her, have you?”

“She knows we talk but, I haven't exactly said how much or anything, so, ahh… No,” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I, uh, still want you to, er... join us?”

“No,” I huff. “I don't need to piss Bunce off even more than she will be once she finds out the truth about how much we talk and about everything…” I cross my arms and feel a hot grasp on my forearm, near my elbow, fingers grazing my own.

And, my eyes meet his for only a fraction of a second.

#  Simon

I catch his arm and nearly flinch away again but his eyes hit mine, it's barely even a second before I'm looking back at the road, but my arm is firmly clamped to him. All my mind will come up with for words is  _ cold, cold, ice-fucking-cold. _

_ I’m plotting all the ways that I can tell you that I’m in love with you… _

Fuck.

That message was to  _ me _ .

Baz is  _ in love _ .

He's in love  _ with me. _

Holy fucking shit. 

How have I not realized this until now? How the hell did I not notice!?

“Baz, please, just can- could… would you-... Can you-... Please just…” My thoughts are just shattered to bits by touching him. 

“Snow-” He sounds desperate to say the word no, just like I'm desperate to kiss him.

“ _ Please. _ ” It comes out more pathetic than I mean it to be.

Baz nods. Doesn't say another word.

He just nods.

And my hand stays on his arm the entire way home.

***

Once we reach my house, my mother is back from work and Charlotte had walked back from a friend's.

This will be fun.

Note the blaring sarcasm there.

“Simon! Where the hell have you been!? Why didn't-” Mum stops ranting when she spots Baz, poorly hidden behind me, almost like a child hidden behind their mother. Much too tall though.

“Baz was locked out of his house for the weekend by accident. I said he could stay here,” I inform. “Oh, and Penny's coming for dinner too. It's movie night.” 

She looks shocked by the sight of Baz.

Baz sticks a hand out to her, wobbling out from behind me a bit. “I'm Basilton Grimm-Pitch, you can call me Baz.” His eyes are on the floor and his cheeks are tinted rose and it makes me want to just kiss them.

My arm brushes his and I shiver.

Mum takes his hand after a moment. “Lord, you're freezing!” She gasps. “ Let me get you something to warm up with!” 

“It's okay Ma’am, I'm always this cold. It's just my natural temperature.” He nods and Mum looks my way.

I shrug at her and grab Baz by the wrist. Both of us jump at the contact, though, I don’t let go. My fingers tingle, we’re fire on ice, the complete opposites.

I pull him to my room, Charlotte giving us both a once over as we pass her in the living room. Baz grabs the back of my shirt, pulling at it lightly. “Who’s she?” He mumbles.

“My sister, Charlotte.” I reply and he nods, his hand still holding my shirt. I honestly think he forgot he was doing it. I’m very much aware of him doing it and my body hums with magic.

We reach my room and it’s only then that I notice that I’m still gripping his wrist and he realizes that he’s still holding my clothing.

We both pull away at the same moment. “ _ Sorry _ .” We both hum in unison and laugh. I can’t tell if it’s awkward or not.

I shuffle more into the room and he follows, sitting on the edge of my couch and I prop myself on my bed. His eyes flicker about the room until they land on me and then he shys back to watching his hands in his lap.

Merlin, I’m staring. “Are-... Do-... Do you want anything to eat or like…” I trail awkwardly.

“I’m fine… Snow… Thanks.” He gives a simple nod.

“I-... Yeah, but, do you even eat though, like, for real? I’ve never seen you eat anything other than those fucking apples in your closet and salt and vinegar chips when you think that I’m sleeping.”

Baz’s head snaps up with alarm. “Snow, I think I left a bag of apples in the room,” He gapes and I start to laugh as though he were joking. “No- like… Seriously! There is a rotten bag of apples in our closet right now!” 

“You mean,  _ your _ closet, Baz,” I tease. “Your closet, your problem.”

“Snow!” He whines and I laugh vibrantly. Baz stares at me from the couch as I do. “I-... I don’t think I’ve ever heard you  _ laugh _ , Snow.” 

My laughter dies down after a moment or so. “Yes you have.” I speak and Baz stands, approaching me.

“Nope, haven’t.” He insists and hesitantly sits down near me.

“Have to.” I insist and Baz leans a bit closer to me.

“Nuh-uh.” He replies like a child as I gravitate towards him a little.

“Yes.” I insist.

“No.”

“Yes, you have.”

“I have not!”

By now we’re in each others faces, and he’s so close. I have never wanted to kiss anybody more in my life. He’s hovering so fucking close to my face that I definitely could. But, I won’t.

I don’t remember why we were arguing and by the look on Baz’s face, he doesn’t either. We just stay there, awkwardly staring at one another.

I hear something outside of my door and obviously he does too, his hand landing on my thigh and he grabs mine, placing it far too close to his crotch and jerking me forward, our foreheads knocking in the process.

The door the moment before I ask what the fuck exactly he thinks he’s doing. “Simon, Mom wants to-” Charlotte’s voice halts and my head flies up, hitting Baz in the chest.

“Cherry!” I say as if my hand is not just barely caressing another man’s junk.

“Hello, Charlotte, Snow and I were just playing a round of chicken! What did your mother need?” Baz swoops in and saves me.

“Did you guys want pizza for dinner?” She seems a little shocked. “And Penny?”

“Uh, yeah, we’ll be right down to tell her what kind.” I nod and she stays put for a moment, watching us for longer than I wished.

She turns and walks out and I throw myself back from him and he does the same.

“What the hell was that supposed to be?” I pant as my heart runs miles through my veins.

“I don’t know! I panicked!” 

“So the best idea you had was to practically put my hand on your crotch?” I ask and his face burns red.

“I’m sorry! My ex and I used to do that to make it look like we were just fucking around!” He defends and I start to laugh.

“Crowley, Baz.” I smile and stand from my bed and make my way to the door, Baz follows and catches my shirt on the way down the stairs. 

My breath gets stuck in my throat.

We reach the kitchen and Baz lets go. My mother starts asking Baz what he would like as she knows Penny and I’s orders by now.

“I’ll just take some of Snow’s,” Baz says and realizes he called me Snow in front of my mother and his cheeks tint. “I don’t eat around people often, I won’t eat much and don’t want you to spend money on me.” He laughs lightly.

“Baz, honey, do you eat properly?” She’s hinting towards asking ‘ _ do you have an eating disorder? _ ’

“Oh! Crowley no! I’m just weird about eating around others is all.” Baz shakes his head at her accusation.

“He does eat, Mum,” I nod. “He’s just a bit queer.” I say without realizing. I look with alarm in Baz’s direction and he’s suppressing a laugh.

“I can agree with you on that.” He bites his lip and slides past me out of the room. I follow close behind as he starts to giggle like a child.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t even-”

“Snow! It’s fine! I love shit like that,” He smiles. “You should  _ see _ my shirt collection.” 

And, I start to laugh too.

We end up back in my room, sitting on my bed. We had his this weird, comfortable silence between us a while back and now we’re just enjoying one another’s company.

I swallow hard, we’re waiting for Penny to get here and I am full of nerves. “Baz.” I speak and grab his attention.

“What’s up?” He smiles lightly.

“I-... She doesn’t know… Penny doesn’t…” I let my voice fall away.

“Doesn’t know what?” He asks, his smile seeming to fall like my voice.

“That I like boys…” I breathe, “Only you… Nobody else… Knows.” I play with the hem on my shirt.

“Seriously? You tell Bunce everything,” He doesn’t look at me. “You-... You trust me? With a secret so big…?” I catch a smile trying to rise on his face like the morning sun.

“Yeah…” I murmur, edging closer, my hand brushing his on the seat and I run my tongue of over my lips. “I have feelings for-... Uh... somebody…” I glance over at him from the corner of my eye. He’s staring at me.

“Really?” He hums. “Who…?” He mumbles.

“It’s a boy…” I blurt, swallowing down my feelings. “I-... I don’t know what to do.”

Baz’s hand laps over mine and my head flies up to look at him. He doesn’t retreat from it. “Whatever makes you happy is what you should do…” I lean forward to kiss him and he still stays put.

But, I can’t do it so we end up just staring at each other again.

There’s a slam on the other side of the door and we jump apart like spooked cats. We both become shy again, watching our laps and possibly each other out of the corner of our eyes.

Baz clears his throat to shoo the silence away.

I chew my lip before finally speaking up. “I-... Baz, I’ve never kissed a boy. I’m worried if I try with him then I’ll mess it up.”

“It’s the same as kissing a girl, Snow.” Baz mutters.

“I’ve only ever kissed Agatha and it wasn’t like… Pleasing, you know?” I slump down in my seat. “Kissing guys looks  _ so different _ .” I sigh.

“Well, I’ve never kissed anybody.” He turns away from me and I start to laugh, believing that he was just fucking with me. He stays stone cold, turned away from me. “Thanks, Snow. Really makes me feel even better about that fact.”

My laughing seizes immediately. “You’re serious?” I ask. “I-... Baz, I thought that you must have because you have ex’s and-”

“Snow, I lied so I didn’t look like an idiot! Christ, I’ve said I had girlfriends before too!” He presses his hands to his face. “Now I feel like a fucking idiot.”

“Baz.” I grab his sleeve.

“It’s fine, just let me wallow in my own pity.” He whispers.

#  Baz

Snow tugs at my shirt more and I just want to regress into a puddle and soak into the couch. I fucking hate that I admitted this. It’s a stupid thing, I know but I have only ever  _ wanted _ to kiss Simon.

“Baz, it’s okay… I’m sorry for laughing.” His hand then falls to touch my arm. I nearly choke. All this touching is going to send me into cardiac arrest.

“I still feel stupid, Snow. I’ve never done  _ anything _ . It’s pathetic.” I won’t look at him. 

“Baz. Please.” He speaks and pulls at my arm.

I snap, whipping to face him. “What, Snow?! What do you need me to f-” 

He kisses me.


	10. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update because I love you guys so much and don't wanna leave you hanging

#  Baz

His hand cups my jaw as he pulls away. He smiles at me. “Now you’ve had your first kiss and don’t have to feel bad about it anymore and I know what a boy feels like.”

I’m utterly speechless. I can feel my fangs in my mouth, they’re big and my chest feels tight, forcing me to let out this long, shaking breath. “Th-Th… Thanks, Snow…” I sound like a kid with a retainer and Simon doesn’t seem to notice.

His hand falls away and he moves back. “No problem, Baz. What are friends for?” My heart crashes into my stomach.

“Yeah.” I nod, it’s all I can do.

Simon goes to speak again when Bunce bursts into the room and freezes seeing the pair of us.

“Penny!” Snow grins as though this is normal.

“What the fuck is  _ Baz _ doing here!?” She shoots me a sour glare and Simon frowns at her.

“He’s my guest. I’m letting him stay for the weekend because his family locked him out while they went on vacation,” He explains. “I said he could join us.”

“What is wrong with you, Simon!? All you ever talked about how he’s ‘ _ plotting’ _ and now you’re all friendly with him!” She snaps.

“I’ve been talking to him all summer Penny! He’s a good guy. Give him a chance.” They continue to argue and I just feel like utter shit.

Snow finally kissed me and I couldn’t even be happy about it. Simon bloody Snow kissed me on the mouth, becoming my first ever kiss and he didn’t even  _ mean  _ anything by it! He did it because he felt bad for me. He didn’t do it because he wanted to kiss me like I wanted to kiss him. Right now, I want to kiss him again too, and again, and again, and again and I never wanted to  _ stop _ kissing him. I was so hopelessly in love with him, it was ridiculous. I could still feel the ghost of his lips on mine and I was shaking.

“Baz?” Snow touches my arm and I jump.

“Yes?” I croak as I stare into his blue eyes.

“I'm going to go calm Penny down, alright?” He says and I grab his wrist.

“Snow! Wait, I’m just going to leave. You guys hang out, I’ve taken too much of your time already.” I start to get up and Snow pushes me back to the couch.

“I want you to stay, Baz. I don’t care if she gets mad. Penny will get over it. I’ve never spent any kind of time hanging out with you and I want to, okay? Please?” He gives me his big, blue, puppy-dog eyes and I turn to mush.

“As long as it doesn’t ruin you and Bunce’s relationship.”

“Friendship.” He corrects and let's his hand linger on my chest for a moment longer before moving to the door. 

What have I gotten myself into?

#  Simon

I talked Penny into joining us and she seemed to have fun once she got over the fact that it was Baz that she was having a good time with. She left at about midnight and I set Baz up to sleep on the couch. I had offered him my bed and he refused it, insisting he was already  _ ‘intruding’  _ and didn’t want to take my bed from me.

We lay in the dark on opposite sides of the room, almost as though we were back in Watford.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” I mumble to him.

“I’m fine, Snow. You don’t have to ask every five seconds.” He laughs gently.

“I’m just making sure.” I smile still wanting to be closer to him. Today still rattles me and where the hell I got the courage to kiss him like that still echoes in my head. His lips were cold and soft, plump. I could feel his fangs when I kissed him too.

It was most definitely magical.

“Baz.” I say, assuming he would have fallen asleep by now.

“Yeah.” He hums softly.

“Why did you flirt with Agatha?” I say quietly. I just had to know why he did it. He’s so open with his sexuality that it’s hard to believe he was just trying to hide it.

“I was jealous.” He mumbles and quickly adds, “You were so happy with her and it wasn’t fair to me because you got the person you wanted and I couldn’t so I wanted to make you miserable too.”

I huff. “You are an ass you know.”

“It never worked, Snow. She told me she didn’t like my power or whatever,” He answers. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad she left me so, thanks, Baz.” I breathe out tiredly.

“Go to sleep, Snow.”

I let out a tired laugh. “Goodnight, Baz.” I whisper.

“Goodnight, Snow.”

#  Baz

I wake with a jolt and my body trembling, heart racing as I tumble off of a couch to the floor. Panicked, I look about the room. At first I have no idea where the hell I am and all I can feel is utter fear. 

I'm in Snow's bedroom. I try and tell myself that I'm safe but I'm still petrified and can't calm down. I fumble to a seated position and lean against the couch, pulling my knees into myself and my face falls into the crook between my legs and I sob.

I'd had the dream again. Watford, vampires… Mom. 

A cry escapes me involuntarily as my magic hums in my throat. I curse myself for that when Snow sits bolt upright on his bed and quickly flicks his eyes around the room. They stop on the empty couch and I pray that he thinks I've left. I press myself more into my knees in hopes to be invisible.

I can hear the gentle sound of Snow's bare feet hitting the wood floor as he gets up, his bed creaking with the shift of weight.

My heart pounds. Not in the good way, the usual way when Snow comes near. I shake harder and cling to myself. I'm absolutely petrified by the thought of somebody coming near me. My night terrors do that to me for some reason and right now, I hate it. 

I want to be comforted when I have dreams like this but nobody really cares for me at home. I am family but they don't rush to my aid when I'm sick or frightened like they do the others. 

“Baz,” Snow's voice is so soft that I shiver. His hand gently moves to my shoulder after he crouched next to me. I flinch so goddamn hard that my head slams into the couch behind me. I look at him then and he looks calm and sincere and also afraid that I may spook again. “You okay?” He sounds so caring.

I cry harder and Simon is the one that flinches this time. I don't think I've ever actually cried in front of him. Not even the time that he held me all night as kids.

“Why do you care?” I hiccup. It comes out meeker than I expected.

“You're crying on my bedroom floor, Baz. Of course I'm going to worry.” He frowns but not the usual, pissed-off kind of frown.

“So, I'm just here because I have nowhere else to go, Snow.” I sniff but I'm still hysterical and all that's running through me is fear and not the thought of how bloody close Simon fucking Snow is to me.

“Fine,” He hisses, not as rude as he seemed to expect either. “I'm going to bed. I just wanted to be nice for once, Baz. I'll just leave you to-”

He stood and I caught his wrist - because I'm hopeless and I'm weak for him - and he stopped talking. I don't know what to do now.

“Simon…” My voice is miles away, nearly silent and it's dripping with fear and panic.

He swallows and I watch his Adam's apple bob. He's beautiful. The soft moonlight shining over him in the darkness of the night and making his skin glow. 

He really is a star. My favorite one. 

No. 

He's a constellation. And he's the constellation that's closest to the sun. 

So hot and so beautiful.

I love him.

And he sinks back to the floor in front of me, “...Do you… Want to talk about it?” He pulls at the fabric of his pants. 

“Why would I ever talk about such a thing? Especially with you?” It's still not as mean as I try to make it be.

I drop his wrist and he moves to stand again.

“Don't leave!” I gasp and catch both of his arms in my fingers.

#  Simon

His fingers are so cold that I shiver. He's looking at me so differently than usual. He looks utterly pathetic. 

I never thought I'd see the day.

His hand falls from my wrist and I move away from him. Why would I stay up with him if he's just going to act like his usual douche-self?

“Don't leave!” He cries out and grips both of my arms. He's trembling as he stares at me through the blackness of the room. I can see him from the moonlight that spills in from my window. 

Baz's black hair hangs around his face limply and he's looking at me with big eyes that look almost green right here, they're rivers as tears run from them like a tap.

“Please…” He begs me and pulls gently on my arms, trying to get me closer again. “Don't go, Simon. Just… Please, stay with me for a little bit.” He's desperate, begging with everything he has in him.

“Why?” Is all that comes from me.

“I-...” Baz doesn't have anything to say. This is the first time I've ever seen him fishing for a reply. “I don't want to be alone.” 

I'm shocked. He's  _ never  _ been like this before.

“Baz, are you ill?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“Please, Snow.” He whimpers, it's so soft I can barely hear it and he drops my arms again.

I sit for a moment, thinking. He could be doing this just so he can kill me. 

But, he is begging me and he's  _ crying _ . I know, for once, he's telling me the truth.

I relent and crawl closer to him so that we're next to each other. I leave space so that we don't touch and Baz slides closer so that we do.

I look over at him and his head is rested on the top of his knees, hunched and his eyes are held closed. I think he's trying to stop crying.

I rest a hand on his back and he jumps lightly. I almost pull away but he relaxes as soon as he notices it's just me. 

It's awkwardly quiet and I want to fix it somehow.

“Baz-”

“Snow-”

We both seem to have the same thought.

“You called me Simon before.” I hum.

“Never.” He mutters and it's quiet again.

I wait a bit to speak again. “You called me Simon before.” I try again.

“I would never do such a thing.” He shakes his head a little and sniffs.

“You did though.”

“I do a lot of things.” Is all he says and he sits silently again.

I look him over and he's tense, shaking like mad. It reminds me of a frightened dog in a thunderstorm. 

His hair falls forward over his shoulders, sticking to his damp cheeks. I remove my hand from his back and reach to move some behind his ear and he shutters.

The pajamas I lent him are loose in the shoulders and short in the legs. The material hangs down over his arms and exposes his collarbones and some of his chest. 

Now that I look at him, he's quite muscular. I've never been this close to him before, other than when were fighting. I've never been close enough to look him over. 

His jawline is sharp too and he has a nice chin. I smile as I spot the little bend in his nose. I did that when we were kids. I punched him so hard that I think his nose actually broke.

I open my mouth to speak again and Baz shifts suddenly, resting his head on my shoulder. I tense. I can't help it.

Baz sits again and mutters an apology.

I don't know what it is that possesses me in this moment but, I wrap an arm over his shoulders and pull him close to me, his head resting on my chest.

I can see his eyes are huge.

“Snow-”

“You called me Simon before.”

It’s silent and so I slip my fingers between his and grab my wand out of my waistband. Baz is in shock and I don’t think I can blame him. I am too.

**_“Twinkle, Twinkle little star…”_ ** My voice is barely audible and Baz stares at me in awe as I cast. Slowly the room turns into the entire universe. Baz clings closer to me as I go.

I can feel him squeeze my fingers tighter in his own. He lets me finish the spell before he speaks up. “I can’t believe you’re doing this for me.” I can hear the tears in his voice. He coughs feebly.

“It’s because I care, Baz...” I start to stroke his hair. “Look, that’s my favorite star.” I point.

Baz mumbles something in reply and I can’t hear it. “I can't find mine.” He says with a tired voice.

I slide my arm free from him and he sits up, looking at me in confusion as I stand and hold an arm out to him. He gently takes it and stands, though I keep my hand in his as I bring him to my bed. “You need it more than I do.” I joke.

“What are you doing?”

“We can both sleep in my bed, Baz.” I hum and pull him to get into the bed. 

“What!? No!” He shakes his head and pulls his hand away. “It’s fine, Snow.”

“Why not?”

“Because! Why would I want to sleep with you?” He argues. “I think I’m just going to see if I can stay with Fiona.”

“Why? Is this just part of your plan or something?” I hiss out of anger.

“Oh, yeah! Definitely! This is all just me fucking plotting to kill you!” He snaps at me, his teary eyes glistening in the light that shone from the stars floating carelessly around us. “All I ever think about is   _ you _ , Snow! Everything is always about you!” He shouts at me, his voice breaking on that last bit.

“You are such an asshole! You’re doing anything and everything to make me miserable at every chance you get! Of course you’re plotting!” I yell back.

#  Baz

“Maybe I am, Snow! What are you going to do to stop me!?” I yell at him and I can tell that I am most definitely not intimidating with my crying voice and shaking breaths.

“Tell me what your plotting, Baz! What the hell are you going to do!?” He does that goddamn growl that drives me insane. He’s taunting me.

I step between his legs as he’s seated on the edge of his bed and I grab both sides of his face and run my fingers down over his neck, over his collar bones and I lean in. I swear to Merlin and Morgana that I thought I may bite him as I get to his neck, moving up to his ear.

I let out a shaking breath and Simon shutters as it passes over his skin. “Two things,” I say to him, my voice is so soft that even I can barely hear it. I lick my lips and my tongue grazes his skin. I shiver at that one. “Since fifth year, I’ve only ever had two things on my mind and both involve you.” I whisper.

“Baz-”

“Shut up for once, Snow.” I demand and he does. I’m losing ground on my courage right now and I know I won’t be able to tell him anymore. I swallow hard and chew on my lower lip.

“What are you doing?” His voice is as low as mine.

I let out a shiver of a breath. “I-...” His fingers lapse over mine and I gasp. I can’t think like this. Another trembling breath rolls over his skin and he shakes, “Trying to decide which fifth grade fantasy I want to come true right now.” I close my eyes and I can hear Simon swallow.

I lean nearer to him, my skin just far enough away to not feel his. I let out a breath and my heart is beating so hard that I can feel my pulse in my veins.

“Baz…” Simon mumbles.

“Shh…” I hush him and his body tenses. I gulp hard and brush my lips to his neck, my fangs popping and they graze his skin as I pull away. Simon gasps, nearly a growl.

“Baz, what is this?” He pants.

“I don’t know…” I mumble and pull away, grabbing his cheeks. “Can I kiss you?”

“ _ Please. _ ”

And, so, I do.


	11. Cinnamon Ice Cream, Kisses and Late Talks

#  Simon

I didn’t expect to end up sitting atop Baz with his chilling lips on mine tonight. But, that’s exactly what I received. I was kneeling, legs on either side of him and my ass on the lower part of his stomach and I was hunched over him, a hand on his left cheek and a fist full of hair on the right.

Baz had both hands gripping onto my upper arms. He was strong but very gentle. He was propped up on my pillows a bit, sitting up slightly.

I move my mouth off of his and start trailing my lips down his jawline and to his neck, making my way down to his collarbone. Before I can reach my destination, I notice two, extremely faint marks at the base of his neck. I smirk and attach myself to them, Baz’s head flies into the pillows, back arching and his fingers dig into my arms as he lets out a breathy-moan. 

I pull away and his muscles relax. “Found your sweet-spot, Pitch.” 

Baz brings a hand up to where my mouth had been just moments ago. “That’s where I was bitten.” He tells me and I start to laugh.

“Wow, real kinky, Baz,” I giggle like a child. “But, it’s ironic because that must have been the most painful thing to ever happen to you and now it’s what gets you off.”

Baz smacks my arm and kisses me again to shut me up. I run my hands up under his shirts like in my dreams. He purrs like a cat, he has been since he started kissing me earlier.

Suddenly, he takes my cheeks in both hands and pushes me back. “Snow, wait.” He gasps for air.

“Why’d you stop?” I nearly whine.

“What is all this to you?” He is dead-serious.

“Kissing?” I answer, knowing that he means something other than what I think he does.

“No you moron!” He sighs in exasperation. “What does it  _ mean _ to you? What’s the point?  _ What are we doing? _ ”

My mouth makes an ‘o’ shape as I start to nod. “I-... I don’t…” I mumble.

“Does this mean anything  _ at all _ to you, Snow or is this just practice for that guy you like?” He’s suddenly angry and my jaw drops.

“Baz, I-... It’s you…” I speak. I thought he could have guessed by now, especially since I kissed him the first time. I thought he liked me…

“What?”

“You, Baz! I have  _ feelings _ for  _ you _ !” I sit back and he props himself up on his elbows. Baz seems stunned. “Does-... Does this mean anything to you…?” My hands start to shake.

“Crowley, Snow!” Baz clasps his hands over his face. “Please don’t make me say it aloud…”

My heart sinks and I’m not sure what to do. “So, this meant nothing-”

“Are you stupid!?” He grabs me by the collar of my shirt and pulls himself to be so close to my face that his breath is cold over my skin. “I’ve been in love with you for seven years, Simon.” 

And, then, he kisses the mole on my cheek. “And I’ve wanted to kiss that stupid thing for just as long…” He whispers to himself.

“You-...” I suddenly can’t even comprehend the past seven years.

“You’re fucking blind, you know?” He whispers and cups his hand behind my head and tangles his fingers in my shaggy hair.

“Sorry.” I mumble back and he shakes his head.

“Know why I couldn’t find my favorite star before?” He hums and I just raise a brow in reply. “Because I don’t have just one. You are a constellation all on your own and you are my favorite one.”

His mouth lands on my temple and his arms slide around my neck, staying close even when he’s pulled back.

“You’re a black star, Baz,” I speak and let our lips brush as I do. “You pulled me into you and you’re like ice and I’m fire. You put out my flame and I make you steam.”

Baz kisses me once I finish.

“Hey, aren’t you hungry? You didn’t eat before.” I ask and he nods lightly.

“I’m okay with kissing you for a few more hours first though.” He moves to kiss me again but I place my hand in the way.

“You need to eat, stupid.” I laugh and he groans, releasing me and falling back to the bed.

“Ugh!” He grunts. “Fine.” I climb off of him and he latches his arms around my waist and drops his chin onto my shoulder.

I smile and lean my head to his and it feels so weird but I love whatever it is we have right here.

#  Baz

“Cinnamon ice cream?” I stare down at the bowl that Simon just slid across the center island to me, going to scoop himself a bowl.

“Yeah! It’s amazing! Don’t eat it yet though.” He smiles as he puts a final chunk in his bowl before sticking the plastic container back in the freezer and opening a cabinet.

He fishes around inside of it for a second before excitedly presenting marshmallow syrup to me. I can’t hold back the smile that cracks across my features while he puts some on both of our ice creams. He puts the bottle in the middle of the counter before sliding into the chair beside me, getting extremely close. I’m still reeling from the events of the past few hours.

Snow rolls his eyes as he notices me just poking at it and not trying any. He gets a spoonful from his bowl and holds it out to me. “Eat.” He presses it to my lips.

I open my mouth and he places it in as if I’m a child, pulling it back out after a second. I let it lay on my tongue and my eyebrows flick up with surprise. “It’s actually good.” I slur and Simon kisses me.

“See.” He nudges me gently.

We both fall into silence as we eat and Simon is obviously done first, starting to ramble as he does the moment his mouth isn’t occupied. “So, like, I’ve had a couple of these dreams, the last one was when I was sick and like…” He starts to trail off but I elbow him lightly.

“Don’t leave me hanging, Snow.” I say and he blushes a beautiful crimson.

“Well, they’re of me in bed and like I feel like I’m on fire and you wrap your arms around me and your skin feels so goddamn nice…” His eyes flutter as he thinks of it and I take this as my opportunity to slide my hand up under his shirt, laying it on his back.

He moans and clasps a hand over his mouth with wide eyes, starting to laugh. “Sorry…” He tries to hide his blush behind his hands but I pull them back and hold them. 

Simon looks nervous, almost as if he’s afraid for anybody to see us together. Bur, he kisses me again.

I pull away, no matter how badly I don’t want to and look Simon in the eyes. “If you don’t want to say anything we don’t have to. We don’t have to be anything around anybody but each other.” I assure him.

“I want to, Baz. It may have taken me bloody forever to realize that I have crazy feelings for you but I don’t want to smother them either because of others,” He squeezes my fingers. “ I never want to stop kissing you, Baz. Never, ever.”

I brush a stray hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ear. “You look like you don’t want to though. Like you’re afraid of being found out.”

“Well, yeah, I want to come out to people before I’m just caught inhaling your fangs.”

I let out a very unflattering snort at that. “Okay, Snow.” I press my lips to his neck. Merlin do I love his neck. I’m not sure if it’s the vampire thing or if it’s just that his throat is very appealing in general but, I want to just keep my mouth there for an eternity.

Suddenly, I’m so tired that my eyes don’t want to stay open.

“Come on,” Simon stands and I grab onto him to not fall from the seat. “Vampire needs his beauty sleep.”

I lazily laugh and drape myself over Simon who practically carries me back to bed. He looks exhausted himself, his eyes are drooping and bags have begun to form beneath them. He still looks beautiful. I can see how he would be dead-tired, I am too. Today was long and so much happened up until now, which was some ungodly hour between one and six AM.

Simon falls into bed first and I follow behind. It feels weird to be in the same bed. He's got a massive one though so it's not too weird. We each have our respective sides.

Simon is curled into himself, facing the wall, away from me and I'm currently on my back, cold and jittery as the day slaps my memory like a scorned woman hits a cheating lover.

I toss and turn for far too long and eventually find myself edging towards Simon. I can't help myself when my arms pull around him, one sliding across an exposed bit of his skin. 

He's like a heater and I pull closer. Snow stirs lightly and I feel his fingers lace with mine and pull my hand to rest on his chest. “Snow,” I whisper and he grunts in response. “I had the same dreams.”

He rolls so his head rests on my chest, his eyes peering upwards at me. “What?” 

“Those dreams…” I twirl some stray hairs over my fingers and brush his cheeks lightly, touching his forehead. “I had the same ones.”

Simon kisses my neck and rolls more into me. “You're so cold.” He hums and runs his hands up my shirt and around to my back. I lean into his touch as I am absolutely freezing. His face is pressed against my chest and part of my neck and I have my chin resting on the very top of his head. One hand is shoved into his hair and the other is roaming his bare back in soothing circles. 

One of Simon's legs wraps around mine to make us closer. He licks his lips and his tongue brushes my skin. I have to close my eyes and clamp my jaw shut not to moan because it was so hot. But, then again, everything he does is hot in my opinion. 

The collar on this shirt is so stretched and awkward, I haven't asked why it's like this and Simon didn't elaborate when he gave it to me. It's so stretched that the entire top half of my chest and shoulders are basically visible.

It smells like him, like smoke and something sweet. He stopped smelling like that nasty green something when he started controlling his power.

I don't particularly miss that scent.

“Baz.” My name is groggily hummed.

“You should be asleep.” I smile.

“Something's bothering me and I can't sleep until I talk to you.” Snow doesn't move to look up at me and I don't bother doing so either. I'm so comfortable that I don't see a point.

“What is it?” I yawn.

“What-...” He pauses and seems to be fumbling for the best way to say something. “What  _ is _ this?” He asks and my brow furrows.

“What do you mean?” 

“Like,  _ this _ ,  _ us _ , what is all of that?” He mumbles. “I know it's stupid, I'm sorry… It's just been bothering me for a bit…” I can feel him begin chewing on his bottom lip.

“I don't know…” I shrug lightly. “We can be anything. Snow, we have been enemies our whole lives and now we're sleeping in each other's arms…  _ I _ don't care what we are because everything I've ever wanted came true today. If you want to go back to fighting, we can, if you want to stick to friends, we can do that too.” I close my eyes tightly. I don't know if I could handle him saying that he'd rather be fighting.

“I don't want to-... Be  _ friends _ , Baz.” Simon starts playing with my shirt.

“What  _ do _ you want, Snow?” I yawn again and he does the same promptly after.

“You,” He tightens his arms and my stomach melts into butterflies and my throat gets tight. It gets quiet and I think he had fallen asleep as I start to doze too. He speaks up suddenly, making me jump. “Baz, I'm a shitty boyfriend.” 

“What?” I mumble. I have no bloody idea what the hell he wanted to mean by that. Probably because I'm beyond exhausted.

“I'm the absolute worst boyfriend ever. I don't know how Agatha pulled off three years with me… But, tonight-... Today-... I mean, the last couple months- with you, I… I have done more with you than Agatha would let me with her…” He's rambling and stuttering and he's exhausted, I can hear it in his voice. I want to listen forever because, him talking to me, it's like listening to a favorite song.

“Snow, we can do this in the morning.” I say to him as I know we both are dying to sleep.

“No,” He dismisses and continues on talking anyway. “You're different and I like you. I don't care that we've been enemies, that's in the past, a childish feud that happened for no reason. But, I'm a horrible boyfriend either way. I don't know  _ how _ to be a boyfriend at all!” 

“Simon, love, get to the point.” I smile and stroke his golden locks.

“I'm trying to say that I want to be your boyfriend, Baz. More than anything, I want to be your horrible, awful, terrible boyfriend.”

My heart slams against my ribcage and I think Simon notices, shifting his head slightly to rest directly over it. 

“You're not terrible,” I whisper. “You are absolutely wonderful, Snow.” 

His breathing is calm and slow and that just makes my heart race even harder in my chest.

“I'm just warning you,” He says. “I want you to know that I don't know how to do this and I'm the worst at it.”

“Snow, I've  _ never _ done this before. All I've done since the age of eleven is imagine a relationship with  _ you _ . I know that this isn't going to be anything like those fantasies at all and I'm okay with that as long as you'll let me be your obnoxious, clingy and slightly disturbed boyfriend.” I coo gently into his hair as I leave a kiss on the top of his head.

“So is that a yes?” Simon's voice is much too worried. As if I could ever say no.

“This is all I've ever wanted, how could I ever say no?”

“Baz.” He speaks and I know that he wants me to give an actual answer.

“Yes, Simon, I want you to be my beautiful, wonderful, perfect boyfriend.”

I feel him smile and my heart continues pounding.

I doubt it will ever stop.


	12. A Simple Weakness

#  Simon

I wake up, wrapped in the arms of my enemy. I press my face more into his chest, getting a gentle groan in response. “Good morning, Darling.” The groggy morning voice of Baz hums over my skin like pure magic. I grin against him for a moment longer before sitting up. Baz stares as I wobble lightly, still partly sleeping. There’s this stupid smile on his face and his he reaches over, playing with my fingers within his own. “Merlin, you are so gorgeous.” He coos, looking me over. Baz was the one who looked utterly gorgeous if anything.

He’s beautiful, his long black hair cascading over my pillows and his pale skin almost shines in the sunlight. I reach, with my free hand, to grab my phone from the bedside table and Baz takes this as an invitation to wrap his arm around me, pulling me down onto him and planting a very sloppy, wet kiss on my cheek. He squeezes me tightly and grins. 

I roll my eyes and attempt to squirm free of his grasp. Baz is much stronger than me and I know I won’t escape the awkward hold he has on me. I groan and run my tongue up his neck to throw him off guard. It works and Baz’s grip loosens as he gasps.

I pull free and slide off the bed, checking my phone. “Christ! Baz! It’s already two!” I show him the clock on the screen. He takes this opportunity to pull me back to him so I’m laying half on the bed.

“May as well just stay in bed then.” He mumbles into my neck, kissing at one of the moles I had there.

“We have to get up, Basil.” I groan as I roll from him.

“Did you just call me Basil?” Baz props himself up on an elbow and I glance at him.

“Problem?” I reply and he goes to make some kind of witty retort, but, yawns instead. His fangs pop and I'm drawn to them. I've never actually  _ seen _ his fangs before but, they're huge and sharp. “Whoa!” I cheer and flop to lay across his chest. His balance doesn't so much as waver when I throw all my weight on him.

I push his lip up and he makes a face, pulling his head back. “Don't do that you nit.” He slurs, getting a laugh from me.

“Why not?” I pout and try again.

“Because they're sharp  _ and _ toxic!” He answers but I continue anyway. “You are an idiot.” He makes a biting gesture towards me and I jerk my hand back.

Baz grins and gives me a shove. “I just want to look at them.” I protest.

“We should get up, Snow.” He taps my nose and I growl at him. Baz's eyes get wide and he slides quickly from under me, standing from the bed. “Crowley, Simon, don't do that!” He groans.

“Why not?” I smirk and wrap my arms around his waist and hold him still.

“Because!” He shouts as if it's a real answer.

“Because why?” I press my face into his lower back. 

“Snow, I  _ will _ bite you.” He threatens as he tries to squirm from my grasp. I let out another low growl and feel him straighten, his muscles tense.

“Oh my God! It turns you on! Does it!?” I bounce up on to my knees and release him.

Baz goes fantastically red. “I-! No! I-... It does not!” He protests and crosses his arms firmly over his chest. I giggle and watch him get redder.

I smirk and Baz clamps a hand over my mouth. “ _ Don’t you dare. _ ” He whispers.

The door flies open and Penny romps in. “... And he fucking says that I need to fucking grow up! Why do  _ I _ have to grow up! This is  _ his _ fault for Snakes-Sakes!” She rambles as though we’d already been in the middle of a conversation and Baz and I have frozen in place. “Fucking Crowley! Why do I get blamed for-... What are you doing?” Suddenly she seems to notice we’re there.

“Bunce.” Baz gives her a nod and backs away from me, dropping his hand to his side after a second. I let out a growl and Baz looks like he’s going to deck me. “You fucking tool!” 

“What is going on here?” She places her hands on her hips.

“I’m just pissing Baz off because I can.” My voice is hoarse.

She raises her brow and turns to look at Baz. I wasn’t technically  _ lying _ . “Well?” She hums and crosses her arms like Baz had just moments ago.

“He-... He’s not lying to you, Bunce.” Baz’s voice cracks on the first word. I can tell he’s truly struggling and I can a million percent tell now just how flustered my growling made him.

“Are you  _ sure _ , Baz?” She ask and he nods stiffly.

“Yep.” He croaks. “I’m going to, uh…” He points at the door briefly before hurrying out.

Penny sighs and sits next to me on my bed. “Simon, what the hell just happened?” I know I can’t lie to Penny but I can’t tell her. The words won’t come.

“Seriously, I was just pissing him off.” I tell her.

“Okay, whatever… Anyway, do you guys want to go out? My dad is really pissing me off today.” She sighs and I almost say yes. I have to talk to my mother about everything between Baz and I today and know that I can’t put it off, I would never do it if not today.

“I’m sorry, Pen. I have something really important to tell my mother and it will definitely call for a very,  _ very _ long discussion.” I frown. “Trust me, I’d rather go with you but, I’ve put this off for way too long and now it’s at the point that I  _ have _ to tell her.”

“You’re not going to tell me? Are you?”

“Not yet,” I rest my head on her shoulder. “I will someday. Promise.” 

“I bet Baz knows.” She crosses her arms and deeply frowns.

“Kinda has to,” I swallow. “It involves him.”

“Simon…” She sighs, not believing me.

“It does!” I insist.

“Fucking-...” She stands. “Whatever, Simon! Don’t cry to me when he spills-”

I catch her wrist. “Baz and I-!” I start and can’t finish, she stares at me.

“What? Simon?  _ What? _ ” She doesn’t sound angry, but, hurt. “You and Baz don’t need me around? You and Baz decided that it’s better without me? Huh?” Her voice wavers.

“I-...” I can’t say it. I want to but I don’t want her to be angry, I don’t want her to leave me or see me differently.

Baz clears his throat in the doorway and I look up at him. He cocks his head to the side lightly.

“That’s what I thought.” Penny pulls away and I jump to my feet.

“Penny! Please! I-... I just-... Give me a chance!” I plead.

“I’ve given you two but you can’t even fucking tell me, Simon!” She snaps and I look to Baz for a second before I look at her again.

“I’m trying! I’m sorry!” I beg.

“No. Obviously I’m not important to you anymore.”

She pulls away from me and starts to storm off. I catch Baz’s eyes and he looks hurt also. 

Fuck.

“I’m in love with Baz!” I call and she freezes in place.

“Don’t make up lies to entertain me, Simon.” She huffs, not looking at me. That makes my entire being tense up. I tell her the truth and she dismisses me. This is what I didn’t want.

“I-... Penny, I’m not…” My voice comes out weak.

“Don’t bother.” She pulls her arm away again but I’m faster to Baz, grabbing him by the collar of the shirt, pulling him down to me and kissing him so hard that he staggers. I move one hand up and cup his chin and he puts both of his in my hair, grabbing large chunks of my brown curls.

My grip on his shirt loosens after a moment and I pull back, Baz lets out a sound, similar to a child’s whine and tries to catch my mouth again.

I turn and he gets the side of my face.

“See.” I snap, Baz’s arms going around my middle as he sucks at my neck like a teething infant. Penny’s jaw is unhinged but she doesn’t seem as shocked as I thought she would have been.

#  Penny

Watching Simon kiss Baz like that felt right. Like, this was something that was always reality. I think that things are just now making sense.

I should’ve guessed that Simon was into guys. He was always a terrible boyfriend to Agatha and I have  _ never  _ seen him kiss her that way. I don’t think that he  _ meant _ to be as awful as he was but he was always so distant.

I mean, he never shuts up about Baz. Never. It was always so annoying but, I think I could get used to this. A person can only hear the word  _ ‘plotting’  _ so many times in their life without going insane.

“You and Baz…” I say. I can tell he’s going insane with waiting for my response while Baz could less of a shit, chewing on Simon like a dog toy.

Simon nods and Baz’s brow furrows. “Yeah…”

“Finally something about you makes sense!” I cheer and Simon jumps.

“That is the exact thing I said to Baz when he told me he was gay.” Simon says.

“That was blatantly obvious, Simon.” I sigh in exasperation. Baz was  _ always _ checking out the guys around campus. My favorite was when Simon would drag me to the pitch to watch Baz play, the  _ whole _ time, if Baz wasn’t staring at Simon, he was ogling the other players.

It was absolutely hysterical.

This seems to catch Baz’s attention and pry him from Simon pretty quickly. “What do you mean  _ ‘obvious’ _ , Bunce!?”

“You were  _ constantly _ undressing guys with your mind, Baz! You’re not that subtle!” I laugh and he gets red, which is surprising as he is a vampire. “At least to me you weren’t. I somewhat guessed that you liked Simon but, I could never be sure.”

He looks appalled. “I-... That is-... That isn’t true!” He’s mad red and I can’t stop laughing.

“Baz if you weren’t staring at Simon lovingly, you were checking out all your sports-friends!” He lets go of Simon, sputtering like an idiot. “It’s surprising Simon didn’t notice as he was so far up your ass.”

Both of them are so bright red, it’s absolutely hilarious.

“Penny!” Simon whines.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone!” I muss both of their already messy heads of hair on my way out.

#  Baz

Bunce really is observant. Either that or everybody else is just as horrifically oblivious as Snow. Now, I’m horrendously paranoid that I’ve been too obvious.

And, suddenly, I am distracted by Simon’s mouth on my neck.

“Crowley, Snow.” I croon and feel him grin.

“We should go out,” Snow runs his hands up under my shirt, leaving them on my sides. “You know? Like, on a date.” He sucks at a patch of skin on my jaw.

“When?”

“Right now, get dressed.” He lets me go and starts rummaging through his clothes to find something I may wear. He tosses a shirt and pair of clean boxers at me.

“Okay but what the fuck is this shirt?” I hold up a very gross printed button-down tee with a disgusting tropical print and flamingos on it.

“My Christmas gift from Cherry.” He replies and promptly yanks his shirt over his head. I may faint. I stare, open-mouthed. “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” He laughs and pulls a clean shirt up over his head. It's a grey tee with small red lettering on the chest that says ‘Be Danced, Or Dance’.

“Snow, what the fuck?” I laugh, placing a hand over my eyes. “What kind of shirts do you own?”

Simon shrugs at me and fishes a beanie out of his top drawer and tugs it on. “Dunno, I just shop in very interesting places.” He grabs a pair of boxers for himself. His collection of those are just as strange as his shirts. The pair he decides on says ‘It ain’t gonna suck itself!’ across the front and I blush.

“At least buy me dinner first, Snow.” I chuckle, making him turn incredibly red. 

“I didn’t even notice.” He tosses them back and retrieves a pair that is white and just covered in pickles.

I don’t ask.

Snow goes to drop his pants and I instantly spin the other direction. I’ve seen him naked  _ once _ before in the boys locker room and I doubt I can handle that excitement ever again. Or at least for right now.

“Sorry,” He lets out a laugh. “I’m not used to having anybody but Penny in here when I change and it’s just habit.”

“Bunce has seen you naked?” I gape.

“Yeah, can say the same for me to her too.” He says as though it’s no big deal.

“I’ll change in your bathroom.” I say as I start to make my way to the door. Arms fly around my waist, thankfully no nude parts exposed as Snow plants a sloppy kiss on the side of my mouth.

“You’re free to leave now.” He smiles and releases me. Holy shit, I love him.

“Thanks, Simon.” 

He smiles even bigger that time and I hurry off to get changed.

***

I was the one who was driving while Snow tried to find anywhere that we could safely go out together without risk of being caught yet. He's Googling places out of town but everywhere seems too far to go when we need to be back for dinner.

“Why don't we just get something to eat in town and people will just think it's friends out for a very late lunch?” I offer and Simon snorts.

“How about we save the I eat while you watch idea for date number, like, thirty.” He laughs and I crack a smile.

“Okay, yeah, that would be pretty weird. You're right.” I grin as I can see his stupidly beautiful smile out of the corner of my eye. He's sat awkwardly in his seat, looking over at me. 

“You're so handsome.” He coos gently, reaching for my hand. I give it to him and he pulls it into my lap, playing with it between his fingers.

“You're perfect.” I say and my face is warm.

“Baz, how did you realize your feelings for me?” He asks, glancing up from his lap, where he is fully occupied by my hand. 

“Hell, I don't really know. You were just always  _ there _ . Like, I always thought I was broken because I never felt love towards people I fancied. I just liked the way they looked or something specific about them, you know?” I mumble. “I thought there was something wrong with me because I never felt butterflies when they talked to me and I was never nervous around anybody. And then, I was roomed with you… I didn't feel anything right away because I was honestly bothered by you at first.”

Simon squeezes a piece of my finger. “So it wasn't immediate?”

“No. I didn't get why people adored you and I was pissed off at how everybody loved you… You started chasing after Wellbelove and it bothered me even more but I thought it was because I hated you,” I curl my index finger around his and he lets out a gentle giggle. “But, then you started talking about me and saying I was plotting and you were always there and, Crowley… I realized that I had these  _ feelings _ that I never felt before and they bothered me so much… And, it was really late one night and you were talking, not sure if it was to me or just in general and you were just rambling about how being in love felt because that's how you felt towards Agatha… It clicked…” I shrug.

“Wow… I'm sorry if I hurt you… You know, by being with and talking about Agatha so much.” He's frowning but I squeeze his hand tight for a second.

“Doesn't matter. You're mine now, not hers.” My chest swells as reality crashes into me. I'm dating Simon bloody Snow.

“I am. You're mine and I'm yours. That's all that will ever matter now.” He hums and leans his head back on the window, shutting both of his eyes.

“How did you realize?” I glance his way and he cracks open an eyelid to peer at me.

“The feelings came long before I realized.” He says, fidgeting with my fingers.

“I think that’s common.” I tell him and catch a smile out of the corner of my eye.

“Well, I think I’ve always had feelings for you but they really started to appear once we started talking,” Simon’s eyes are closed as if he’s reimagining the moments in his head. “There was this one time were like, deep down I must’ve known I was fucked and totally into you but I just like, kept saying it was just you  _ ‘plotting’ _ ...” He laughs lightly and I smile. “It was this one video of you-... Wait, I have it, hold on.” He fumbles with his phone, keeping one hand on mine the whole time. 

He scrolls a bit before he finds anything, turning the phone to me and I half watch it out of the corner of my eye. It’s of me, laughing hysterically and trying to say something but I can’t. “That?” I ask and he nods.

“Yeah,” He shuts it off. “Like, that video really messed me up! I couldn’t even think and my chest was tight. I actually watched it almost every night for a while. I’d never seen you laugh, hell… I’d never seen you  _ smile _ before,” He shakes his head. “It got so embedded in my head and I kept trying to push it off as plotting…” He trails off and I frown.

“But, how did you realize you liked me?” I ask again.

“It was that day that I was delusional sick and then you got sad and were saying you were going to…” He swallows. “You know, end it… And I  _ panicked _ . I realized that I needed you and that I didn’t want you dead, especially not at my hand… It was right after the last message you sent before I passed out. I was inconsolable and bawling and pretty much throwing a temper tantrum like a child to help you but my mother wouldn’t budge.”

“Your sister, I think, she sent a video of it happening and you were yelling and crying to your mother about how I was serious. It sobered me up and that made me not do it,” I explain. “Because I’m weak and in love.” I squeeze his hand again.

“That may be true but I like it,” Snow tightens his grip in return. “I was so sick that I accidentally just blurted out, in front of my mother and sister  _ ‘I think I’m in love with him’ _ ... I somehow played that off as _ ‘I think I don’t hate him, I’m just sick and don’t know what’s happening’ _ .” I laugh at that.

“They believed you?” 

“Sure did.” He snorts and my heart flutters. I honestly don’t know why but it makes me swoon.

I sit up straighter as I have an idea for where our date could be. “Hey! I am going to take you somewhere great but, I can’t tell you where yet, but trust me, you’ll love it!” I grin and he smiles back contently.

“Okay, my love.” He coos and swear I nearly have a heart attack.

We drive quietly for a while and I slip my hand from Simon’s and reach into the center console, grabbing a cigarette. I place it between my fingers on the steering wheel and light a flame in my palm, burning the tip of the tobacco before putting out the fire in my hand.

“Baz!” Simon gasps. “What the hell are you doing?! You’re flammable!” He scolds like Daphne.

“I’m fine,” I place it between my lips. “I only do this sometimes.”

Simon frowns. “Now you’re going to taste and smell like those damn things.”

“I know a spell.” I say as I blow a puff of smoke at him. He doesn’t even flinch, breathing it in and puffing more out. Snow has always been able to fuck around with smoke and fire. He can make smoke in his lungs and he can cast spells by thinking about them. “You little shit.” I grin and he blows a little stream of fire past his lips just to show off.

I flick some ash out the window and place it back in my mouth, taking another long pull, blowing rings out and Simon copies me. I flip him off and he blows a fire ring out and pulls it back in quickly.

“You’re an ass.” I say, tossing the cigarette out the window. Snow grins.

“What’s that spell to make you smell good?” 

“Fresh as a daisy.” I tell and he pulls his wand out of the side of the seat.

**_“Fresh as a daisy!”_ ** He casts and the smokey smell is gone. Other than Snow’s that is. Which I am very glad about.

I pull off the road and we’re surrounded by woods. “Are you bringing me out here to kill me or fuck me, Baz?” Simon jokes and I promptly choke on my own saliva. He pats my back to calm my coughing. “I’m sorry!” He giggles and I nod, clearing my throat.

“Christ, Snow.” I croak and he giggles even harder, like a small child. I stop at the edge of the cliffside. 

“Lovers leap? Baz are you going to try and pull a Romeo and Juliet with me?”

I cough again, grabbing my phone and setting up my usual playlist. I needed music in the background to drown out any awkward silence. “Shut up already.” I unbuckle, and slam my mouth to his. He is taken aback for only a second, grabbing my collar and locking an arm around my back. I groan as he tries to pull me closer and my stomach slams into the center console.

“Fuck… Sorry…” He grunts on my lips as I fumble over it and into his lap. We awkwardly squirm to a better position as the car door was digging into Simon’s back. We end up, me sitting in his lap, pushing him back against the seat, having learned it back a bit. 

He starts to run his hands up under that god-awful shirt he’d given me. I pull at his hair and he moans, I’ve found a kink I assume. His mouth moves from mine, kissing down my jaw and trailing my neck. Snow pops a few buttons on the shirt and clasps his lips over my markings. 

I moan, it’s loud and I don’t have to hide it and it feels amazing. “Simon…” I purr, leaning into his mouth. 

He pulls back for a second. “Let me know if this hurts.” And, before I can say anything, he bites me.

“Ow! Of course that hurts!” I snap and Simon starts to laugh.

“It was worth the shot!” He defends and goes back to sucking at my sweet spot. I’m making sounds that I would be too embarrassed to admit came from me.

His tongue runs up my neck and to the bottom of my ear, nipping at the lobe. I run my hands under his shirt and dig my nails into his back. He gasps and tosses his head back.

I take this opportunity to kiss him again, shifting higher up, pulling my legs so they wrap around him. He pulled his feet up onto the dashboard so that he’s almost like a backrest for me. Snow grips onto the back of my shirt and I take fist-fulls of his hair. We are a mess, kissing sloppily, desperately. 

Simon bites my lip, not in the hot way, the accidental way and I pull back. “Fuck! Snow!” I groan and he catches my face in his hands.

“I am so sorry!” He gasps and brushes my hair out of my face. “I didn’t mean to do that! Merlin, you’re bleeding! I’m sorry!” He frowns and I shake my head.

“It’s fine, Darling.” I grab my wand from the driver's seat, pointing it at my face.  **_“Stuck on band-aid brand.”_ **

Simon laughs, “I cannot believe that works!” He giggles and grabs the bottom of my shirt in both of his hands.

“I honestly don’t have a clue why it does.” I smile and he leans up, kissing me sweetly. I place a hand behind his neck to hold him in place.

Snow lets go of the shirt and his hands slide under it. His fingers run over my stomach and I tense and let out a whimper that I would also never admit to. I really am weak as hell for him.

Snow smirks on my mouth and starts to run his hands over my middle. Crowley. 

Shit.

My brain stops working, an error occuring within me and my mouth won’t hold the kiss. I pull away and lean my head down on his shoulder, panting like a dog. I shiver at his touch and I press my face into the crook of Simon’s neck.

I feel a laugh rumble in his chest. “This devolved from hot, steamy make-out session to you practically orgasming over a dog-like belly-rub.”

“Sorry,” I whimper unapologetically. “Fuck, Simon, you found my weakness.”

“One of many, sweetheart. One of many.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a playlist mentioned in this lovely chapter (Which would've been up hours ago if I wasn't like this) and I have created it, kinda.   
> Tell me songs you think should go in it and give her a listen - https://open.spotify.com/user/the-bandlife/playlist/0MFOr1n7iqg0Up3JfzjFgH?si=fsoNRDYZQIm4648-rEOvWw  
> I also have a few more to make so make sure to send me some good simon/baz songs!

#  Simon

Baz and I are laying in my living room after getting back. That was one hell of a date him and I had gone on. Now, I was laying on the couch and Baz was on his back on the floor, his legs were propped up on the couch, his calfs crossed over mine. 

“Psst, Snow.” Baz whispers and I glance down at him.

“Hmm?” I hum.

“Snow~,” He whispers again and waves me closer.

I groan and lean over. “What?” I ask and he waves me closer still. I have to put both hands on the floor to keep from falling.

“Snow!” He keeps his voice low and I groan at him.

“What, Baz?” I repeat. He smirks and wraps his arms around my waist and yanks me on top of him.

I gasp as I land on his chest and he laughs, kissing my temple quickly before freeing me. “Got you.” He beams at me. I roll my eyes and give him a shove, laying next to him, close enough that our arms brush. He shifts so his legs are over top mine again. I let him.

I find that as long as he’s close, as long as he’s touching me, he’s content.

“What’s one place you’ve always wanted to go?” Baz hums and brushes his fingers to mine.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of basic but I want to go to Fiji or some place like that,” I answer. “You?”

“Egypt. My mom was from there,” He says. “Not directly but, you know.”

“You would be dark-skinned, huh?” I murmur. I’d never really put two and two together. I’ve seen pictures of his mother and father before and it never occured to me that he wouldn’t be white - or well, grey. I couldn’t see him any other way.

“Yep. Beautiful color I was as a baby.” He bumps our fingers again.

“I like the way you look…” I breathe and catch a smile on his lips.

“You look better.” He tips his head to the side to look at me and I do the same. His eyes look green. He looks alive. I brush my knuckles to his cheek lightly and rest my hand on his chest, feeling his heart thud against his ribcage.

“I like you, Baz,” I coo. “A lot.”

He smiles contently. “I like you quite a bit too, Simon.”

I’m about to kiss him. “Simon! Baz!” 

We jump apart at the sound of my mother’s voice. “Yes, Mum!?” I shout back and Baz jumps at how suddenly loud I get.

“Dinner!” 

Baz and I groan, but, stand anyway.

“I haven’t seen either of you all day!” She says as we enter the room. “What have you been up to?” She sets two plates on the center island for the pair of us. We sit incredibly close, so close in fact, that our arms bump. He plants a hand on my knee. I can’t think.

“We went on a drive.” I answer as she hands Baz the bowl of pasta. He immediately hands it over to me.

“Baz, honey, do you not like pasta? I can make you something else.” Mother offers and it’s easy to tell that Baz is very unnerved by my mum for some reason

“Oh, Merlin, no, Ma’am. I just-... I-... Well, I don’t… You see, I don’t eat around people… I-... My fangs pop when I eat and-... I mean-!” He starts to turn red and stammer even harder. My mother chuckles at how flustered he is and I lace our fingers, successfully shutting him up instantaneously.

“Baz, it’s alright.” I smile to myself as I stuff a fork-full of pasta into my mouth. Baz leans in closer to me.

“You have the most horrible table manners, Darling.” He chuckles and I nearly burst at the word  _ ‘darling’ _ . I look at him and he looks at me, a smile forming on his mouth and Charlotte clears her throat. We both turn away quickly.

I need to kiss him. I nearly did just then.

“Mum, can we talk about something?” I blurt stupidly. I’m not thinking by this point.

“Yes, what about, Honey?” She smiles at me and my mouth is just moving without my knowledge by this point.

“About Bisexuality,” I speak. “Mine specific-...ly…” I freeze. Oh god. I can’t do this.

“Hmm?” She asks. “Simon, I’m not sure what that is?” I can see Charlotte giving me a wide-eyed ‘ _ I knew it! _ ’ look.

I’m no longer hungry and I can’t for the life of me, speak. I’m shaking. Baz clears his throat. “I-... If I may, Ma’am?” Baz starts for me and I’ve never been more thankful for him in my life.

Mum nods at him. “Of course, Basil.”

“Well, what Simon is trying to say is that, well, he likes, both-... Uh, boys  _ and  _ girls,” He explains. “Bisexuality is basically, um, bits don’t matter.”

I want to knock him out for that last comment, but I appreciate him so much. “Thank you…” I breathe and he squeezes my hand.

“So, you like, boys as well as girls?” Mum now asks me.

“Y-... Yes.” I nod.

“As long as you’re happy, sweetheart.” She smiles at me but my stomach is a mess and my chest is too tight. I can also feel the blood running through my body at rapid speeds.

I sit silently, trying to figure out how exactly to inform my mother that I’m dating the incredibly handsome vampire who happens to be sitting at my left side.

I’m not sure if I’m interrupting anything but, I speak anyway before I lose my courage. “I’m-...” Shit. “Baz and… We-... I-... So, I’m-, we-... Uh… Baz and I…. W- We’re…” 

And I can’t do it. 

I grip Baz’s hand tightly and shut my eyes just as forcefully as I will myself not to cry out of utter frustration. “Together…” He finishes for me and I keep my head down. He releases my hand and wraps an arm over my shoulders.

“Wow!” Mum sounds keen as I look up at her slightly. “Though, I kind of assumed as you two are not as subtle as you think, I can see you holding hands under the table and the whole, loving eye-contact thing.”

I get very red and hide my face below my hair as Baz awkwardly chuckles, muttering an apology and I can’t tell who he was saying it to.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” I mumble into my lap.

“Of course, Simon! I don’t care what you do as long as you're happy!” She pushes her chair out and hurries over, hugging her arms around myself and Baz, who seems to be very shocked by her touch.

“Are you going to make us sleep in separate rooms now?” I ask hopelessly.

“No! Of course not!” She lets us go. “Just don’t go getting Baz pregnant and if by some miracle, you do, make sure you marry him.” She jokes and I promptly choke on my saliva while Baz laughs so hard that he snorts. 

It’s so cute.

_ He’s _ so cute.

So, I kiss him.

***

We had gone up to my room and Baz was sat behind me, his legs criss-crossed around my middle and his face is pressed into my neck. He has an obsession with it, it's not much of a surprise since he's a vampire and all. 

I was on my laptop as Baz’s fingers explored my chest from under my shirt. “Baz, Hun, question.” I say, trying to pull back to make him stop making-out with my neck. 

“What?” He whines and his fangs run over my skin, making me shiver.

“What's your Spotify username?” I hum and glance at him.

“Why? Trying to steal my account?” He jokes.

“No, I wanna follow that playlist you had on in the car. You have a good taste in music.” I say and lean against him. 

“ _ You _ like punk music?” His brow furrows. All the stuff he had on in the car was punk-pop/rock stuff from the early 2000’s and it was pretty good.

“Yeah, I'm more of a techno-pop person myself but I dabble.” 

“Techno-pop? What the hell is that?” Baz chuckles and my hair gets into his mouth, making him choke.

“Like, Jon Bellion, AJR, that stuff.” I grin.

“Oh!” He laughs. “Okay,” He pulls my hair back, up into a ponytail with the elastic he had wrapped around his wrist. “Also,  _ please _ never cut your hair, I love it so fucking much.” He coos and I roll my eyes at him.

“What's your user?”

“Same as Snap.” He returns his mouth to my skin. 

I type it in and start looking through all of his playlists. “Baz,” I giggle. “What's the ' _ Simon Snow _ ’ playlist?”

He stops and I laugh. “Uh, I-... I dunno…” He mumbles awkwardly.

“Baz, there is  _ so _ much Harry Styles in here? Is his  _ entire _ album in here?” I scroll through.

He lunges to close the lid on my computer but I have it just out of reach. “Snow!” He cries like a child.

“Baz!” I mock with a laugh.

“Come on, Snow! Let me live!”

“You are not even alive, Baz.” I tease and he pressed his face into my shoulder, shouting something about me being not fair. “This is cute though, I like it.” I hum as he wraps his arms loosely around my shoulders. I lace our fingers together and feel him grin into my back.

“Do you really like it?” He mumbles.

“Of course, my love.” I kiss the back of his hand and his whole body tightens around me. I press play on it and a Harry Styles song comes on.

“They’re all songs that remind me of you.” He says shyly.

My heart flutters. “Why is there so much Harry Styles though?” I suppress a laugh.

“Listen, I have a thing for him, leave me be.” He defends and I chuckle.

“Okay, love,” I lean into him. “Whatever you say.”

He starts braiding my hair, mumbling the song to himself. I sigh after listening to about a song and a half in silence.

“Wanna make-out?” I ask and Baz lets out an exasperated groan.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He leans over my shoulder while I’m in the process of shifting in his grasp, kissing me. He sticks his bottom lip out and I suck at it, running my teeth over it gently, trying not to make him bleed again. 

Baz begins feeling me up, but when is he not? I run my hands up under his t-shirt and let my fingers graze his stomach. He gasps, our lips breaking apart for only a moment. I try to slide my tongue in his mouth but he doesn’t let me.

I pull back and scowl at him. “For fucks sakes, Baz, let me French you!” 

Baz falls back on my bed, laughing hysterically.

“Let me  _ French you _ ?” He wheezes and covers his face with his hands. “My  _ god.” _

“Shut up!” I whine and fall onto him, pushing my face into his chest. “You’re the one in love with Harry Styles like a prepubescent teenage girl!” 

“Hey!” He shouts, laughing. “I’m trying to make sure I don’t accidentally turn you!”

“Listen, I just want to stick my tongue in your mouth.” 

“But, my fangs are toxic, Stupid, we’ve been over this.” He titters giving me a fond grin. Baz starts kissing my face, any piece of open skin available to his smooth lips. 

“I don’t care,” I answer him and he ignored my response, finding the very edge of my jaw and sucking at that like a leech. I let out a small purr. “Back more…” I whisper breathlessly and he smirks, sliding to the soft piece of skin behind my ear, just below the lob.

I lose it and my hands balled into fists, my eyes roll back and I let out a way-too-loud moan. Baz clamps a hand over my mouth and pulls away, my hand lapses over his. My eyes are huge. Baz starts to hum with laughter, holding in childish giggles, though, he starts to full on laugh after a moment. It sends my heart into orbit, beating so hard and so fast that it feels like it’s not beating at all.

I bury my face in his chest as the door swings open. “Just because you’re out doesn’t mean you can have sex all the time!” Cherry yells and I sit up.

“We’re not though!” I say and she eyes me over.

“Tell those hickies that.” She puffs her cheeks out, spinning on her heel and slamming the door closed behind her.

I fumble for my phone and open my Snapchat, looking over the two dark markings on the side of my face that are now forming. It looks hot.

I bite my lip and Baz smirks. “People need to know you’re all mine.” And he returns to marking my skin with his lips.

I let him litter me with hickies and I play with his hair and I touch his skin that’s so fucking soft.

Baz drives me utterly crazy. Not in the way he used to. It’s better, he’s better. I like this, he’s not competing against me (unless we’re kissing, then it’s normally some kind of competition).

“Baz.” I mumble, lacing my fingers in his and he pulls away from my neck.

“Yes?”

“I'm falling asleep.” I say and ress my face down to his chest.

“We can make-out a bit to wake you up.” He coos.

“Baz, my love, my sweet, if you don’t let me sleep I will end you.” I mutter into his chest and I feel him kiss my forehead. 

**_“Clap off,”_ ** And the lights flick off. “Goodnight, Darling.”

“Goodnight, my love.”


	14. Black Nails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another playlist has been made!! I like this one a lot, it's calm and I think you guys may enjoy it!  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/the-bandlife/playlist/7gaaVU03plujNHBsOWoU68?si=pdnPTYdqRHipM6yg5PQs_A

#  Simon

I awake far earlier than Baz, shaken by a nightmare but, I’m much calmer in Baz’s arms than I usually am when I wake in a panic. I reach for my phone, needing something to clear the silence. I go to Baz’s Spotify page and find another playlist with soft music.

**_Progression is Regression._ **

The description on it is cute,  **_It’s Snowing. I’m freezing and the room is so hot that I don’t feel like ice anymore. Touch._ **

I shuffle-play the songs and place it back on the bedside table. A soft song comes on, I recognize it as something Baz used to listen to all the damn time. It’s good, now that I listen to it.

“I know this song.” Baz grumbles, mostly asleep still.

“It’s in your playlist you louse.” I hum sleepily.

“I Wanna Be Yours,” He nods. “This song was pretty much my anthem when I realized I loved you.” His voice is slured and soft. I kiss his mouth sloppily.

“You are mine.” I rest my face on his.

“I know.” I feel his smile as he says it and my head slides back to where it was over his heart.

I feel him breathing, his chest rising and falling against my head. Baz’s hand comed up and strokes my hair, running down over my back. My fingers tighetn on his shirt at how good it felt. His heart is beating stedily compared to all day.

I cup his face in my free hand, rubbing at his soft skin with my thumb. His heart beats fast again and I grin. I love him. I want to say it but that feels like a bit much to be telling him already.

“I like you a lot, my love.” I whisper and he smiles, tipping his face into the palm of my hand, kissing my skin.

“I think I like you most.” He coos, pulling his free arm around me tightly, so I can’t leave. I have no complaints.

“Don’t you think this is weird?” I ask, not really feeling weirded out by it but more realizing how crazy it is.

“What?” Baz’s grip falters.

“Like, we were enemies for seven years and suddenly were just kissing and sleeping in the same bed,” I say. “Not that I mind this. I like this better than fighting but, it’s just a bit queer.”

Baz laughs sleepily. “You’re right no matter what way you mean by the word queer.” 

“That sentence was barely English” I chuckle. “Go back to sleep, Babe.” 

Baz’s heart pounds so hard that I can feel it. “You just called me Babe.” His voice is so soft that I barely hear it.

“Because you’re my babe, my baby. You’re mine, my love.” I smile, running my hand up into his hair.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” He tells me. “You have no idea how many times I cried listening to this playlist. I’ve cried over  _ you _ so many times that I can’t even make a rough guess.”

“No more crying,” I hum. “No more tears because I’m  _ here _ . Nobody has to die or hurt anymore… Now, get some sleep, gorgeous.”

Baz kisses my thumb as I accidentally hit his lip while rubbing at his cheek. “That’s being hypocritical when you’re still awake.”

“I woke up from a nighmare, I’m trying.” I say.

“Why didn’t you wake me!?” He asks with big eyes as he shifts to look at me.

“I wasn’t panicking or anything, just startled, Baz. I’m fine. I just put music on to help slow my heart rate.” I chuckle, smiling at his worriedness.

“Oh, I didn’t really help then.” He grins at me, feeling my racing pulse.

“Yeah, not really,” I kiss his jaw. “But, you did make me feel safe.”

He pulls his arm tigher around me, the other still working with my hair. “You make me feel safe too…”

“Good.” I kiss his jaw again.

“Please get some sleep, Snow. And next time, wake me up when you have a night terror.” He presses a firm kiss to my forehead.

“I promise... But, you have to do the same.”

“I’ll try.”

#  Baz

I awak for a second time and sun is spilling through the window and pooling on a rumpled pile of clothes in the middle of the floor.

I’m cold. I realize that the covers had also slid to the floor.

I sit, dazed for a moment before I spot Snow’s pale bare-ass stood at the closet, looking for clothes. I cover my eyes and toss myself back to the bed before any kind of dirty thoughts can cause the sun to rise in the loose pajama pants that I had taken from Snow.

“Shit, Baz! You’re awake?” I hear fumbling and a drawer sliding open. It takes several moments before Snow speaks again. “Sorry, didn’t expect you to be up yet.”

“Christ,” I say and sit up. He is still not wearing a shirt. “Snow!” I scold and point at his bare chest and stomach and very,  _ very _ prominant v-line.

“What?” He looks down and brushes at his skin as if there may be crumbs on him.

“You are killing me.” I fall back to the bed.

“How?” 

“Can somebody be so oblivious?” I finish his partial question.

Snow sits on the bed next to my hips. “You make no sense, Baz.” He comments and I swing the pillow from under my head at him, hitting his chest and shoulder.

“I make perfect sense!” I groan and run my finger down his chest. 

Since I have no impulse control I sit up and start kissing at his collarbone. Simon laughs. “What has gotten into you?”

“You,” I grunt agaisnt his chest as I move downward. “For snakes sakes, those fucking hickies look so hot.” I comment after looking up at him from where I was in the middle of his chest. 

I break away and get on my knees, shoving him to the bed. He smiles and rolls his eyes at me as I strattle him. I lace our finger and pin his hands to the bed as I start kissing and sucking at his bare skin again. “You look so good.” He comments and I almost accidentally bite him.

I get to his stomach and he squirms, letting out a mix between a squeal and a high-pitched school-girl giggle. I have to bit my lip to stop from biting him again.

I reach just above his pants when somebody clears their throat and I fall off the bed and Simon sits up. I turn my head upward to look at the door. Charlotte is standing, arms crossed at the door.

“Simon, Mom wants you.” She stares at me as she says it.

“Oh, okay,” Simon stands and grabs a light blue shirt with slightly darker blue stripes that says ‘IDK’ on a little patch on his chest, pulling it over his head as he makes his way to the door. “I’ll be back.” He turns and smirks at me.

I sit up and go to find something in Simon’s wardrobe that I could bear wearing. I find a basic grey shirt with a little white heart embroidered into the chest. He also has a black hoodie with a white hood and white strings - tags still on it - in the closet. I also steal a pair of ripped, acid-washed jeans. I take a pair of smiley-face boxers from his drawer as well.

“Well, well…” I hear and jump. It’s not Simom, but it’s Charlotte. Good thing I was finished dressing.

“Charlotte, yes?” I say and sit on Simon’s bed.

“I don’t trust you.” She huffs.

“Oh… I-... Well, I’m sorry?” I mumble. “Any particular reason?”

“You’re a vampire and you’re all over my brother. You have a thing for his neck.” She frowns at me.

“I would never hurt Simon. I love him… A whole lot. I’ll try to get you to trust me somehow…” I hum, staring at my hands.

“Can I paint your nails?”

I look up at her. “What?”

“Can-... Can I paint your nails? They would look good black.”

“Yeah, sure… Why?” I ask.

“I want to be a cosmotologist,” She tells me. “I just-... Well, I’m not very good.”

“I bet you’re great.” I smile and she waves for me to follow after her.

She’s really a great girl. She just too withdrawn from people.

“Baz?” She says after painting about three of my nails. They look nice.

“Yes, sweetheart?” I smile. It was my defalt to call younger kids sweetheart and sweetie.

“How did you-... How did you realize you were… Um… Gay?” She doesn’t look up.

“I think I always knew. I tried to deny it because I wanted to carry on the Pitch name but girls just didn’t look appealing to me and I didn’t like the way they were I guess? And then, I met eleven-year old Simon and knew I was utterly screwed,” I chuckle to myself. “Why?”

“Because.” She shrugs.

“Honey, are you-”

“No!” She yells and pulls away from me.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell Snow anything we talk about.” I insist.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” She asks.

“I know things about Simon that I haven’t and never will speak to another soul.” I say to her.

“Tell me one.” She bites her lip.

“I won’t tell people.”

“Baz, just prove to me that you know something about him that nobody else could.” She begs me. It seems like she just needs to make sure that she has one person to speak to.

“Simon couldn’t read when I met him.  _ I _ taught him and never said a word to anybody about that. I’m telling you because I want you to know that I love him and that I wouldn’t spill your secrets to anybody else,” I say to her. “And, if you knew all the things that I was planning against him back then, you’d understand.”

She nods. “I kissed a girl,” She looks like she could start crying. “I really, really liked it and I don’t know what to do.”

“Do it again,” I nod. “That’s what I did and look where we are now. Charlotte, do what makes  _ you _ happy, fuck the rest of the world.”

She starts to laugh. “Thank you, Baz.” She goes back to doing my nails.

After a moment, I chuckle. “Was the girl hot?”

“God-like.” She smiles to herself.

“You go girl!” I cheer and laugh to myself.

“She likes me, Baz.” She’s grinning the way that I do when I look at Snow, or when I think about him.

“Charlotte, I think you may be in love.”

“I know I am.”

“Baz!” We both jump and she smudges the paint on the nail she was working on over my skin.

“With Charlotte!” I call back as she gets the paint off my skin. It was the last one she had to do and she pulls her wand out.

“Why?” Simon steps into the doorway.

**_“Dryer than the desert!”_ ** She casts at the same moment.

“I was letting her paint my nails.” I nod towards them.

“They should be dry.” She presses her index finger to one and pulls away, grinning.

“All set?”

“All set,” She beams. “Now, go take my brother on a date and show them off.” She pats my arm softly.

I smile at her. “Thank you for the fantastic manicure.” I pat her head as I stand.

“Anytime.” 

Snow and I make our way back into his room. “I see you found an outfit?” He smiles. “Those jeans look hot on you,” He grabs me by the belt loops, yanking me to him and pulling his arms around me. “Where were we?”

“At the point where I bring you out on a day-long, propper date!” I grin and kiss his neck.

“A date? “ He furrows his brow. “Where?”

“Not sure. Adventure date?” I smile as my eyes meet his.

“As long as I’m with you, every second is a date, my love.” He coos and we both make a face.

“Merlin, that was  _ gay _ .” I chuckle and let my head fall to his shoulder. Simon rests his chin on top and lets out a cute sigh.

“No, Baz,  _ you’re _ gay.” He smiles.

“Yes, and you are a Bicycle.” 

Simon laughs at my pathetic joke. “You are the only person that can get away with saying shit like that, I swear.” 

“Good.” I catch his face in my palms, kissing him firmly.

“Take me on a date you ass.”

“This is a date according to you.”

He gives me a shove. “You are such an ass.”

“You have such a  _ nice _ ass.” I grip his bum in my hands and he nearly jumps out of his skin. Simon smacks my chest.

“Don’t do that!” He giggles.

“I just can’t help it,” I grin. “Now, let me bring you on that date.”


	15. It's Agatha's Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this long chapter makes up for the slow updates!

#  Simon

Baz’s hands are linked with mine as we make our way down a beautiful street, lined with old buildings and over hung by gorgeous trees and flowers that flood the brick roads and sidewalks. I was in awe and Baz looked like he belonged here - other than the all black attire.

It’s calm and we’re sharing headphones to listen to Baz’s playlist. The song  _ ‘Train’ _ by  _ Brick + Mortar _ is on and it’s honestly pretty romantic. The song made me want to run away with Baz. I squeeze his hand and kiss him on the shoulder. I catch a smile on his face and his cheeks getting pink. I feel my heart swell and I get this feeling in my stomach that I’ve never had the pleasure of having before. It’s like a bomb exploded in my chest and the shrapnal hit everywhere else in my body.

But, it feels good. It’s this swell of utter happiness, looking at him and the way the noon-time sun brushed his grey-ish skin, making it nearly alive looking, orangy-yellow. Beautiful. I am in love and my heart is drowning out the rest of the world, humming and loud. I think that everybody can hear it.

I pull out my phone from my back pocket and take a picture of Baz like this. He looks over at me with a brow raised and a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, a small bit of his fang showing. I take another picture on that moment too.

“What are you doing?” He laughs.

“Admiring you.” I rub at the back of his hand with my thumb.

He smiles stupidly big and his face gets red. He holds his mouth open as if he were going to say it but, doesn’t, shutting it quickly.

He turns to look at the ground. “I like you.”

“I like you too.” I smile.

We fall into silence again, now ‘ _ 11 Blocks’ _ by  _ Wrabel _ is playing and my hand squeezes Baz’s. I can hear him humming and I swoon. Merlin, I love him.

“Baz?” 

We turn and there’s Dev, jogging our way. I pull my hand away and step back, my earbud being pulled out.

“D-Dev!” Baz stammers out of shock. A breeze washes over us and his hair flows into his face like a dark wave.

“Hey, you wanna come to the movies with me? Niall’s meeting me there and we haven’t seen you in forever!” He punches Baz in the arm in that annoying guy-way.

“I-...” His eyes flicker to mine for the flash of a second and I doubt that Dev noticed. “Can’t… I-... I’m busy. Sorry, I’ve already… Got… Plans.” Baz is crumbling.

“Doing what?” Had he really not seen Baz and I holding hands and rubbung up against one another?

“Just stuff.” He shakes his head. He’s panicking. I’ve never seen him lose his cool before.

I can see his Adam’s appls bob as he swallows forcefully. That’s when Dev’s gaze lands on me. “Snow,” He glares and realization dawns. “Baz are you hanging out with him?”

“I-...” Baz looks to me and I step in.

“He asked me to help him find something of his mothers. He knew my magic would be useful.” Baz’s tense shoulders slump with relief.

“Oh, really?” He snaps. “So, you’re  _ friends _ now?”

“No! God, no!” Baz jumps and I wince at how quickly he answered that. He notices and he lets out a heavy breath, breathing out and running his tongue over his teeth. “Yeah… We-...” He looks at me for a moment. “We’re on a date and, well, you’re ruining it.”

I have never seen anybody look so shocked and appaulled before. I hang my head at the sight. “You’re gay?”

“I am.” Baz nods solemly.

“Great,” He balls his fists as though he may hit Baz. “Disgusting.” He shakes his head and shoves past Baz.

“I’m so sorry.” I pull my arms around him and hope that this is the right thing to do. His shoulders shake and I hold him tighter, his face in the crook of my neck. I rub at his back.

And then, I hear his laughter.

I pull back and look at him and he’s  _ laughing _ . “What a fucking snake!” He speaks.

“Baz-... What the hell?”

“He’s so fucking fake, my god!” He holds my upper arms.

“You’re okay with that?” I gape and he cups my cheeks.

“Listen, I thought that I wasn’t, but, I saw how hurt you were by me saying we weren’t anything and I realized I only care about  _ you _ .” He kisses me, right there, in the middle of a crowded streets. I nearly say I love him, but, I can’t yet.

“I like you, Basil.”

“I like you the most, my Darling, Simon.” 

***

By three that afternoon we were starving and thankfully stumbled upon a cute little ice cream parlor called Whipped Cream and Cherry. Baz has been taking pictures of me for hours and I started taking some of him in return.

“Babe.” He says, trailed a little ways behind me.

I turn to him. “Yeah?” He snaps a picture.

“There.” He grins.

“Hold on!” I grab him and pull him close, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and on of him wraps around my waist. I pull up Snapchat and crash my lips to his cheek, taking a picture of us just like that. 

The picture is beautiful when I look at it, so I save it and place a bunch of heart stickers all over it with the caption,  **_My Love._ **

Baz leans his head on my shoulder and something about it just screams ‘ _ I love you _ ’ and I have never felt such an overwhelming urge to say anything before.

“Baz…” I clasp my fingers around his hand.

“I know.” He whispers.

I bump my head to his and he stands straight. “Let’s get ice cream.”

***

Baz’s arms are around me as he walks, pressed agaisnt me as he sucks at his Oreo ice cream on a sugar cone while I licked mine like a normal person.

“What flavor did you get?” Baz asks.

“Pistachio.” I answer and he makes a face.

“Gross,” He leans in towards it. “Let me try,” I roll my eyes as he sucks on it for a moment. He looks up at me with big eyes. “Shit! That’s good!”

“Get your own!” I laugh as he tries to get another bite.

He frowns at me. “Simon!” He whines.

“You called it gross, eat your own, you ass.” I grin and he gives me a faux-pout.

“Fine!”

“You are such a drama-queen, love.” I link my hand with his free one and we continue walking through the fantastic area. I just want to make out with him right here but I can’t because we’re in public and that’s not socially exceptable. It’s also even less exceptable because we’re a gay-couple.

#  Baz

I dragged Snow into a bookstore somehow. It’s an amazing feat. I’ve never seen him read anything since I taught him how, well, other than school things that is.

“Baz.” Simon grabs my arm and thrusts a book out to me. 

“The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue?” I read off the cover.

“You need to read it.” He presses it to my chest.

“Why?”

“I’ve read my copy so many times it’s falling apart.” He tells me.

“Seriously?” I ask and take it, thumbing through the pages and then turning to read the description. 

“Yeah, when I was freaking out over being Bi this book really like, it made me feel okay,” He explains. “Actually, I’ll buy this for you.” He takes it from me.

“No, I can pay for it.”

“You paid for my ice cream and for gas so I will buy you this.” He insists and I groan.

“Fine but, I pay for dinner,” I cross my arms. Simon bites his lip, a soft growl forming in his chest. I grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him firmly. When I pull back, he looks shocked. “Don’t bite your lip and growl if you don’t want me to kiss you, Darling.” I pat his cheek. He rolls his eyes and makes his way to check-out.

I follow after him. The lady at the counter smiles as we step up. “Hello! How are you two today?” She beams.

“I’m pretty great, and you?” Simon asks.

“Very well!” And she looks my way, “How are you, sir?”

“Amazing, thanks.” I nod. 

“How can I help you?” She keeps her gaze steady on me. I hum after a moment.

“Oh, I’m all set, he’s just buying a book.” I say, placing a hand on Simon’s shoulder. Sshe nods and looks his way. He places the book on the counter.

“Just this.” He says and she gives a hum in reply.

“What have you been up to on this wonderful day?” Coos the girl at me.

“Just seeing sights.” I shrug. Simon glances at me and I surpress a laugh.

“Well, if you’d like, I could show, uh…” Her eyes flick to Simon for s quick second. “Take  _ you _ out… And show you around…”

“What a doll.” I smile at her and place my arm around Simon’s shoulders. 

“Your friend can come along too.” She offers unwillingly.

Simon hands her the money he owes. “I wouldn’t want you to feel like a third-wheel, Honey.” I say and she tips her head, bagging the book.

“Why would that be?” She hands Simon his bag.

“Darling, we’re on a date.” I say to her and she flushes.

“My god! I am  _ so  _ sorry!” She hurries to busy herself, distracting from how utterly embarrassed she is. Simon is forcing laughter back and presses his face into my arm.

“It’s alright, Honey. Simple mistake,” I coo. “Have a lovely rest of your day!”

She burns more and mumbles something that even I can’t hear.

I pull Simon outside and he bursts into a fit of laughter. He looks wonderful, hand over his mouth to try and hide his obserdly loud giggling. His eyes squint at the sides and, Merlin, he looks so happy.

I pull my arm around his waist, drawing him into my side and I plant a kiss on his temple. “My love.” I breathe and pull a loose strand of hair from his eyes. He links our hands and kisses me.

“My love.” He repeats as he caresses my cheek.

I pull him to follow me. “Lets shop, I want to buy you stuff!” I grin. I want every penny I have to go to him. I want  _ everything _ to be for Simon.

“Baz!” He groans. “I feel bad letting you buy me stuff!” He whines.

“Too bad. I want to get you nice things.” I pull him into a store as he drags behind in protest.  

I start to wander the store and Simon looks at some vintage stuff by the door. I find a set of phone cases, the cheesy couple ones and I sift through a few before finding ones that Simon would hate but I couldn’t resist getting them. They had two hands with their pinkies linked between the two and one’s nails were painted black which was perfect. It said ‘ **_Always you._ ** ’ on the bottom below the hands.

It’s kind of stupid since we’ve been together for just about two days. It’s also crazy to say but I think that Snow really will be my forever. 

I grab a pack of those stupid hair-tie bracelet things because I had nothing to tie mine up with before going to pay.

I find Simon back where he was when I left him. “Hello, Darling.” I say as I hand him one of the phone cases.

He looks up at me. “Really?” I catch his mouth trying to tug into a grin. I nod at him and he groans as he pulls his phone from his pocket. “It’s been two days and we’re already  _ that _ couple.” He says as he snaps the case on and I do the same.

“Exactly.” I kiss him and he smiles on my mouth, making me smile too.

He brushes a hand over my cheek before pulling back, his fingers tangling in my hair. “Crowley, you better never cut your hair.” He says and I show him the hair-ties.

“I’ll have to at some point but, it’ll never be really short. Promise.”

“Good.” He slides his hand down to mine and we step back out into the warm summer day. The sun was beginning to set and it was nearly time for dinner.

“Where do you want to eat?” I ask and Snow looks my way.

“Somewhere outside.” He hums and leans his head on my shoulder. I drop his hand and wrap my arm around him, pulling him closer.

“Anything for you, Darling.”

“Wait, are you alright? The sun bothers you doesn’t it?” He frowns.

“I’ll be fine. Just stings a little.” I shake my head and he pulls away from my side, taking my hand and dragging me into a store.

“I have an idea but you’ll probably hate it.” Simon says, prompting a groan from me.

“What are you doing?”

Simon pulls me to a section of women’s hats and he plucks a huge black one off the shelf and drops it onto my head. He giggles lightly and pushes my hair back with a smile on his face. “You look cute, Babe.”

He takes his phone out and I swat at it. “Snow! Stop that!”

“Just one!” He giggles and catches my hands in one of his, my face going red as I turn away. His camera clicks and I soon get a notification of from Simon on snapchat. “It really  _ is  _ cute, Baz.” He hums and leaves a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“I feel like I look awful.” I sigh.

“No worse than usual.” Simon smirks and I smack him on the shoulder.

“Ha-Ha, very funny.” I take it off and he frowns at me sadly.

“Baz!” He whines at me, placing his hands on mine.

“I feel like a complete dolt, Snow.” I huff and Simon sighs at me reluctantly.

“We could get an umbrella but do you really think that holding that all the time would be more fashionable?” He asks and quickly I nod back.

“Yes! God, yes!” I gasp.

“Fine.” His cheeks puff as he looks sadly up at me, putting it back.

“Does it really look good?” I ask and he seems to perk up, mimicking my fast head-nodding from a moment ago.

“Gorgeous! You looked like a beautiful, very-gay prince.” He coos lovingly at me and I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.

“Thank you, Precious.” I chuckle and let him put it back on me, looking in the mirror at it. Snow is right about it not looking bad.

“Do you like it?” Simon asks, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“I think I may?” I mumble and tug at one of the floppy edges.

“Good.” He snags it from my head and scurries ahead of me to pay for it. I would protest but I truly do not want to cause a scene over a woman's had.

I wait off to the side for Simon to pay the cashier, an attractive boy around the age of sixteen from what I can tell. He talks with Simon and Simon makes him laugh. Old jealousy flares, just like when I saw him with Agatha.

Simon points at me and the kid’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and nods, smiling and laughing. They exchange a few more words as my anger continues to boil before Simon returns to me, dropping the hat on my head. 

His grin drops as he notice my tightness. “What?” He asks.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t tell me you’re mad I was making conversation with him.” Simon’s voice is irritated and low, arms folding over his chest.

“A little bit. He was flirting with you.” I scowl.

“Christ, Baz! He’s barely hit puberty, calm the hell down,” He snaps and I roll my eyes at him. “Don’t fucking roll your eyes. You let that girl go on until you  _ had  _ to tell her you didn’t want her.”

“I’m gay and she was a girl. It was obvious I was going to let her down.” 

“Doesn’t mean it’s okay with me! What the hell does that even matter? At least I let him know I was taken right away!” He hisses.

“Whatever.” I shake my head and pull the hat off, storming from the store. Simon huffs and follows after me.

“Knock it off, Baz. You’re being such a child!” He grabs me by the back of my shirt, trying to slow my pace.

“You don’t get it so drop it.” I try to smack his arm away from me but miss.

“Stop being a fucking child and I will.” He insists and I stop walking abruptly, causing him to slam into me, stumbling back slightly as I turn to look at him.

“It’s kind of hard to do when I had to watch you love Agatha!” I shout at him, getting a few sideways glances from passers by. “Simon, watching her look at you the way that guy just did but for like  _ six years _ … It  _ wrecked _ me. So, stop calling me a child for feeling like you’ll leave. I know that you’ll be the one leaving because you are the only person I’ve ever felt anything for,” Simon stares at me, shocked slightly and I continue. “Listen, Snow. I-... There’s nothing out there for me. My family sucks, my mom’s dead…  _ I’m _ dead… Never did I see a future with both of us living and never did I see a future that you didn’t survive in. You were and still are everything that I have.”

Simon cups my cheeks in his palms and steps closer to me. “ _ I’m sorry, _ ” His voice is soft and he rests his head against my shoulder. “I never knew...”

“It’s not something I expected you to know.” I say and Simon takes the hat out of my hand and puts it back on my head.

“Lets not real fight anymore, I don’t like it,” He mumbles. “I’m sick of fighting. We’ve had enough.”

“We needed at least one couple one. It means that we’re real.” I claim and link our hands.

“Sorry for being an ass.” Snow pushes my hair off my shoulders.

“I’m sorry for reacting so poorly, Darling.” I kiss the top of his head and he smiles at me.

“Can we get dinner now? I’m starving.”

I laugh loudly, smiling hugely at him. “Of course you are!”

“Are you saying I’m fat?” He jokes as we start walking again, searching for a bistro of some kind.

“No, I’m saying that I adore you and that you are always thinking about food.” I answer and dramatically kiss his temple.

“I adore you too, my love.”

***

We ate at a small place called The Rouge Lips. It was quiet and nice, covered in pink flowers from a nearby tree. It was very romantic if I say so myself.

After, we decided to go on a drive out of town and into the countryside. The streets are lined by trees and fields. I loved drives like this, out in the middle of nowhere. We have the music playing and his hand is on my knee, rubbing circles with his thumb against the exposed skin poking out from the rip. This moment makes my chest swell. I am so in love. I never want this day to end. It’s perfect other than the fight.

“I want to stay here forever.” Snow says, making me jump.

“Crowley, I was  _ just _ thinking the same thing.” I let my head fall back onto the headrest.

“If only there were a spell for  _ that _ . I would give anything to have that right about now.” He purrs. 

Simon pulls his legs up to sit criss-crossed. “Me too…” I murmur back. “May I say, you look stunning with those hickies.” I reach over and run a hand over the marks on his neck that he didn’t bother to cover with anything but his hair.

“I’m giving you some later, love.” Simon grins and squeezes my knee.

We spot a clearing in the woods and pull over. It’s a walking path. “We should go down it.” I toss my door open.

“What if-”

“Snow, I am a vampire and you have magic.” I don’t even need to hear his question.

He puffs out a sigh and groans at me. “Fine. If I die, you’re not invited to the funeral.” He opens his door and slides out, removing his hand from my knee.

We rejoin each other at the opening and tangle our fingers together.

The path is gorgeous and we end up taking pictures of everything - including each other - to capture the beauty of this moment. I also enjoyed throwing flowers I plucked from bushes at Simon and taking pictures of that. 

The trail suddenly opens and we’re surrounded by flower bushes that lie on the ground before a crystal clear lake. Both Snow and I look at it in awe for a while before we move to sit in the lush, green grass together. I start to pull various types of flowers from around me, weaving the stems as Snow watches. I magic the weaved bits together with  **_‘stuck like glue_ ** ’. It works surprisingly well. 

Soon, I have a gorgeous crown created with purple, pink and yellow flowers. I drop it onto Simon’s head and take his hand. “A king needs a crown.” I say and plunk my head down onto his shoulder and my hat flops off into my lap.

“That means you need one.” Simon knocks his head on mine.

“No, I’m no king.” I answer.

“Snapchat says otherwise, my sweet.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“Make me one then.” I sit up and scoot so I’m in front of him and I lay with my head in his lap.

He smiles and starts pulling at flowers. It takes a bit and I doze while he works, awaking to him playing with my hair. I leave my eyes closed, the feeling was too good to move. He had hands of magic. He notices me stir and gives my hair a tug. I open my eyes to meet his.

“I finished it.” He says.

“Let me see.” I shift and sit up, turning around to face him.

“I don’t like it.” He frowns and hands it to me. It’s made of tiny pink flowers, beautiful ones. The crown is gorgeous and I’m stunned.

“Simon, this is beautiful.” I mumble as I put it on my head.

“Eh,” He gives me a shrug and I kiss him. “It looks beautiful on you.” 

I pull out my phone and yank Snow into me, he falls into my lap and looks up at me with surprise. “Every king needs a photoshoot.” I kiss his temple and take a picture like that. Simon’s eyes are turned to look at me and his lips are pulled into a smile like no other.

**_Boys with crowns are kings in disguise._ **

I add a bunch of cheesy hearts to it and send it to everybody, after saving it of course. 

Simon starts kissing my neck and I take pictures of that as well. I take more of us just smiling and some of us kissing. I take so many I’m surprised my phone didn’t die on me.

By the time we’re done, it’s dark out.

“Let's go home.” Simon yawns.

“Let's look at the stars instead.”


	16. Vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are getting a l o t of Baz in the next few chapters. you're welcome

#  Baz

Simon and I spend most days together. Whether it’s just laying in bed or going out on an adventure of some sort, we’re together. We bicker and argue over stupid things but we never seem to fight. We do everything together it looks like. Everything but go to my house. 

Father knows that I’m hopelessly queer, as does Daphne. Neither of them know that I’m only in love with Simon Snow though. The Mage may have been killed in our second year but, my family still hates him. That’s why I’m panicked about the annual vacation. I can’t go away without Simon for nearly three weeks to Oxford and I can’t bring him either. I also don’t know if we could spend every second together for three whole weeks. I mean, even at Watford we spend less time together and we  _ live  _ together there.

I’ve been trying to get out of the damn vacation for weeks now. Simon and I need to spend our one month together, I have plans and everything set up for it but if I’m on vacation, I’ll miss it.

“I don’t know! I can’t get my parents to let me bail! ‘ _ It’s tradition Basil!’ _ is all I’ve heard all week!” I groan to Simon. We video chat every night before bed and we also haven’t seen each other in almost a week. I was having withdrawls.

“Why don’t I just come up for the day?”

“No!” I instantly snap.

“Baz.” He frowns at me and his head falls to the left, his damp curls flopping in his eyes. He blows a puff of his breath up to shoo it from his face.

“No, Simon,” I cross my arms. “Not going to happen.”

“Why not!? I want to meet your family too, ya know!” His face gets a little red with frustration. I assume mine is more red than usual. I drained a deer not long before calling him.

“They don’t like you, Simon! You’re part of the Mage, they fucking hate him and they don’t want you here unless it’s for me to harm you and I  _ won’t _ let anything happen to you.” I hiss and Simon looks shocked.

“I fucking hate the bastard too! I’m not a  _ ‘part’ _ of him. I’m ashamed that I even have to be related to him, that’s why I took my mother’s last name when I found everything out.” He looks angry and I’m not sure what part set him off.

“They don’t care, Snow. You’re part of him,” I huff and he puffs his cheeks out. “In their eyes, not mine. Fiona loves you!”

“Whatever. Doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head and his curls bounce. I loved when his hair was still slightly damp because his curls were curlier and it was adorable.

“It does matter.”

“No.” 

“Simon, I want to take you with me more than anything but, you staying alive is more important to me, okay?” I speak and he ignores me. “Christ, Snow… What am I supposed to do? Let them hurt you?”

“Give me a chance.” He mumbles.

“Darling, it’s not you. It’s them,” I say. “If it’ll make you not hate me, I can set up a double date with Fiona and Nico.”

“I thought you hated him.”

“I do, but I don’t hate you, Simon.” 

“Well, you’re missing our one month, Baz. It doesn’t make up for that.” I know I’m hurting him but, at least he’s alive.

“I’m trying, Baby.” I frown.

“You’re leaving the  _ day of _ .” His voice cracks and it hurts me, almost as if he’d stabbed me in the chest and stomach at the same time.

“Please don’t cry.” I breathe, pleading with him.

“I’m fine,” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Agatha never even remembered our anniversary… I shouldn’t be so upset over it.”

“I’m trying still. Don’t worry.”

“I miss you.” He says and my heart sinks.

“I can come right now.” I tell him, sitting up.

“It’s okay…” He looks to the door. “Mom has company and I don’t feel like having to show off my boyfriend to everybody and explain how I’m not gay… I just don’t feel up to it.”

“I can take you for a drive.”

“Baz, I don’t want you to see me cry, okay?” He snaps. “Sorry…”

“Please don’t cry, Simon. We can celebrate the night before.” I try to make him feel better. He bites down hard on his bottom lip and shuts his eyes.

“No… It’s okay…” He forces his voice to stay flat.

“Darling, we can celebrate every other anniversary,” I say. “I’m heartbroken over it too but, we have infinity.”

“It’s not just the damn anniversary, Baz!” His voice shatters and I shut my eyes. “Fucking-hell… Baz, I don’t care that you can’t be here for that day! We can celebrate any time… It’s that your family hates me and that you won’t let me meet them and-... And it’s that we can’t have a future like this. I can’t just be a secret forever…” Tears slip from the corners of his eyes. “I-... It feels like you’re ashamed of me,” His lip shakes and a strangled sob slips out. “I don’t want to be a nuisance anymore.”

I cry now too. “Fuck, no… Darling… I l-... I-... You’re not what I’m ashamed of. I-... Let me talk to them before you come and meet them. Let me break the news to them and then I’ll figure it out, okay?” I stare at the screen, he’s covering his mouth with his hand and he has his eyes crushed shut and his eyebrows are nearly knitted together in the center.

He nods and hiccups. “Baz, I want a future with you. I don’t want things to end… Ever.” He opens his eyes, brimmed with tears.

“They never will, Simon.” I shake my head lightly and he hiccups again.

“Good.” He sniffs and wipes his nose on his sleeve.

“You look tired.” I comment and he nods.

“I’ve had really bad nightmares the past few nights, haven’t slept really.” He admits.

“Simon… How many times do I have to tell you to call me when you have them?” I sigh. “I’ll talk to you until you’re not scared anymore- hell… I’ll come to be with you if you need.”

“I’ve been having panic attacks so, I just don’t.” He keeps his eyes off the screen.

“I’m here to help, love,” I assure him. “What’s been causing them?”

“Death… My aunt died.”

“Christ, Simon… I’m so sorry.” I wince.

“I wish that I could hold your hand like I do at Watford.” He mumbles.

“I can come be with you.” I offer and he shakes his head.

“It’s okay.”

“Well, you have to call me if you have another night terror tonight, okay?” I bargain. “You really need rest and I’m going to plan a date with Fiona and Nico for tomorrow.”

“Okay, I promise.” He sniffles.

“I’ll let you rest, okay?”

“Okay…” He mumbles.

“Goodnight, Beautiful.” I coo and he says something back, garbled with sleep and then his phone tips to his chest. I hang up and start making plans with Fiona.

***

Simon called at nearly three in the morning. He was crying and told me just to tell him a story or talk to him, as long as he could hear my voice. 

One thing that stuck out to me was just before falling asleep he started talking nonsense. 

_ “Baz, Baz… Never stop talking… I want the sound of your voice to be etched into my skin.” _

I don’t know what he means by that but I take a picture of the sky above me.

**_“I want the sound of your voice to be etched into my skin.”_ **

I put it on my story and head in, climbing directly into my bed and ignoring Daphne’s speaking to me as I pass through the kitchen. I don’t care what she has to say to me. I have better people to hear. People that don’t resent me.

I love Simon and I’m not going to let this shithole of a family tear us apart. I know my mother wouldn’t mind him. She would mind my fangs but not Simon.

***

It’s nearly noon when I finally awake. Simon’s up already and he messaged me a couple times on Snapchat. For a horrid second, I forget he’s mine and my heart aches. I look at the pictures he sent.

**Good morning, my Love.** It’s his matted bed hair and his bright blue eyes, lined with sleep. I smile dreamily at it and screenshot it.

The next one is of a breakfast plate that makes my stomach growl. I’m starving. I forgot to eat dinner last night. 

The caption on it reads;  **Come for breakfast?**

I reply with a picture of myself yawning and stretching on my bed,  _ Breakfast at Tiffany’s? _

I get up, my feet cold against the old, wooden flooring. I thud down the stairs lazily and glide into the kitchen, grabbing an apple off the counter. I shove it onto my fangs when my phone buzzes with a new message from Simon.

**Breakfast at Snow’s (with Baz) sounds better tbh.** It’s of his feet in the shower and I laugh, getting a picture of my apple and fangs.

_ In what universe? _

“Bal.” My sister Mordelia tugs at my baggy shirt. All of my siblings call me Bal because they can’t seem to figure out the name Basil.

“Yeah?” I slur and pull the apple from my fangs.

“You’re going to rip your teeth out doing that.” She says and grabs a banana. It’s horrifying how much she acts like me.

“Good.” I huff and take an actual bite of the apple this time.

“I hear Dev and Niall aren’t coming with this year?” She hops onto a chair and I pull myself to sit on the counter.

“Thankfully not.” I tear another chunk of the apple out, it makes a satisfactory crunching sound.

“Thankfully? Aren’t they like, your only friends?” She cocks her head to the side.

“No. I’ve got a couple others.” I answer, another crack bouncing across the quiet room.

“Are they who you’ve been hanging out with recently?” She takes a small nip at her banana.

“Father and Daphne put you up to this, didn’t they?” I groan.

“No! If they wanted answers do you really think they’d have me do it? They could literally just snoop through your phone.”

“Guess you’re right, but, yeah.” I nod.

“I also noticed you’ve been listening to that lovesick playlist of yours again, but a lot more often,” She takes another delicate bite. “But, you’re not mopey anymore. I’ve never seen you happy before and it’s kinda freakin’ me out.”

“I’m not sad and watching the person I love, love somebody else anymore.” I say and let out a breath of refreshment.

“Wait, are you dating somebody?” She asks and I go fantastically red and smile like an idiot, shaking my head at her.

“No, Merlin, no!” My voice is unconvincing.

“Who!? I have to meet the man that made  _ you _ smile.” She says.

“No one.” I insist.

“Invite him with us on vacation! Awe, a romantic getaway for the two of you!” She coos and I hush her.

“Shut it, Mordelia.” I hiss and she looks shocked.

“What?” She asks. “You’re  _ happy _ , Bal.”

“I-... They hate him.” I hum and she gives me a confused glare.

“Who?”

“Is it snowing out?” I say to give her a not too obvious hint. She doesn’t get it and gives me a furrowed look.

“What? Baz, stop avoiding-”

“Mordelia. Is it  _ Snowing _ ?” She continues to stare at me. “Merlin…” I huff. “ _ Simon _ says it’s  _ Snow _ ing.”

Her eyes light up. “Baz! Are you insane!?”

“I’ve been crazy for him since second year.” I slump down and take another bite of my apple.

“Father is gonna kill you!” She whisper/yells at me and I nod.

“I love him so I don’t care what happens to me as long as he’s safe,” I sigh. “I always saw me dying but at his hand, not for him. Either way, he’s the only one that will see the future I assume.”

Mordelia hugs my leg. “He makes you happy.”

“He hates the Mage, you know? The Mage was a snake and even Simon hates him.” I sigh.

“That sucks. Mum and Father hate him for something he isn’t even a part of.”

“I’m going to try and explain that to them. Maybe they’ll let me stay with him. It’s our one month the day we leave.”

“That’s in three days.” She says.

“I know.”

“I hope you get to be with him.”

“Me too…”

***

I’m at Simon’s door at five to pick him up, bouquet of lilac roses in hand. His mother answers the door and smiles at me. I’m wearing the acid-wash ripped jeans that I stole from Simon with a pink Gay and Tired t-shirt and a flannel that was also stolen from Simon.

“Hello, Basil. You look so handsome tonight!” She coos as Simon enters the room in his cute maroon shirt with a little mountain on the chest.

“He always looks handsome.” Simon smiles.

“Well, hello, Gorgeous,” I grin in return and grab him around the waist with my free hand. “I don’t think I got you nice enough flowers to match your utter beauty, my love.” I plant a gentle kiss to his mouth and he’s beaming.

“You should stay over tonight.” Simon offers and kisses my jaw.

“Don’t tempt me.” I say as his mother places a hand around the bouquet.

“I’ll go put these in a vase.” She says and takes them from me. My hand goes to his waist as soon as it’s free.

Simon hums a thank you and wraps his arms around my neck. “I have to talk to my parents about us.” 

“Do it tomorrow.” Simon kisses me.

“I want to.” I say.

“So, do it. I want to spend time with you.”  Simon starts to kiss my neck and his hand goes up my shirt.

“Okay, okay,” I chuckle, grabbing his hand before I could turn into a drooling dog. “I’ll stay the night, after our double date of course.”

“Double date?” His mother asks as she returns, placing the vase on the coffee table.

“My aunt Fiona and her boyfriend Nico.” I explain and her face lights up.

“Nicodemus Petty? Oh! God, you’re related to Fiona Pitch!? Your mother must be-...” She stops but I smile at her.

“Natasha, yes.”

“She was a lovely woman. I used to also spend a lot of time with your aunt until I met Davy.” She coos and Simon flinches at the name.

“I think I saw a picture of you with Fiona before.” 

“Probably,” She smiles. “Tell her I say hello.”

“Will do!” I confirm as I grab Simon’s hands. “Shall we?” I start to guide him to the door and he falls forward, latching his arms around my waist and his face going into my chest. I laugh and he glances over at his mother.

“Bye, Mum! Be home later on!” He laughs as he pushes me out the door.

“Simon.” I hum and kiss him. 

“Yes, my dear?” He coos.

“Your car or mine?” I ask and Simon looks over to mine. 

“Whoa! Yours!” He lets go of me and dashes towards it.

“And like that, my boyfriend has abandoned me.” I chuckle to myself as he clambors into the passenger seat.

I slide into the driver’s side and Simon attaches himself to my arm, his head resting in the crook of my elbow. “For once, I’m not the clingy one.” I laugh, ruffling his hair.

He kisses my skin, eyes closed.

“Are you sleeping?” I smile.

“Yes, shut up.” He grumbles into my skin.

“Okay, Darling. You sleep, I’ll drive.”

***

Fiona was very awkwardly and blatantly interrogating Simon. I try and cut her off after every question but she’s ignoring both vampires in the room tonight. Simon answers everything honestly.

“When is you and Baz’s anniversary?”

“Uh, August first but, we started talking on June twelfth.” Simon says.

“Your one month is on Baz’s birthday?” Fiona quirks a brow and I groan.

“Your birthday’s the first!? You didn’t even tell me!” Simon elbows me in the ribs and Nico wraps his arm over Fiona’s shoulders, pulling her into him.

“You don’t know your own boyfriend’s birthday?” Fiona glares.

“I don’t know his either so it’s okay,” I chime. “We have summer birthdays so it never came up.” 

“Now I only have two days to find you a gift you jackass,” He grumbles. “And, mines June twenty-first.” 

“I didn't get  _ you _ anything so you can't get  _ me _ anything.” I retort.

“You didn't know, I do, so, therefore, I am obligated to get you something amazing. I have an anniversary gift already, but, I still need a birthday gift now.” He huffs, puffing his cheeks out and letting his head fall onto mine.

“Ugh.” I grunt at him.

“So, Baz, I hear you're one of my kind.” Nico flashes his fangs at me and I nearly hiss at him.

“No. I'm not. I didn't choose something so stupidly. I was a child and had no means of defending myself. I was  _ unwilling  _ turned. I will never be ' _ one of you _ ’.” I sneer and wrap my arms around Simon as he grabs a fry off is plate and sticks it in his mouth.

“I just want to live forever, Pitch.” He scoffs and I bare my teeth at him in anger.

“Lucy Salisbury says hi, by the way.” I snap, both at Fiona and Nico.

Fiona's eyes widen at the name and Nico's jaw drops. “She's dead. Don't you dare speak like that.” Fiona nearly impales me with her sharp tone.

“No she's not.” Simon sits up from leaning on me.

“She died when we were still attending Watford.” Nico mumbles, suddenly less coy.

“No.” Simon's voice is tense and harsh.

“How would you know, kid?” Nico glares hard at Simon.

“That's his fucking mother you twat.” I almost spit at him. Merlin, I would  _ love _ to spit at him.

Both Fiona and Nico exchange a look. “It's true. She told us to say hi before we left.” Simon's cheeks puff again.

“That's impossible. Davy said she was killed in an accident.” Fiona mumbles and Simon flinches hard at the name.

“She wasn't. She was unmarried and pregnant with me and she had to hide because my father is a coward and didn't want myself or my mother to be known of and he wouldn't marry her.” He slumps against me and I kiss the top of his head.

“It's okay, little puff.” I coo. Simon giggles as he always does when I quote my mother.

“You’re my little puff.” He squeezes my knee.

I kiss his temple and my eyes wander up to Fiona and Nico. “I’m glad you’re happy.” She says genuinely.

I smile back at her and kiss Simon again.


	17. 102 Scraps Of My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE A WEEK, I'VE HAD LIKE NO FREE TIME!!  
> BUT! I MET MACKENZI LEE LAST NIGHT AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER URRNIJFREUO ANYWAY HERE IS THIS VERY SHIT CHAPTER!

#  Baz

It’s late the next evening when I return home. Daphne and Father are at the table in the kitchen, it’s absolutely disgusting as they feed each other ice cream from the same bowl. At least Snow and I have the decency to eat from seperate bowls.

I swallow forcefully as it’s now or never. The thing that freaks me out abiut all this is that after coming out to him he flipped out and a few weeks later I told him it was just a phase because I couldn’t handle it. It was before he met Daphne and he was still greiving over Mother I believe. I’m hoping things will be less terrifying this time.

I clear my throat as I step into the room and Father looks over at me and Dahpne jumps. “Merlin, Basil! You scared me.” She clutches a hand over her chest.

“Sorry.” I puff. I really need a cigarette.

“What would you like, Basil?” Father chimes and I feel like I could throw up with nerves. My hands shake as I pull out a chair, only sitting because my knees were so weak that I would collapse if not. I sit backwards on it, leaning forward on the backrest.

“I-... “ My voice fails me and I clear my throat again. “I don’t want to go on the vacation.” I swallow.

“We’ve been over this. Drop it.” Father snaps.

“Let me finish, damnit!” I shout and even he jumps at the outburst.

“Basilton!” He scolds.

“I don’t want to go unless I can bring somebody.” I bite my tongue.

“Are you done fighting with Niall and Dev then?” He asks, that damned edge still in his voice.

“No. I want to bring-… I want to bring my boyfriend.” My stomach is a fucking mess as I stare, holding my breath as I watch him.

“Boyfriend?” He bites his lip and I flinch, ready for him to crack me. “What do you mean,  _ ‘boyfriend’ _ ?” He sounds so angry and I cower like a scolded dog.

“My boyfriend, the boy that I kiss and am in love with.” I hiccup as tears start to form.

“What the hell!?” He shouts and I flinch. “You said you were  _ done _ with that, Basil! You said you would not be a disgrace to-”

“Malcolm!” Daphne hits his arm. “Stop that, this instant!” She scolds. “He was already obviously afraid to tell us!” 

“Thank you.” I whisper meekly.

“Basilton, Darling, you can bring whoever you please,” She brushes a hand over my arm. I look up at her and she swipes a tear from my cheek. “Happy birthday, Basil… Now, tell your boyfriend to start packing and you get some sleep.” 

I nod and stand.

“Thank you.” I say once more before stumbling to my room. 

It's not until I'm already upstairs that I realize, his name was never mentioned.

***

I wake the next morning in a cold sweat. A horrid dream of how tomorrow would go, put me into a restless sleep. I had fallen asleep on videochat with him, I notice when I open my phone to Skype.

_ 10:01 _

**Call** _ 2h 14m 59s _

**Goodnight, my love <3**

I smile and open Snapchat. I have my front camera on and holy shit, I look more dead than usual, my hair is matted and stuck to my face and I’m severely pale. I take a picture of my forehead,  _ Sorry I fell asleep on you, my Darling. Good Morning <3 (excuse the lack of color, I need to hunt) _

I slide from bed and my knees nearly buckle beneath me. I catch myself on the bedside table and stand there for a moment. I really need to hunt.

I trudge down the stairs and outside. I walk out into the woods and find myself a deer that I drain in moments.

Once I make my way into the house, I find myself sittin on the kitchen counter, eating an apple and Snapchatting with Snow.

“Did you tell them?” Mordelia drops into the seat in front of me.

“I was so freaked out that I forgot to tell them who it was.” I sigh into my apple.

“What?” She scoffs.

“Like, I was almost crying and I was shaking like a dog in a storm and Father started yelling at me for saying I want to bring by boyfriend and, like, uh… Daphne said I could bring anybody I want and told me not to worry and go get rest and I bolted.” I hum and bite into my apple.

“Christ, Bal, they’re going to kill you.” She sighs at me.

“Or him…” I mumble and she frowns at me. “I love him so goddamn much, it would kill me to see him get hurt.”

“Tell him that.” She shrugs and my shoulders tense.

“It’s too early for that! I can’t be that clingy!” I huff, pressing at hand over my eyes.

“What the in the Great Snakes do you mean ‘ _ too early’ _ !” She tosses her hands in the air. “It’s been a month Bal! Most people say it in the first day!”

“But, I don’t want to scare Simon away because I’ve only ever loved him, he’s the only person I’ve ever felt anything for.” I sigh and she looks up at me.

“I think he loves you too, Bal. You just need to stop thinking and go for it. Get everything you want.” She smiles and I smile back.

“Same for you Mila.” I always called her that, like she calls me ‘Bal’.

***

I awake at exactly midnight to my phone ringing in my ear. I grunt and in my haste to answer it, I send it to voicemail. I frown as Snow’s name vanishes but my eyes flicker closed before I can call him back.

I wake up again at three, no longer tired as my nerves pump. I sit and grab my phone, noticing a voicemail from Simon. I grin and listen to it.

**_“Happy birthday, my love!”_ ** Simon cheers, giggling into the receiver.  **_“You must be sleeping, or you shut your sound off. Either way, happy birthday to my one and only love! You’re finally an adult! Legally we could run away and get married now!”_ ** He continues to laugh and it breaks into a yawn.  **_“Pick me up early, I have a surprise for my Birthday boy! Sweet dreams my love.”_ ** And the call ends. I love him dearly and I want to tell him that.

I get up and shuffle to Mordelia’s room. She’s asleep, as expected and I huff. She sits bolt up right at the sound and snaps her head in my direction. “Who?” She demands and I jump at her tone.

“It’s just me.” I whisper back.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I need construction paper, like, something colorful,”I explain. “It-... It's a gift for Simon.” 

She lets out a puff and grumbles lightly as she gets up. “You are so lucky I don't hate you.” Mordelia makes her way to a box of her crafty stuff.

I watch her use her wand to light the room and she plucks out some paper. “I need a lot.” I tell her and she rolls her eyes.

“Here,” She hands me a stack of rainbow pages. “Good luck with whatever you're planning. I'm exhausted so leave now.” She pushes me towards the door.

“Thanks. I owe you.” I grin, patting her head before hurrying down to the kitchen, stealing scissors and a mason jar along with some fancy looking ribbon. 

I lug everything to my room and flick my desk lamp on. I pull my drawer with my gel-pen collection open and take out a pen, drawing a fancy box-like, diamond thing on the top, pink sheet. 

In my slanted, smooth, cursive writing I scrawl out across the paper the meaning behind the jar.

**_102 Scraps Of My Love_ **

I magically glue it to a fancy yellow oval that I bond to the glass jar. I then add gorgeous red ribbon with a massive bow on the side. 

That's when I decide to discard the scissors and start ripping the paper up into one-hundred-and-two pieces I make a rainbow of confetti basically. 

I pull out pen after pen, I had nearly five hundred but, I only wanted the ones that are as perfect as Simon is. 

I take a scrap and start the list. 

**_You're a total idiot all the time, but the good kind._ **

**_I only feel at home when I'm with you._ **

**_Your eyes light up when you see me._ **

**_Your smile is too big for your face._ **

**_The reason I found every song I've ever loved is because they remind me of you._ **

**_You kiss me like I'm the only person on the planet._ **

**_The star map on your skin is my guide home._ **

**_My heart only seemed to start beating when I met you._ **

**_I finally don't feel freezing all the time._ **

**_The way you wrap around me in bed._ **

I write and don't think. I just write all the things that I hope he knows. Common knowledge to me.

**_I say that you are the stars._ **

**_You kiss boys and I kiss you too._ **

I think about everything, how it all started. Simon Snow accidentally added me on Snapchat and now I'm making him an anniversary gift. I'm excited for my birthday for the first time in thirteen years. Well, fourteen really, mother died just before my fifth one. 

I keep writing and writing and writing until I can't hold the pen anymore and then I spell it to keep going without me.

I wake at seven with my head on the desk and a hundred papers spread around me.

I smile and collect all of them placing them in the jar according to color, purple on the bottom to blue, then green, yellow, orange and finally red. It makes me happy to look at it because it has a fraction of my love in it. It's something I hope that Simon will keep and something that will make him happy.

I stand and wander to Mordelia’s room once again. She's sitting on her bed, coloring a sketch of something.

“Hey, do you have tissue paper?” I say and she jumps so hard that she throws her sketch book.

“Crowley, Baz!” She gasps and clutches her chest. “Yeah, I think I do.” She pants and makes her way across the room, rummaging through some stuff in a closet before handing me a brown paper bag that she'd designed herself and some pink tissue paper to match. 

“These are beautiful, Mordelia.” I say as I look them over.

“Not my best work.” She shrugs and returns to her bed, picking up her book and continues to color.

“What are you drawing?” I ask and she pulls it into her chest.

“It's not done, you can see it later!” She hisses but looks nervous for me to look at it.

“I won't think it's bad.” I say.

“No. I don't show people my unfinished works.” She frowns and I give up.

“Okay, okay, show me when you're done.” I hold my hands up in surrender.

“Good, leave so I can finish,” She points to the door and I laugh, turning to the door and grabbing the handle. “Wait.” She says before I open it.

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday, stupid.” She grins genuinely at me.

I smile back at her. “Thanks, Mila.” 

***

I dash up the stairs to Simon’s house, rasping my knuckles on the wooden door. His mother opens it and smiles brightly at me. “Tyrannus!” She hugs me and I flinch at the name.

“My first name?” I ask and she nods.

“Yes! Of course! It  _ is _ your name after all.” She coos as she pulls back.

“Baz!” Simon cheers as he runs to me, throwing himself onto me. “Happy birthday, my love!” He leaves sloppy, wet kisses all over my face as I laugh. It feels like a movie. Being in love with Simon is like a movie itself.

“Simon.” I giggle as I pull back sightly from him.

“Happy birthday, Tyrannus.” His mother grins at me.

“How did you know my first name?” I ask her and she looks towards Simon.

“Simon told me you perfered it.” She shrugs and I glare feircely at my love as he scampers back.

“I definitely did not do that.” He says warily.

I ignore him and turn back to his mother with a softer stare. “I actually don’t really go by Tyrannus, I’ve never been called it unless it’s by somebody that doesn’t know me.” I explain to her.

“I’m sorry, Basilton. I didn’t realize.” She apologizes.

“Not your fault, it’s Simon’s fault.” I glare at him again and he gives me a big smile in attempt to calm my intense eye contact.

His mother laughs and pats Simon on the shoulder. “You two have fun and don’t forget your bags, Simon.” She says, noticing he didn’t have any down here.

Simon takes my wrist and I melt. “Help me carry them, you’re stronger than me.” He grins as he tugs me along.

_ I love you, I love you, I love you. _

I repeat in my head, trying to get myself to say it. I give up when he stuffs two bags in my arms before slinging a bag over his shoulder and placing a duffle bag on his arm. I huff at him and he gives me a smile.

“I’m driving,” He tells me, holding a hand out in front of me. “Keys.”

“Fuck no, you aren’t.” My brow furrows.

“I’m bringing you somewhere, so, I am.” He keeps his hand out and I let out a very Snow-like growl before handing them over.

“Crash and I kill you.” I war and he just simply waves a hand dismissively my way.

I love him.


	18. Open When...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! Hello everybody! Sorry for the slow updates recently! School fucking sucks.  
> Anyway, a couple little things.  
> 1 - I think I may surpass the 20 chapter limit that I kinda set for myself.  
> 2 - I might make a little 'after it all' thingy because I have some ideas that won't fit without HUGE time skips.  
> 3 - When I finish this I will be doing some MAJOR editing!!!!  
> 4 - Chapter Note: Mordelia and Baz both are mothered by Natasha (M- 15 // B- 18)  
> 5 - I love you all and thank you for the patience, I hope that it's worth the wait! Keep commenting!!!

#  Baz

Simon brought me to a cafe and breakfast place, Mugshots. It was cute and small and Simon and I sat on the same side of a booth and he fed me strawberries and cream from his plate. I’m very in love with him in this moment. At one point I kissed him and stole one straight from his mouth.

This is probably why people hate gays so much. If all of them are like us, they have a valid reason.

Simon has told me ‘happy birthday’ so many times today that it's already lost meaning to me at ten-thirty in the morning. 

“Are you ready to meet my family?” I ask as we get about fifteen minutes from the cottage. 'Cottage’ is a loose term, it's more like a wooden mansion. 

“Yeah, I actually can't wait.” He beams at me and my fingers get tight around the steering wheel. 

“They're going to flip out.” I mumble. I think that Simon must've noticed how worried I am and he touches my knee.

“Its okay, Little Puff, it'll be alright.” Coos Simon as he brings his hand up, brushing his fingers softly over my cheek.

I nearly cry. “Simon.” I say.

“Yes?” He asks.

“Did you know that I confessed to you a lot earlier, well, a few days earlier than when we went to your house?” I murmur. 

“What?” He laughs a little.

“You were sick and I sent a snapchat to you confessing to you and you screenshotted but never replied to it.” I speak and his eyes flash with recognition.

“Wait, that was directly sent to me?” He asks, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah, obviously, Simon.” I sigh.

“It wasn’t that obvious. I thought it was on your story.”

“It didn’t say my name on it, so, it wasn’t on my story.” I huff tensely and Simon smacks himself on the forehead.

“That makes more sense,” He says and touches my knee. “I'm sorry, I didn't realize... I thought it was too good to be true then.” Simon speaks softly as he leans closer, touching my knee.

“What?” I say, glancing at him again.

“I wanted to kiss you so bad when I was going through my screenshots and found it and all I could think about was all the cryptic shit with stars you put on your story about the one you loved. I dunno, it just pushed my brain into thinking that it wasn’t mine like I wanted it to be. Just like you were at the time.” He explains and my heart melts.

I toss on my blinker and peel into my driveway. “You’re my one and only love.” I tell him and he blushes.

“Baz…” Simon trails lightly.

“Yes, Darling?”

“I know we’ve only been together a month but, can we talk about the future for a second? Like, hypothetical, ten years down the line?”

“Of course, love.” I coo and stop outside the house, parking and turning to him.

“So, like, say we were to get married and everything, you know? Like, you live forever and all but, um… I don’t…” He trails.

“Simon, are you asking me to turn you?” I ask, sucking at my fangs.

“Not now, but, I mean, like, later…” He squirms.

I take his hands and kiss his knuckles. “Someday, I will make sure to do that if I don’t turn you with either my saliva or by accident in the meantime,” I chuckle lightly and he grins. “I promise that we'll never be without each other, Snow.” I try and make it as not-romantic as possible by calling him  _ 'Snow’ _ , I don't think it worked as his cheeks burn red. 

I let go of his hands and throw my door open. I was embarrassed and needed to distract myself before I regressed into a puddle and sank into the seat. 

Simon laughs and slides out as well, tagging behind me quickly as I shuffle to the door. Everybody was already here surprisingly, or, well, not-so-surprisingly as we should’ve been here like three hours ago.

I hold the doorknob and I’m trembling. I swallow hard. “I can’t do it, Snow.” I croak and he touches my back.

“Yes, you can, Basil.” He says softly and kisses my cheek.

I close my eyes and suck in a breath before shoving the door open. Simon Snow really is the hero of my story, he’s the only thing that makes me brave.

“We-... We’re here!” I cough out. Mordelia runs into the room and she throws her arms around Simon. Neither Snow, nor I, quite know what to do.

“Thank you,” She whispers to him. “So, so, much for making my brother happy again… Thank you, Simon,” I swear that I see a tear on her cheek as she pulls away, swiping it away. “Don’t mind my parents, by the way. They don’t see his change like I do.”

And with that, she scampers off.

Daphne and Father enter in that moment and they both freeze at the sight of Simon. “Who-...?” Father trails and I shakily move my arm over Simon’s shoulders.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Grimm.” Simon smiles.

“He-...” My voice breaks and I clear my throat, coughing for a second time. “This is my boyfriend, Simon.” I can barely speak and he gives a little wave that makes my chest get tight. Crowley, he is so cute.

“No,” Hisses Father. “Absolutely not.” He shakes his head.

“What?” I mumble.

“I said no. This is not acceptable in  _ my _ home. I’m not even approving of you being one of those damn fag-boys and you have the audacity to bring  _ him _ here.” He gestures to Simon.

“I-... Father, just-...” I trail, glancing to Daphne for help. She’s looking at the floor. “He’s the only one I’ve ever cared about…” My voice is weak, so are my legs and the rest of me is also.

“Basilton! Sodemy is not about attraction! And, for Crowley’s sakes, Basil, you could find much better! He’s not even-”

“Shut the fuck up,” I snap. “Shut your fucking mouth! You act like we’re in the seventeen-hundreds! I can love whoever the fuck I want and that person is Simon bloody Snow! If you don’t want him here, then, I’m not staying either.” I grip Simon tight, he was mine and nobody would touch him or hurt him. _ Nobody _ but me can be mean to Simon because he is mine and I love him with all of my heart and never mean any of the mean, stupid shit that I say. Simon knows that.

“Basilton.” Daphne frowns, finally looking up.

“What? Are you going to add insult to injury now? I don’t need to hear it.” I huff and she shakes her head.

“The Mage is dead. It doesn’t matter anymore. There’s no  _ war _ . Simon, honey, you can stay. It’s okay. Don’t listen to my husband.” She shoots a glare at Father.

“Thank you ma’am.” Simon mumbles quietly, seeming to be afraid to speak.

“Basil, happy birthday.” She says to me and I give her a small smile.

“Thanks.”

“Bal! Simon!” Mordelia hurries into the room and we both turn her way. Father looks ready to scold her for using Simon’s name.

“Yeah?” I ask as she grabs my wrist. 

“Come!” She pulls my arm and drags the two of us to her room.

“What are you doing? Father is going to flip out in you for speaking to Simon!” I whisper/yell at her.

“I don’t care, I finished my drawing,” She grins. “It’s one of five actually.”

“You can show me later, Mila.” I tell her as Simon clings to my side.

Mordelia grabs a sloppily wrapped package off of her bed and she holds it out to me. “Most of it is handmade because I don’t have any money but, happy birthday,” Her hands shake and she looks like she may cry. “I really hope you don’t hate it.”

“Mila, how could I ever hate anything you make me? At least you cared about me enough to remember it was my birthday. Father hasn’t even said happy birthday to me.” I let go of Simon and I hug her, taking the box gently.

I sit on her bed and Simon sticks close to me. I smile up at him and peel back the paper, ripping some tape off of a cardboard box before pulling the flaps back. I look inside and find a heart-shaped rainbow pin that says ‘ _ Love wins _ ’ on it, a picture of her, mum and I in a hand painted frame with the word ‘ _ family _ ’ written in beautiful cursive on the top and a green folder that says ‘ _ for Bal, from; Mila. Happy Birthday.’ _ on it. 

I lift the folder out and place the box to the side, opening it up and instantly, I gasp. I lift out a stack of five pictures. Five hand-drawn things that Mordelia had done. They are beautiful.

The first is of me, smiling at my phone on the kitchen counter with one of those little lines and a heart just above my head. The second is a drawing of Snow and I from the waist up, I’m in a grey dress shirt and Simon is in a greenish/brown suit with an arm around my neck and I have an arm around his waist and our other hands are linked as if we were dancing. The third is the flower crown Snapchat and it has ‘ _ Boys with crowns are kings in disguise’  _ written in the sky in beautiful, big, round calligraphy. The fourth is one of our backs as we walk down a gorgeous street and the sky is aflame with stars and sunsets. The final one was of Simon kissing my cheek, like the ‘ _ my love’ _ Snapchat from the ice cream place.

I’m near tears as I look them over. She’s an absolutely incredible artist. “Mordelia…” I whisper and my eyes flick to Snow as I hear him sniff. He’s crying too. 

Simon throws his arms around her before I can even move. I join the hug seconds after. “Happy birthday and anniversary to you both,” She mumbles into us. Suddenly, she jumps and pulls away. “I almost forgot!” She gasps dramatically and hurries to her desk, plucking a page like mine from a pile of papers. “This one’s for you. Sorry if it sucks. Bal described the night you got together to me and this was what I pictured.” She hands him the drawing and I lean to look at it.

It’s beautiful, it’s like we’re in space and I’m leaned over him, between his legs, we’re kissing and he has one hand gripping my shirt and the other cupping my face while both of mine are tangled in his hair. It was probably the most beautiful that she’d done.

We hug her again and she laughs. “Thank you, Mila.” I say and she nods.

“Happy birthday, Bal. And, thank you, Simon,” She kisses his cheek and ruffles my hair. “Go be with Simon now. You two deserve a romantic vacation.” She chuckles and I groan. Simon is bright red.

“Thank you, Mordelia. You’re really sweet.” Simon mumbles, practically hiding behind me like a skittish child.

I chuckle and lean back to kiss him over my shoulder. Mordelia coos out an ‘ _ awe! _ ’ at us as she takes a photo of us.

I roll my eyes as Simon hugs my arm, breaking our kiss. “Thank you, Mila. We’ll be back soon, I’m going to take Simon for a walk so he’ll actually speak to me.” I titter gently and he pinches my shoulder.

“Hey!” He mutters with a stupid smile on his face.

“You’re so cute when you’re shy.” I grin as I take his hand and pull him to the door. Simon giggles like a child as our eyes meet. I just want to make him forever mine.

I pull him downstairs and lead him to the back door, holding his hands, both of them and mostly watching him as we giggle and stumble to the sliding glass that lead to the backyard. I bump into it and pull Simon close, kissing him lovingly with a huge smile on my face. I cup his jaw in my palms and rub my thumbs over his cheeks.

I fucking love him so much.

“You’re so beautiful.” I speak so soft that I’m sure that Simon couldn’t hear. But, he did and he kisses me.

“That’s you, my love.” He smiles as me and I let out a squeak as my heart stops for a moment at the way he looks. He chuckles lightly and brings his hands up, twirling my hair on his fingers.

There’s a click and a flash, both of us jumping, my heart thudding in my chest. “Daphne!” I gasp. “You scared the  _ hell _ out of me!” I pant as I reach out for Simon.

“Sorry!” She laughs, smiling at us. “You are just so cute together!” She coos and hands the polaroid to us.

I blush at the picture. “Thank you,” I hand it to Simon to look at. “We’re going for a walk.”

“Okay, don’t be gone too long, Mordelia made you cake!” She grins and I smile back. I care so much about her, she’s better than our father. She’s the only part of mother that I have left.

I pull the door open and Simon slides outside first. I quickly follow after and close the door behind me, pushing my arms around his waist and shoving my face into his shoulder.

“Wait, I want you to open your gift up there.” I say and let him go. Both of us hurry back inside to retrieve each others gifts before heading to my favorite spot.

***

We walk, hand-in-hand through the trails. They lead up a mountain in the woods behind my house. It’s not big at all and it drops off on the top into a lake. It’s probably my favorite place, other than in Simon’s arms that is. Simon’s hands are hot and pretty sweaty and mine are cold so, I don’t complain.

He rubs at my skin with his thumb and we bump against one another casually, almost as if we’re checking to see if the other’s still there. Every single second with Snow makes me smile and now, I’m beaming like an absolute idiot.

I point ahead of us to the bench at the edge of the world, as I call it at least. “I hope you find it as beautiful as I do.” I mumble to him.

“You’re too distracting, doubt I’ll be able to look away from how gorgeous you are.” Simon taps my nose and I roll my eyes.

“You are such a brat.” I bump his hip and he laughs.

“You love it.” He teases and I let out a groan and sigh.

“I do.” I admit as we reach the bench, sitting incredibly close.

“Open.” He drops a box in my lap.

I sigh at him. “What’s this.”

“Birthday.” He grins.

“I refuse to open this. I said no birthday gifts.” I cross my arms in protest and Simon lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Baz! I worked really hard on it! Okay, fine then, it’s for our anniversary!” He shakes my arm.

“So you  _ made _ me this, hmm?” I grin and he turns red.

“Yes, just open it, please!” Snow begs me and I relent after looking at his adorable face. I tear the paper back and find a black box. It reminds me of the things in craft stores that old people buy to keep photos in. 

I lift the lid and it’s practically overflowing with envelopes. I curiously pluck one from the pile and look at the back. Simon’s sloppy but perfect handwriting is scribbled on the paper.

**_Open When…_ **

**_You’re having a terrible day ♥_ **

I know exactly what this box is when I look at it. My hands start to shake as the fall back to the box and tears fill my eyes. I close them and take in a deep breath, stray tears clinging to my lashes. “Oh, Simon…” My voice wavers and I clamp a hand over my mouth.

“Baz… Do you… Is it okay?” He hums anxiously and that just makes me cry harder.

“Simon… Crowley, Simon…” I can’t figure out how to even function at this point.

“Baz, please don’t cry…” He murmurs to me. “I made them because I know that sometimes you get sad or like, you know… I don’t know… It was stupid.”

I hiccup and ball my free hand into a fist in attempt to calm down. “Christ, Simon… I-... Oh, Simon…” I breathe in sharply and let out a cough.

“Baz…?” He mumbles and touches my knee, I hold his hand tight in my own.

“I love you so much, Simon,” I whisper and hiccup again before shooting upright at the realization of my words. I look his way with my tear-filled eyes. “No, Simon, I mean-... I-...” I stammer out, trying to cover up incase I’d really fucked it all up.

He takes my face in both of his hands. “I love you too, Basil,” Simon’s voice is as soft as mine. “So, so,  _ so _ much.”

And I sob. I pathetically bawl my eyes out, right there on the bench and Simon holds my head to his chest, rubbing my back and playing with my hair. He had no idea what this gift meant to me. He had no idea how much I  _ needed _ this gift.

“Thank you,” I sob out and he kisses the top of my head. “Thank you, so much.” My voice cracks and crumbles.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I love you and that’s what you do for somebody you love, Baz. You make them feel like they’re worth something and you are worth more than the world to me.”

I let out another smothered wail into his chest. “Look what you do to me.” A sharp breath rattles in my ribs.

“It’s all because I love you.”

“Simon, I fucking love you and I’ve wanted to tell you that for years. I am in love with you,” I lift my face to look at him and he cups my cheeks in his palms. “Fuck, Simon… Christ, I love you so much.”

Simon smiles stupidly at me and I kiss his nose, lacing our fingers. “Open yours.”

#  Simon

Baz reaches down and grabs a bag, placing it into my lap. I stare at it for a second before looking back at him. “What's this?” I ask and he rolls his eyes at me.

“Happy anniversary, Darling,” He brushes my hair behind my ear. “Your hair is getting so long.” He observes and twirls an end around his finger.

“I'm getting it cut a little before school.” I tell him and he nods a bit.

“Not too much,” He hums. “Now, open.” He pats the bag.

I let out a huff. “ _ Fine _ .” I mock his tone from before and he smacks me on the shoulder.

I tug the wrapping paper out of the bag and pull out a thing wrapped loosely in the paper. I free it and turn it in my hand to read the thing on the front. It's so beautifully made. “One-hundred-and-two scraps of my love…” I read out. There's papers all torn that fill it in the form of a rainbow. 

I unscrew the cap and pluck a paper from the top and look at it. 

**_I was eleven years old, and I'd lost my mother, and my soul, and the Crucible gave me you._ **

I swipe a tear away from my eye as I read it.

“ _ Baz _ …” I hum and place a hand over my chest. 

“It's nowhere near as good as what you made me. Your other gift’s still not here. I ordered it and it hasn't arrived.” 

“No, Baz, I  _ love _ this.” I insist and my chest feels tight and I might start crying. 

“You don't have to lie.” Baz gives me a push.

“I'm not!” I gasp and put the lid back on it, hugging it to my chest. “Thank you so much, baby.” I place it between us and pull my arms around him.

“I love you. You're so strong and beautiful and you're my everything.” Baz whispers to me, soft and full of love. Stray tears dribble down my face and cling to my chin and jaw.

“Now  _ I’m _ crying, Baz.” I puff and he chuckles gently, catching my face between his index and middle fingers and his thumb, turning my head to look at him and then he kisses me.

He presses his other hand to my chest and seems to be trying to initiate a make-out session. He ends it abruptly, panting like an idiot as he can no longer breathe properly through his stuffed nose.

I chuckle and pull my wand out.  **_“Just breathe.”_ ** I cast and tap the end of it to his nose. Baz smiles and leans in, bumping his forehead to mine.

“Thank you, Babe.”

Baz checks the time on his phone and frowns. “Looks like we should head back.”

“Okay, handsome.” I kiss him once more and feel him smile.

“I love you, my Simon.”

“I love you too, my Basil leaf.” 


	19. I Only Love You

#  Simon

Baz was showering and I was alone and also very bored. He took for-fucking-ever to get ready. He was slower than  _ Agatha _ for snakes’ sakes! And, let me just tell you, she was  _ slow _ .

This gave me the brilliant idea to head down to the kitchen to find something to drink. Going down the stairs made me realize how massive this place was. It had an old feel to it and it was gorgeous, it looked and felt like an old log cabin but, it was the size of a goddamned mansion. Baz must find my house pathetic if this is what he’s used to. Especially when his actual house was  _ way _ bigger

I, by a stroke of pure luck, manage to find the kitchen in the first room I stumble upon. I am way more proud of myself than I should be by this. Though, now that I’m in here, I’m too anxious to actually get myself anything. In a family like this, I feel as though everybody would have their own mugs and glasses that others can’t touch, you know?

The swinging door is pushed open and I kind of expect to find Baz when I jump and spin to face whoever it was.

Malcolm Grimm.

He freezes when he spots me, not looking very pleased to have me in his presence while I stand, staring, like a deer in headlights. “M-... Mr. Grimm… He-Hello.” I stammer like a moron, utterly intimidated by him.

“Yeah,” He grunts at me. “What are you doing?”

“I-I… I was trying, ah… To, well, uh… Get a glass of water… Baz is showering.” I mutter, cheeks ablaze with a mixture of nerves and embarrassment.

“Surprised you didn’t try to join him since you’re one of those fag-boys.” Hisses Malcolm as he gets himself a glass of red wine. I notice then, that Baz looks almost nothing like his father other than his longer nose and widows peak. He looks mostly like his mother. I bet he would’ve had the most beautiful caramel-skin.

I let out an awkward cough to clear the air, scratching at my cheek. “Listen, sir… I know you don’t like me-... Well, more like, you hate me… I just want to let you know that truly, I  _ hate _ the Mage and despise what he’s done. It was only recently that I found out that he was my father and I am so sorry for any damage he’s caused your family… I am so sorry about Mrs. Pitch… I want to make things good and right his wrongs. I want to make it up to you and your family, sir in any way that I can.” I offer wholeheartedly and he doesn’t so much as look my way.

“If you really want to make it up to us then,  _ leave _ . Nobody wants you around this house, especially after you are part of the reason that my wife died and Mordelia and Basilton were left without her. Get the hell out of my home and leave my son alone.” He turns momentarily to me at the end of his small rambling.

I’m fumbling to find something to say to him when the door flings open and I hear Baz’s voice before I even see him. “Seriously? He was being  _ nice _ and you act like that? He has absolutely  _ zero _ reason to be so kind to you when you can’t even so much as look at him without disgust in your eyes. He fucking  _ apologized _ . There is nothing else he possibly  _ can _ do. I’m stating right now,  _ do not  _ ask a  _ single _ thing of him. He owes you  _ nothing _ .” Baz scolds, his stare burning with rage as he keeps his eyes locked on his father. He turns to me when he’s finished, his whole demeanor softening.

He touches my arm to draw me nearer to him. “What did you need, darling?” His hand slips to my wrist. His father makes a face.

“I was… I was just getting a drink.” I say shyly and Baz whips to glare at Malcolm.

“You are such a fucking prick,” He says to his father. “What would you like, sweetheart?” He asks me, brushing hair from my face to lay behind my ear.

“Anything’s fine.” I shrug looking down as his father’s harsh stare was making me anxious.

“Would you like tea?” He asks, brushing a hand to my cheek, his fingertips are a bit rough which shows he’s been playing with fire more often recently.

“Okay.” I blush and look down. 

“You’re so cute when you blush.” He comments and kisses the corner of my mouth.

“Basilton!” His father shouts, making me jump and Baz just rolls his eyes. “Get you hands off of him!” He shaps.

“If you don’t like it, leave. I don’t care what you think about him. I love him and that’s all that matters.” Baz is calm and unnerved while I, on the other hand, am shaking.

“I can leave…” I whisper.

“You’re not leaving.” He sighs.

“Basilton! In this home we  _ do not  _ tolerate behavior such as this! I cannot believe you! Giving up your mother’s name and her bloodline… I thought you cared about her, Basil,” His father argues. “He’s leaving and that is final.”

I feel his hands shaking as soon as his mother is brought into the conversation.

“Fuck you. If he leaves, I leave and I won’t be coming home.” He turns to the stove and starts making my tea. He’s shaking and I know it bothers him that he’s not passing on his mother's name or power. 

“We do not tolerate faggots in this house.” His father pushes again and Baz’s grip on the kettle falters, I reach to catch it and it burns my palms before clattering to the floor. Daphne enters the kitchen at the sound.

I hold back from making a sound as Baz rushes to clean the mess of water. My breathing is unsteady and I want to cry from the pain in my hands. I shove them in my pockets to hide the evidence of me getting hurt.

“What is going on in here!?” Daphne speaks and Baz looks up at her. 

“Ask him,” He hisses and tosses the kettle into the sink. “I’ll get your tea in a second.” He says in a softer tone toward me.

“I don’t need any.” I croak and he gives me a confused stare.

“Okay,” He stands and throws away some paper towels. “Let’s go upstairs.” He says, grabbing my arm and pulling me along behind him.

“I’m sorry.” I say softly.

“What for?” He asks, glancing back at me.

“I probably shouldn’t have gone down without you in the first place,” I mumble. “It’s my fault that happened.”

“It’s not your fault. If it wasn’t for him that wouldn’t have happened,” Baz insists, stubborn as always. “Are you alright? Your voice is really tense.” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I reply as we enter is room.

“Are you sure?” He pulls me to lay with him on his bed. I nod as I remove my hands from my pockets with a wince and he notices. “No your not!” He grabs my wrists and looks down at my hands.

“I’m fine, Baz.”

“You burned yourself.” He says quietly.

“I’m fine.” I repeat but cry out when he touches them. 

“Simon! Why didn’t you say something? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” He frowns.

“I don’t want you to worry.”

“It was my fault.” He says quietly and he kisses my palms. 

“Ow, Baz, please don’t touch them,” I whimper. “And it’s not.”

“It is…” he pulls out his wand and touches the tip to my skin.  **_“Take the pain away.”_ **

They don’t hurt anymore after he does that. 

“Thanks, but, really, please don’t blame yourself.” I lay my head on his chest and he sighs.

“I blame myself for everything, Snow. Every bad thing that happens to you is my fault and always will be.” He mumbles into my hair.

“Shut up, Baz. You’re wrong. You haven’t done anything wrong.” I say quietly and he kisses my forehead.

“I’m bad for you.”

“Baz, please.”

“No, Simon. You’re hurt and it’s my fault and you’re being treated horrible and I can tell you would rather be anywhere but here.” He argues and his voice is frustrated.

“If I’m with you, I’m happy, okay, shut up about all this shit about you not being good enough. I’m jealous because I’ll never be anything near as perfect as you. Now shut it.” I lean up and kiss him reassuringly.

“I love you.” He says in a quiet tone, brushing my hair out of my eyes. 

“I love you too, Basil.” I yawn and we fall into silence for a bit before Baz speaks up again.

“So, I, Well… I want to come out when we get back to Watford.” 

“What?” I ask and he shifts under me a little.

“I want to be out. I mean, Dev is definitely going to spread some shit anyway.” He hums.

“I-... Baz, I’m proud of you but… Not to make this about me, but, I’m not ready to…” I trail and Baz runs his hand up under my shirt, rubbing my back.

“No! No! I don’t mean like-... I just-... I want people to know I’m gay! You don’t have to tell anybody we’re dating if you’re not ready.” He shakes his head.

“Listen, Baz, I know it sounds stupid since I post pictures of us all the time on my story, I just really don’t think I want people to know yet. I want to be with you though. I don’t want you to leave me because of it.” I frown and pull at a loose thread on his blanket.

“I’m okay with it, Snow. I really am. We share a room, we can be together in there.” He insists.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” 

“Because if you’re not, I’ll do anything to make sure I can make it okay.” I say and he sighs.

“Simon, I’m not making you out yourself.”

“Okay…” I yawn and he rubs circles on my skin.

“Let’s take a nap.”

#  Baz

When I wake up, Simon is sitting up near the end of my bed with his back against the wall and his legs rested over mine. He’s on his phone, seemingly texting somebody. 

He giggles and I grin as I sit up. “You’re awake!” He grins at me as I slide to lean on him. I look at his screen and find the reason that he’s sitting here, laughing and grinning is Agatha.

“Why are you talking to her?” I glare.

“I have plans with her and Penny when we get back. Wanna join?” He smiles and I don’t return it.

“You’re hanging out with your ex? The girl that you’re in love with?” 

“I’m not in love with her,” He says and gives me a skeptical glare. “You woke up in a bad mood, I see.” He comments and glances back at his phone, noticing she sent a new message. He laughs and starts typing back.

“No. I’m in a bad mood because you’re talking to  _ Agatha _ . The girl you chased after for fucking  _ six years _ , Snow.” I snap at him and he looks at me, slightly shocked.

“I’m friends with her still, Baz. Chill out,” He sighs and starts sending another reply to her before he’s even done speaking to me. “It’s not like I’d ever go back to her, anyway.” I read the messages over his shoulder. All of them are obvious flirting. 

“Don’t tell me to  _ chill out _ ! You’re talking to your  _ ex _ , Snow. She’s the girl you’ve kissed a fucking hundred times and the girl you fucked and the one that you’ve seen naked and-... and-... Crowley! You can’t be friends with somebody you’ve seen naked!” I snap and move off of the bed.

“Calm the fuck down, Baz. So what if her and I did some shit. It’s in the past. She was an awful kisser and there was nothing behind it!” He argues.

“You  _ hated  _ me! You actually fucking despised me, Snow! This could all be a ploy for all I know!” I shout in exasperation.

“Yeah! Definitely! This is all just me plotting against you, Baz! One night I’ll just kill you in your sleep! What are you? Fucking stupid? God, I  _ love you _ , Baz!” He yells back at me and I flip him off.

“Fuck you. If you loved me then you wouldn’t talk to her, Snow. She treated you like shit and I watched her for years and it  _ killed _ me. Every time you came back upset because of her-... Christ! Snow!” I slump down onto the couch and scrub at my face with my hands. “I love you so much and you’re talking to your ex… How should I feel? Please tell me how I’m supposed to feel. How would  _ you _ feel, actually, if this were reversed?”

“I’d-... Well, I’d be pretty upset I guess…” He hangs his head. “But, that’s only because like… Your gorgeous, Baz… Everybody  _ already _ wants you. If you had an ex… I would be no competition.” 

I look up at him and he’s slumped forward a bit with his head hung. “That’s how I feel about you… Especially when you really loved Wellbelove at one point… I just-... I’m afraid you’ll find somebody better.” 

Simon stands and joins me on the couch, resting his head in my lap. “No, I love you, Baz. I love you in a way that I never understood before,” He reaches up and brushes a hand over my cheek. “You’re scruffy.” He mumbles and I can’t help cracking a smile at that.

“I’ll shave later,” I say and take his hand in mine. “But, I’m sorry for flipping out. I’m just jealous of her. She can have anything she wants.”

“Anything but me because I love you.”


	20. Just a notice!

Hey!

This is just another quick update for you guys!

I'm actually editing the chapters and changing some stuff around, nothing major!

But, for all updates on my stuff check out my freshly created twitter for my writing! @coffeesforfckrs!

I'll be posting announcements, previews and updates as well as other random things on there!

I love you guys so much <3 give me a follow!


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